What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

Sending kids to private school then telling everyone else that they can't afford it unless their combined salaries are at least £300k.

Competitive misery alongside Competitive under eeating.

The "I don't understand" when people are doing nice things just purely because they're things commoners do.

Joules and boden.

A recent one has annoyed me hugely. Why do parents refuse to top up their student child's loan? Because we can't afford to?? Well, we've been saving since he was a sperm, no holidays, no food, and live in a box to make sure we can pay their full accomodation costs and give him £500 a week.

Yep, I am clearly a useless parent who doesn't want to help - or possibly a normal person on a low income with outgoings.

Not knowing anyone "in their circle" who had a child under the age of 40, anything younger is practically a teenage pregnancy! Ok I exaggerate, but does make me smile just how small some of these supposed worldly circles are.

Sending kids to private school then telling everyone else that they can't afford it unless their combined salaries are at least £300k.

Whilst simultaneously daily whinging that a 20% rise is going to break the bank of the majority of private school parents.

Inviting/commanding one to wobble one's head

Velvetisers

Seasalt Janelle

Yes, but don’t you find chunky, mill girl boots just go with everything! 🤔

‘Gently’ and ‘kindly’ are so smug and fake. They should just own their nastiness.

Having the house like a sauna year round, doing 18 loads of tumble drying every day, then querying a massive electricity bill because "there's only 4 of us in a 7 bedroom house".

When someone posts a mysterious “person A” and “person B” thread to describe a situation and nobody can understand which person in the story is A and which is B.

Cue at least six replies with variances of “OP, please don’t use this A/B scenario, it’s very hard to read along and grasp who did what. It puts me off reading the post entirely”.

I do agree that those threads are a pain in the arse, but the outrage is better. 🤣

The post the other day about someone getting genuinely excited to plan her "Christmas wrapping theme".... honestly thought it was a piss take! Nope.

This could be me. I love wrapping presents. And I do use a theme!

People who write out a suggested reply/communication to a very straightforward problem like they're some kind of savant, eg "I'm sorry Jacinta can't attend Peony's birthday party at such short notice, I hope she has a lovely day."

En suite bathrooms being ‘grim.’

In fact any scenario where people pass solids within 40m of a bed.

Don’t these people own doors?

@Jellycatspyjamas to be fair that's usually because the ask is pretty stupid "how do I tell my ex colleague who I've not seen in 5 years I won't be going to their wedding?" like they are needing to negotiate a peace deal in the Middle East, I genuinely don't know how some posters function in the wild with some of the questions that get asked on this site.

Apparently there is only ever one person in the whole of the UK with these particular hobbies and everyone in the country knows who they are. 😅😂

I had never realised that Deep Cleaning was a ‘thing’ ! I had always associated it with operating theatres.

A complete inability to wrap one’s head around Scottish or Irish names, instead recommending things like Maude and Cecil.

Some of the most heinous fashion advice I’ve ever seen.

Anything more than quarterly visits to parents and ILs means you’re ‘enmeshed’.

’Posh chocs’

If you are a woman with children and remarry, your new husbands entire extended family must treat your children with your ex as if they where fathered by your new husband and immediately add them to all the wills etc

if you are a man with children and remarry, your new wife can’t even look at the kids let alone try and parent them.

"I just want to stay at home all the time am I boring"

Not giving your children your partner's surname under any circumstance!

I need to buy a present for a 47 year old very good friend.

With no other information.

Assuming everyone lives in England (specifically the south)

"This is fake because it's not school holidays yet" and the like!

The belief that all men are sleazy and into porn 🤣