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Original poster

How the heck are we supposed to sleep if newborn won’t go in a crib?

304 replies

PBQ123 · 19/09/2024 01:23

I’ve been awake for coming up to 48 hours straight now. Newborn won’t go into a crib. Will stay there for ten mins then cry. Swaddling doesn’t work. So only option is to hold to sleep. We are so tired neither of us can be trusted to do this without falling asleep ourselves. I am EBF but this isn’t going to work is it. What are you supposed to do? Naively bought a Next to Me and Moses basket assuming baby would be happy to go in them. We haven’t even left the hospital yet though and it’s clear they were a waste of money.

OP posts:
MummyJ36 · 18/01/2025 22:29

My DC1 was never one for napping in general but especially not on their own. It was a very tiring introduction to parenthood!! We didn’t end up co-sleeping at night as I’m such an incredibly deep sleeper I just knew I wouldn’t be responsive enough through the night (I slept through a literal earthquake once!). However DC1 slept in our room until they were a solid 10 months and it was totally fine. I really missed them when they went in their own room! So please don’t feel any pressure to move them out at 6 months, or even out of your bed if it is genuinely working for you, it’s so important to do what is best for all parties and there is no rush 😊 xxxx

ladycarlotta · 19/01/2025 04:34

PBQ123 · 18/01/2025 21:29

Just going through some old opened tabs on my phone and came across this one so I thought I’d update!

DS is four months now. He has never taken to the Snuzpod. He will now go in the Moses basket but only awake! So I can pop him in it to make a cup of tea. All naps have been contact naps, although he will sleep in the pram if we’re out walking or in a shopping centre.

It used to frustrate me so much when people mentioned the fourth trimester as ALL babies need this but clearly not all babies need to sleep on their caregivers!

Co-sleeping has been great for us. No, DS isn’t sleeping for two blocks of six hours in one go like the babies of my antenatal group, BUT because I was able to master feeding lying down it means I don’t need to get out of bed and wake myself up for 40 mins feeding him. So, swings and roundabouts.

It’s been really hard at times not being able to put DS down, some days I wasn’t even able to get dressed or make lunch because I was nap trapped and unable to even put him down anywhere when he was awake.

Going forward, DH and I can’t see DS popping off into his own room in two months’ time 😂 so we’re not quite sure how to take co-sleeping forward once DS is able to roll etc…

I would love to be able to put DS down in the Moses for some naps but absolutely no chance as his eyes fly wide awake if I even deign to try! Ah well. The cuddles are lovely 😊

Glad to read your update! I've thought of you these last few months, you sounded distraught in your first posts.

It's so good that co sleeping is working for you. I know it's horrendous in some ways when you have a baby who constantly wants to be on you but it's also a lovely season if you can lean into it as you have. My first had all her naps on us, either in sling or on the sofa, and in hindsight I'm really glad we were able to do that for her. It's probably contributed to the independent, happy little girl she is now.

My second (15 weeks now) loves a cuddle but is eerily happy in her pram or side sleeper. She is that mythical baby who will gladly be put down "drowsy but awake". I mean I assumed they must exist but based on my experience with DD1 did not think I'd have one myself.

I don't want to say any nonsense like "ooh you'll miss it when it's gone" because some phases are just tough. And often what's lovely in small doses is just overwhelming when it's your life. But I do miss my velcro baby sometimes.

101Nutella · 19/01/2025 10:22

I have a bed bumper with a mesh panel for breathing. I also have a low bed (just happened that way) so any roll off is not as bad as it could be.

we had exactly the same as you and it was just survival and figuring things out. Ours had silent reflux so didn’t like being flat and also just a fomo baby! Wanted to be with us. Wearing a sling helped coz I could walk about doing things. The Babybjorn chair is a good position for babies who only want to be on you- mine hated all other chairs. So I used that I put them in so I could shower. It’s used from birth. Also got infant gaviscon for before bedtime.

i just wanted to say we had the same situation, people who haven’t been in it don’t understand. They assume you’ve done something wrong or haven’t tried enough. What I would say is now mine is a toddler it is SO MUCH EASIER! And the people I know who found baby time easier have struggled now so it’s swings and round abouts. We still co sleep when there is a tooth or illness or leap. But we’re used to it so all set up and we get good sleep.

We have such a happy kid now, who can sleep solo in a cot and does do 7 hour stretches. It just took time and built up, which is completely normal. But hard to survive!

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wishIwasonaBeach · 20/01/2025 13:17

So nice to have an update OP!

We were very similar to you. DD would never go down on her own when she was tiny. First 6 months she'd only sleep in the pram/car (but that was great for losing the baby weight). About 10 months-ish she'd contact nap and then that was it until she was about 18 months. Now she'll nap independently and we are only just cracking nights. Every baby is different and I never thought I'd co-sleep but I think it's easier working with and not againt your little one plus, they're only small once and it's such a short amount of time! Lots of love to you and for your journey xxx

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