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Original poster

How the heck are we supposed to sleep if newborn won’t go in a crib?

304 replies

PBQ123 · 19/09/2024 01:23

I’ve been awake for coming up to 48 hours straight now. Newborn won’t go into a crib. Will stay there for ten mins then cry. Swaddling doesn’t work. So only option is to hold to sleep. We are so tired neither of us can be trusted to do this without falling asleep ourselves. I am EBF but this isn’t going to work is it. What are you supposed to do? Naively bought a Next to Me and Moses basket assuming baby would be happy to go in them. We haven’t even left the hospital yet though and it’s clear they were a waste of money.

OP posts:
delilabell · 19/09/2024 01:28

Give her time. 48 hours is very new still.
I really feel for you, I think it's still unfair that you've gone through some if the worst pain imaginable and then get handed a tiny human who's completely dependent on you.
Can you ask the hospital for advice,?
Also it might be worth reading about the 4th trimester.
Sending you lots of love and congratulations!

Bristolnewcomer · 19/09/2024 01:30

The hospital is noisy and bright, things might well be different when you get home. Mine was like that, up every 10 mins in the hospital but actually slept well (for a newborn) once home, in the Moses basket. Don’t despair. Speak to the midwives - in some hospitals they may watch the baby for you so you can get at least an hour’s sleep maybe more.

Pickled21 · 19/09/2024 01:38

First of all congratulations. Secondly if you are still in hospital ask the midwives to take baby overnight so you can get some rest. They will bring baby back to you for a feed. This will allow you to get some much needed rest.

Once home you can work on using the next to me crib for every nap or moses basket and get tips from family , friends, hv etc. Baby is only 2 days old, just because they are not sleeping much in the cot in hospital doesn't mean they won't at home.

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DryBiscuit · 19/09/2024 01:38

Can your partner go home to sleep and then come in the next day and hold baby while you sleep???

Sleepydoor · 19/09/2024 01:40

My first piece of advice is that if you haven't left the hospital -- hand the baby to a nurse and get 3 hours of sleep. Right now.

Second piece of advice -- if this is your first baby, there is no reason you are both so sleep deprived you can't trust yourselves to hold the baby. One of you sleeps for a decent amount of time and then you tag team to hold the baby.

Thirdly, maybe you have to try co-sleeping. To do it safely, it should be the with mom, baby on mom's side of the bed (not in between parents), flat mattress, no comforter or pillows anywhere near baby, co-sleeper bedside bassinet open to mom ideally and baby either breastfed to sleep or close to mom.

Good luck! There's a reason new parents talk about severe sleep deprivation...

PinaOcado · 19/09/2024 01:42

Agree, you need to take turns to sleep. It's early days, everything will settle.

Deliiciousllydifffident · 19/09/2024 01:43

It will all be better when you get home. Your baby will quickly learn to settle in her Moses basket, close to you. Please do not be tempted to let her sleep on you, or in your arms. That isn’t safe. Get her into a routine, where she can safely settle. Remember, babies cry a lot, they are experts at it. I wish someone had told me that with my first. He was a cryer and we drove ourselves nuts faffing about with him.

Anyway, massive congratulations on the birth. It will all get better at home. 💐

Tiredmamma357 · 19/09/2024 01:45

Ask the hospital to help. Partner should go home and get some sleep for when you come home to help take over. If your not adverse to a one off bottle feed then let the nurse give baby a bottle and get some sleep. Tell them you are falling asleep with baby on you. They will help. It isn't easy but soon baby will settle xx

Original poster
PBQ123 · 19/09/2024 02:05

Thank you so much all. I’ve just burst out crying because I think the worst aspect of it all is the inconsideration from the other mums. Lights on all night long, talking to their family on speaker phone from 1:30-3am, gossiping about utter shite in another cubicle until 1:45am. The midwives are aware and I wasn’t the only one to mention it this morning but it’s awful. They’re doing nothing to stop it.

OP posts:
DryBiscuit · 19/09/2024 02:07

Send your partner home to sleep
Then tag team to sleep

LimeSqueezy · 19/09/2024 02:13

Being in hospital is shit and you don't get any rest. To some extent you have to accept that. This isn't what it will be like at home. Will you be able to go home soon? I agree send your partner home to rest so that you can do the same when you are able to.

Cinai2 · 19/09/2024 02:14

Hi! I was in this situation just 4 days ago and thought how the hell will I survive…I’m now at home with my 5-days-old and yes, I’m awake at this time of the night, but honestly it’s lovely. I haven’t slept for more than a couple of hours since he was born and I never thought it’s possible, but we adapt. Being at home is much easier, there are no other people who disturb you. You’ll catch a rest here and there, take turns with your partner and it will all work out!

Crowsandbadgers · 19/09/2024 02:48

Hospital to help? I asked a nurse for a glass of water at 2am (breastfeeding new born twins), the look of disgust she gave me was incredible. ‘Just this once’ was her reply.

