What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

Ah yes! In every interaction, the OP has always calmly said, or politely pointed out.

Recognise all these.

Sometimes I think there might be a dozen very committed posters who jump on every thread so predictable and consistent are the replies.

Or it’s a kind of weird group think.

Or, there’s an elite group of posters playing some kind of twisted Mumsnet Bingo? 😂

@Kibble29 Well there was the poster who Snapped and Farted.. does that count?

If a man goes out for a drink and gets home about 11, he 'got in at 11pm'.

Any later than 11pm and he 'waltzed' in.

What is it about getting home late that prompts all these dance moves?

Did everyone marry Len Goodman? 🤣🤣

The clothes threads. There's no fucking way the fake high earners are walking round in those hideous sack dresses they recommend when someone needs a dress for an event

The way people say 'utterly' all the time just wtf

The hate of vaping makes me laugh every time

Go on the Freedom Programme
Go to therapy
Lots of neurodivergent DCs

Advising to go low contact or no contact at even the slightest transgression. Most people I know just have a moan at a friend and then get on with it.
Group holidays where no one really wants to go
Picky bits . Ugh . NEVER heard this before MN
Calculating every Xmas gift cost
Kids birthday party drama

I shall settle down with a cup of tea to enjoy that thread after work tomorrow, thank you x

Poster: "I am not British"...followed by slagging off something Brits do/don't do.

Some MNetters: "Which country are you from then?"

Poster: "I cannot say as it's outing". 🙄

Some other MNetters: "OMG it's so rude to ask where they're from. What has it got to do with YOU???????"

Everyone washes all towels & bedding daily & air dries. Even for a family of 4 in an average semi. They all change PJs daily too and take 7 pairs of PJs on a weeks holiday. They iron all these things too along with all their DC clothes.

No money, DH gone off with the OW, 5 kids, live in a tower block with a broken lift..

Have you thought about starting your own business?

Ive not got any wrinkles, people think I'm 40, but really Im 60.
Having a giggle.
What colour are my eyes and do I suit this dress (wants to hear you've got a fantastic figure)

You could take in some ironing.

@CheeseWisely 😂

🤣🤣🤣

Have you considered a lodger?

This made me laugh. I was working at a teenage mental health Center and thought FTM only meant female to male. Was briefly very confused by the number of transitioning people on the pregnancy board…

Didn't you realise he was a cheater before you married him?
Why did you have kids with him?
Do you always make such bad decisions?

BOUNDARIES..absolutely hate that expression..fine ,if talking about land but otherwise I 🤦‍♀️

Oh God, "autumn bits" is truly a horrible turn of phrase.

Pretending it’s “incredibly confusing” if an OP uses “they” instead of he or she to refer to someone. “I just don’t understaaaaaaand, are you talking about multiple people?!” Like fuck you don’t understand.

“Wild”. As in “This thread is wild. Surely everyone knows that XYZ?” or “It’s wild that you think this is a normal reaction”. I’ve never heard anyone use the expression in real life - and if I did, I would expect it to be in the context of something genuinely shocking or extreme.

Suggesting that reacting angrily to bad behaviour is just as bad or somehow worse than the original behaviour. “Okay, so your friend tried to stab you, but you didn’t exactly cover yourself in glory by pushing her away and knocking her over. What if she had fallen onto her knife? You’re as bad as she is”.

Asking if your salary is “okay”. Are you surviving on it? If so, it’s okay. You don’t need Mumsnet’s permission if you’d like to apply for a better paid job.

Weirdly early, detailed and obsessive threads about Christmas. I'm not even fully sure what they're about, but they come with a lot of rules attached... presumably the rules mean something to those In The Know.

This , I never realised how manky I was😆
And they are never washing underwear or tea towels with any of it, or together.

Never sure what is supposed to happen if you do. Given that I never do any of those things and have always been robustly healthy.

I was crying and shaking.
My child is gifted, he is only 4 and drew THIS!
My kid is 36 and wants an iphone AIBU to say no.
CF parking, here is a diagram
My neighbour cut my tree
What is this rash
My mother in law gave my child a Freddo
Workman used my toilet
I feel dumpy/frumpy/haggy/saggy
My teenager ate my chocolates
I made a Spag Bil with 56g of mince and it fed a family of 8 for a week
Looking for slimming linen trousers
MIL will not cancel her holiday to mind my kids
Not invited to the whole wedding
Sis in law stole my name
I have been ghosted
I gentle parent
Can I bring my 5 kids, my granny and my dog to a child’s birthday party

Hating big weddings and claiming that theirs cost £3.75 and all of their guests said it was the best they’d ever been to.

A relentless obsession with early onset dementia, peri menopause, and the French.

I've enjoyed this thread, but think that this is a bad example of the genre. Have you ever been in this situation? It's frightening to have a man sceam at you and call you names. I'm always overwhelmed by a strong instinct to keep things calm and de-escalate, like you would when confronted with a raging savage beast in the wilderness. I really do calmly and politely say "don't swear at me please", "it's not kind to shout". What else is there to do? Scream back, and risk being thrown into a wall or having your jaw broken?

It's also very important to have a clear narrative you can refer to. If you shout back, it becomes "an argument". If you stick to civilities, it's harder to lose sightof the fact that this is man who verbally abuses you. That narrative can make all the difference in the world, both to yourself and to the stories that get told to others.