What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

Kids in rear facing car seats until they're 8.

Then she started screaming, I was crying and shaking, she was vile and odd, she wanted me to pay VAT on Crispin's school fees!

But I was determined to go to Centreparks! Evil MIL invited herself, I didn't know what to do. She was screaming, maybe she has dementia. How can I tell her not to come without telling her? I'm literally crying and shaking.

I need to pack everyone's suitcases, hubby has a very important job but is only on 200k, we're barely scraping by. He's so busy with his hobby! I do everything, how do I tell him to do more without telling him?!

You’d hate me OP.

My DS used to play basketball and my car used to be loaded up with 6 foot plus teenage boys all demanding stops at McDonald’s for 20 chicken nugget box meals on the way back. We do exist.

However in the spirit of the thread I will contribute MNers who hire cleaners and have to ask us whether it’s acceptable to not pay them for two hours cleaning when they only turn up for 15 minutes.

Me too. It’s the latest “narcissist” - look at me I know big words.

Back in the old days people just had standards. That was fine

Not allowing your dog off the lead ever because they should be 100% fixated on you and don’t need to socialise with other dogs who are mainly horrible anyway because of poor training.

Weirdly my local park is full of friendly off lead dogs & relaxed owners.

🙋‍♀️

we’ve given my daughter my last name, not the name of my partner. My mother did the same. Rare but does exist!

This fucks me off so much! I always imagine the poster's smug face as they post their oh so clever takedown. It's nearly as bad as 'Did you mean to be so rude' 😬

Another one that seems to be gaining momentum is starting a reply with 'Gently/Respectfully/Kindly...' then launching into a post that's anything but. So irritating.

Having to canvas opinion on whether they’ve should be offended or not…

‘Divorce him’ echoed multiple times by many random strangers who only know the tiniest crumb about the relationship.
whatever happened to trying to figure things out?

I've got a friend who insisted on the kids having her surname because partner wouldn't marry her! Not sure if she's on MN, but 20 years later the kids still have her surname and she and partner are together but still not married.

Having the heating on the second the temperature drops a degree and being in bed by 8pm every evening.

Yes yes @Andoutcomethewolves and @BadLad - these ones drive me mad, I also imagine the smug faces!

In a similar vein, when something goes wrong with a poster's trip and it is implied that either they don't have travel insurance or insurance won't cover it, there are always multiple responses like "what did your travel insurance provider say?" Etc. This is usually an opportunity to lecture the OP on the importance of travel insurance, which presumably they know by this point.

The "shoes off in the house" threads, bring out the popcorn and bingo card. According to one poster, it's a "global standard" that everyone takes shoes off.

"Why don't you just Google it, instead of asking strangers on MN?"
Here is why some people don't want to "just Google it": you get a perspective from somebody who might have actual experience of the situation being asked about, instead of the stock answers that Google might bring up. And if the question is about how good a product is, everyone knows that reviews might not be genuine.

If you don't give your teenager £50 a week pocket money, plus £5 for lunch, plus chauffeur them to multiple activities daily them yu are a Bad Parent as that what teenagers cost.

"DH has been out of the house every second he can get away, treats me like a malfunctioning domestic appliance and we haven't had sex for 5 months. We were really happy together until he went on a work jolly 5 months ago, bought a ton of new clothes and started getting into shape. I felt something was off so I looked at his messages. He's having an affair with a colleague 😭"

Cue 740 increasingly angry replies: "YOU LOOKED AT HIS PHONE? YOU'RE AN ABUSER, NO WONDER HE HATES YOU!"
Interspersed with approx 136 of "He's getting fit! You should be delighted, don't you want him to live a long and healthy life? You controlling bully 😡"

I gotta say, there are TONS of narcissists out there, i think it’s a lot more common than people realize. And they do follow fairly predictable scripts and rely on the same toolbox of tactics. Also, if you grew up with a narcissist parent you tend to be a magnet for people with this disorder which probably explains why some people get more of their fair share

"Dollops" of things, specifically Greek yoghurt (always full fat) , hummus, or tzatziki.

<shudders>

Long walks with the kids, then home for ‘hot choc’ whilst snuggling under a blanket on the sofa watching a movie…

This thread has made me love MN a little bit more!

'Leave the bastard' if he has the audacity to work long hours or want a social life.

Buzz words if you don't agree I.e 'misery shaming, toxic masculinity and others'

How many narcissistic MILs there are out there

🤣

Ah I see what you did there...
But maybe that's just me (sorry couldn't resist, I'll get me coat)

Complaining about people not naming outing hobbies. I’m sure it’s more common than people not naming an outing hobby.

Giving very questionable fashion advice!

Flowery dresses in all shades seems to be the go to advice! Anyone with actual fashion sense is shut down.