Yes I complained about numerous incidents. All upheld. I’ve heard it’s still just as bad.

Op you may find it’s far better at home. Alternatively safely cosleep. Worked well for me with breastfed twins.

Thack · 19/09/2024 02:51

There's a 'second night' syndrome, where babies are fussy on their second night. You've just passed through that which is hard going.

Co sleeping is great. Read up on the lullaby trust website.

I've not had experience in it, but I know of cranial osteopaths being helpful when babies can't lie down. How was the birth? Hopefully someone here can advise on that front.

coxesorangepippin · 19/09/2024 02:54

Secondly if you are still in hospital ask the midwives to take baby overnight so you can get some rest

^

Does this actually happen?!?!

Applesandpears23 · 19/09/2024 02:56

The post natal ward is total hell. You will do better at home. Focus on getting out of there. In the day tomorrow get someone you trust to visit and hold baby then put on ear plugs and an eye mask and sleep as much as you can.

Blablasheep · 19/09/2024 02:56

Just a different perspective, is your baby hungry?
My firstborn didn't sleep properly for 5 days, crying all the time. Finally gave her a bottle, she calmed down immediately and went to sleep. She wasn't getting enough/any milk.

All the best!

TwigTheWonderKid · 19/09/2024 03:16

OP why are you still in hospital? If no problem with you or baby you can discharge yourself and go home.

GiddyRobin · 19/09/2024 03:18

Hospital with a newborn is a fucking nightmare.

When you get home, safely bedsharing is an option. I did it with both of mine. Have a look on the Lullaby Trust website for the safe sleep guidelines. Don't worry, you will sleep again!

PiggieWig · 19/09/2024 03:27

Are you and baby fit and well? Things will likely improve at home but some babies (mine) won’t be put down at first.
Look up Lullaby Trust’s safe sleeping guidelines in case you do find yourself cosleeping but chances are you will find a way at home.
It’s very early days and the ward sounds awful.

Cantsleeper · 19/09/2024 03:33

My daughter inspired my username (and is why I’m replying to you at 3 am), I feel your pain 😭 when she was a newborn I coslept with her, following the safe sleep 7 guidelines. She decided her cot was acceptable when she was a few weeks old. I remember crying on the ward because I hadn’t slept since my (long) labour started and every time I almost dropped off one baby or another would start crying and inevitably set them all off, it was awful.

I’ve found white noise to be very helpful, I got a wee machine off Amazon and it’s currently whizzing away as I try to feed her back to sleep!

Cluster feeding is very common and normal for the first few days/weeks, you might think she’s not getting enough food but it’s all to build your supply.

Congratulations on your baby and well done, birth (whichever way it happens) is so exhausting mentally and physically, it feels cruel to then have to immediately take care of this helpless creature instead of being allowed to sleep for two days straight!

Justalittlenaughty · 19/09/2024 03:35

Pickled21 · 19/09/2024 01:38

First of all congratulations. Secondly if you are still in hospital ask the midwives to take baby overnight so you can get some rest. They will bring baby back to you for a feed. This will allow you to get some much needed rest.

Once home you can work on using the next to me crib for every nap or moses basket and get tips from family , friends, hv etc. Baby is only 2 days old, just because they are not sleeping much in the cot in hospital doesn't mean they won't at home.

Edited

Like the midwives don't have anything else to do! 😆🧐

Those days are long gone!

CuriousGeorge80 · 19/09/2024 03:48

If you are still in hospital then your partner needs to go home, go to sleep, and then come back and take baby so you can sleep. Honestly in the early days the only way to get through is to divide and conquer so between you you can both sleep. Then get yourself home as soon as you can as being at home will help, you can control noise and light then (for all of you!)

Good luck - you will be fine but it’s hard in the early days so just make sure baby is safe and then sleep whenever possible!

Nat6999 · 19/09/2024 03:55

Ds was awake all night for the 4 nights we were in hospital, I was so sleep deprived, had been awake for 2 nights in labour, then 2 nights on High Dependency when I was very poorly afterwards & was woken every hour for obs. I had a massive meltdown the last morning when I had finally dropped off at 5.00am only to be woken at 6.00 for drugs & obs, I flipped & gave the midwife a mouthful before deciding to discharge myself & went home to sleep in my own bed. When I got home I found that ds slept better in his bouncy chair, so we just put him in that in his cot for at least the first month & tag teamed the feeds between exh & me.

Poopdetective · 19/09/2024 03:56

I think firstly don’t write off the next to me and Moses basket. Both of mine loved the Moses but didn’t like the next to me until they were bigger (8 weeks ish)

My first wouldn’t sleep at the hospital and it transpired my milk supply was very low. Are you able to express?

Things will be better at home and (unless you really need to be in) hospitals with newborns are awful.

i share your frustration about other people. Both times I had women FaceTiming family in the middle of the night (I assume overseas hence the overnight calls). Staff at one of the hospitals did try to tell them to keep it down but the no avail. Ditto large numbers of visitors outside of visiting hours.