What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

Oh! And getting really offended by fairly gentle jokes. No doubt there will be some in a minute. My money's on the Trans comment upthread!

Women putting up a picture asking how old people think they are, somehow expecting to be told they’re younger, get completely trolled and and then get upset because everyone’s said 50 when they’re 35.

Women who are ‘SAHMs’ but their kids are both at secondary school, they have a cleaner and a gardener, so basically do fuck all apart from the food shop, and complain about their husbands for something or another.

Grandmas who seem to think they have a rights or a say over their grandchildren, think the mothers are hysterical/ have mental health issues/ suggest mothers should go to the GP for anxiety because they won’t let poor grandma take a 2 week old baby down to her lunch club to show off like a doll.

Hating big weddings and claiming that theirs cost £3.75 and all of their guests said it was the best they’d ever been to.

“It’s still talked of to this day”. Yeah - by you, to your husband. And even he’s bored shitless with it.

Serving lashings of things on a bed of other things.

Everyone and everything is VILE on Mumsnet. God, how I have come to hate that word.

People asking how people afford holidays/nights out/moving house blah blah as though there are no differences in wages or people onky have 1 child or none.

Absolute alcoholic if you have more than a bottle of wine on a rare night out.

Quoting...'this'

Haha. Nailed it! 😁

Teaching women to spot abuse

Parking diagrams

Line eyes

I have a normal but slightly awkward social problem. What shall I dooooo?

The food threads!
All the posters who insist they survive on half a salad a day and could never so much as look at anything resembling junk food.
And the insistence that we all should be eating our body weight in protein everday and that if you ever have even a nibble of a ‘upf’ it’s a disaster

Should I wax or shave my bikini line for my beach holiday with my hot new boyfriend as it's down to my knees?

You should leave it down to your knees because you are being oppressed by the PATRIARCHY! Oh and grow your armpit hair to match.

Women who wash their bras after wearing them just once!

Not leaving their baby to have a wee or a shower.

The obsession with slings. My favourite was when someone said her baby doesn't like slings, she got told she must be doing it wrong because all babies love slings.

If someone disagrees with them, they are a man just pretending to be a woman.

Low standards when it comes to men and falling over to make excuses for them.

Everyone being jealous of SAHM's. Even those who work by choice.

Everyone is LIVID. Not livid but LIVID.

MIL/PIL/someone above the age of 30 does something slightly out of the ordinary. MN: 'are you sure they don't have early onset dementia?'

'Pots' and 'Toms' (potatoes and tomatoes). I have never heard anyone say this in real life or even on a text/WhatsApp.

🤣🤣🤣 The French thing is spot on! Everyone either holidays there, has a French husband or lives there.

“Curl up with a book”

🤢

I wish I could send little Roddledick to private school but I'm a waitress on the minimum wage.

No problem! You just need to scrimp and save and make sacrifices!

‘If you are 9,ft 7 and wear a size 2 how much do you weigh?’

Every person who acts like a dick could be ND. Well, yes they could but sometimes (most of the time?) people are just dicks and we should be allowed to call them out on it or bitch to strangers on the internet about it.

ADHD as a potential cause for literally any behaviour

Copying and pasting the ENTIRE long OP (that we've all just already read on the thread), with a one line answer.

Not using spellchecker or at least making sure a post makes some kind of readable sense

'Are you saying that I'm 🤬-' when the replier really isn't.

Posting a very unreasonable POV eg MIL has declined to give me hours of free child care this week because baby has a cold and she doesn't want other grandchild or herself to catch it, demanding AIBU then getting defensive when she's informed she is in fact BU.

Lobbing a LTB when a sensible adult conversation could be a feasible next move instead.

When it's a woman secretly planning to leave her husband she's supported and advised to get the ducks in a row etc - but when a woman posts that she's realised he's secretly planning to leave her, he's the bastard

😂

Toilet brushes and 10 showers a day

Worrying about the cost of living when your household inome is £250k a year

Refusing to take a parcel for a neighbour

Refusing to answer the door if someone knocks or rings

And agree with double standards

And Canada being described as some kind of Utopia. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s generally lovely, but it’s also the second largest country on the planet; it combines vast and diverse barely inhabited areas at one extreme and major metropolitan cities at the other. Surely some bits are shitholes, like in any other country?

I hate how any man who posts, confirms that he is a man but wishes to get a female perspective relating to his female partner is instantly treated like something that crawled out of a drain.

”Hi everyone, I’m a 28 year old man and I’ve been with my partner for four years. She’s pregnant and I’d like to book her a relaxing spa day near Wolverhampton. Any recommendations?”

“oh look, another point scoring exercise, no doubt to benefit you. Do you want her out of the house so you can have another woman over? Does she want this spa day? Do you think she is someone unable to book one if she wants one? Clearly she has no autonomy and I hope she finds the courage to leave you. Reported this thread and your account.”

The utter hatred for fairly normal things like
Evening only wedding invite for extended family or workmates ( after a small family wedding)
or even worse Destination weddings
Baby showers
Adult birthday parties
Multigenerational family holidays

in the real world people would either say “ thanks for the invite I’d love to come” or privately think it’s not my thing at all / would be too complicated to manage and send a polite “sorry we won’t be able to attend message”. No drama but in MN land a 15 page series of complaints about people demanding others attend venues in Outer Mongolia with 5 days trek on a yak and posters making ridiculous suggestions of messages to send.