Anyone else struggling to find meaning in life and wondering what it's all about?

[Mumonceremoved]

Middle aged and generally just wondering what the point of it all is.

Why are we here?
What's the meaning of life?
What even is happiness?

Anyone else just feeling meh about the day to day drudgery and futility of it all?

Or if you did feel this way, how did you manage to snap out of it?

Is it normal?

OK I will respect this and bow out of this thread. Thank you to everyone who engaged anyway. Take care.

I don't believe life has a meaning. But life can be meaningful.

Most people don't get to do enough of what makes them happy. Unless you love your work or don't need to work and have the means to do as you fancy.

Carve out more time around the drudgery of work for things you enjoy and say no to things and people you don't like that aren't essential.

I'm trying to raise my child to embrace all the things they enjoy about life as much as possible and say no (within reason) to what's not essential. I hope they'll find life more pleasurable as a result. I'd probably benefit from doing the same but it's a tricky balance managing a household of needs and wants 😂

OMG this!!!

The absolute absurdity of it all!!!

I just fucking can't anymore ....

I get that, I have fleeting moments of it but then have to shake myself to pull back to reality for my sanity 😞

Whose actually insane though?

Those who think that shit actually matters who those who realise none of it matters?

Eh? Tone deaf? The op asked what made us snap out of it and I answered truthfully about gratitude. A lot of posters have says the same. Weeding is a well know form of stress relief. I was not a happy person naturally and I learned the art of gratitude in small things. I thought my contribution was valid. No need to be horrible.

I can relate to this a lot. I have had so much trauma in my life and feel like I have crawled between one loss or hard event to the next.
I am slowly learning not to look for meaning in everything and to accept the way life is. And in that acceptance I am finding freedom.

Because of the level of trauma I’ve had, I’ve lived for years in constant fight/flight/freeze and the feeling of being relaxed or happy has been terrifying for me as it is so unusual.
Gradually I’m being more able to tolerate a feeling of peace for a few moments when I drink good coffee or to just notice the sand under my feet or the softness of my pillow at night. These moments are getting longer and I’m starting to find more of them. I even find I look forward to some of these moments. They were described to me as glimmers.

Maybe one day I’ll feel joy and happiness but for now, it is just really nice to find some sense of peace and calm for a few moments in a day and to accept that life will do its thing and I have no control over that.

I think society is insane. I feel trapped by it. And it's getting more complex.

For example, when I started my job (only 20 years ago!), I went to the office and looked at my calendar, got some files out of the cabinet that I needed to read, made some calls, wrote some letters, went home.
Now just to 'access' my work I have to jump through 4 different encrypted authorisation points before I even do anything productive. I have 4 different emails addresses for various organisations. Each school has an app (3 different schools) to look at.

That's before I've 'done' anything useful with my day. Most of which is not actually useful, and it's boring.

I feel completely disconnected from all the processes I go through to get through the day in order to get paid, to feed my family, to be a 'good' (acceptable in society) parent. It feels inauthentic and flat.

This resonates with me deeply. Maybe it is the calm and peace I'm struggling with.

Also, I guess after having years in fight or flight, where survival was all that mattered, I never really ever once thought deeply about life and the whys of it all.

Maybe it's just hitting me all at once.

A combination of age, coming out of survival mode, empty nest and some losses.

Maybe it's a new dawn. But maybe it's just another era of hell, wrapped differently.

Who knows?

I’ve felt like this a lot. Even my children ask this.

The best thing I can come up with is life is hard, but it’s a game. Just like the video games they play on the Xbox, you get out of it what you put into it. It doesn’t get easier but you get better at it with practice and the better you get at it, the more enjoyable it is. There’s so much to explore and take part in but you need to do certain hard things to collect “points” that you can spend on the things you want to make the game better.

Yes, most comments resonate with me.
Very "lucky" in many ways, middle aged.
Not depressed.
If there was a choice, I would have told my (abusive) parents to fuck off with the gift of life.
🙂

You know what @Screamingabdabz you're quite right and I apologise . I have been awake since about 4am stressing about various things and I was snippy.

I just got frustrated though. Sometimes people just want to vent and not be told the equivalent of 'smile love, it'll never happen'.

@Veggielove84
OK I will respect this and bow out of this thread. Thank you to everyone who engaged anyway. Take care

I'll assume that you don't have an answer. I've asked a lot of people with religious belief the same question, but they've all backed out without answering it. It must make life so much easier, having a permanent 'father' to rely and depend upon, and just obey, rather than having morals you set for yourself.

Yeh inauthentic and flat is a good way of describing it.

Life is hard. We have somehow managed to remove the fun and increase the misery.

We are doing life all wrong.

I think it does make life lot easier if you have faith. It also brings with it a whole community which is also very beneficial to mental health.

I've always been jealous of those who can bring themselves to believe in an unproven diety.

We sometimes go out for a drive and a cuppa on a weekend..I try and do that regularly. I also managed a meal out at the weekend, even though being in busy restaurants can be ‘triggering’ in terms of sensory overload and that then causes pain, headaches etc. I sort of have to put on a mask while there, if affected, but I do feel better once I’ve been. Like I’ve accomplished something. I love being in nature too, but because of the weather, haven’t managed to get out that often recently. I have a mobility scooter for ‘walking’ though so looking forward to getting that out when it’s a bit nicer here.

I do have support..my husband and kids are here, though my husband works a lot so it means I do too much really, which of course then has a negative effect on my energy and capabilities. My husband has also taken up more exercise because of health reasons, which is good for him but a bit crap for me because I feel a bit left out…because in my head I want to join him but my body has other plans!!😩

I used to enjoy sewing but it’s on the back burner at the minute as I’m in a bit of a rut. I think I’m also going to try the Rest, Repair, Recover programme and see if that helps any.

Pain and illness are the pits at times so I’m pleased you’ve found things that help you. 💞

I have felt like this since I was a child. What helps me is to tap into moments that did feel very life affirming. For me, the births of my children, which brought some overwhelming sense of peace (if fleeting!). I used to feel a lot of anguish about being a good parent and used to wonder what the point really was when my kids were just condemned to live a pointless life, anyway.

This sounds very cheesy but I was saw a post on Mumsnet where a poster referred to her recently deceased mother as 'my lovely mum'. I wouldn't refer to my mum that way, but I really felt in that moment that I would happy enough with that as a 'legacy'. So I strive to be that mother whilst also trying to create some positive moments just for myself (so I don't solely live for my children but...mostly!) because I really don't think there is much else.

Why are we here? Same reason as other animals. To perpetuate then die.

I really don’t believe it’s any deeper than that. Just enjoy the ride as best you can.

I really agree @Mumonceremoved that we've dialled down the fun and life has just become more of a grind.

I have five close friends; two of us are medicated to cope, one should be (that's me), one is being treated like shit at work, and one is stretched unbelievably thin as a single parent and carer to her father.

I honestly think something needs to change before one of us kicks the bucket through stress; working out how to switch gears or careers without money behind me is impossible though. I've resorted to the lottery, no kidding, in desperation.

This is my problem, I have no purpose without my children.

I started chanting a Buddhist mantra Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo out of curiosity. I saw the results and took it from there. Fast forward 12 years - I have retrained and I now have a great well-paying job that I am passionate about. My Buddhist faith gave me the courage to change direction and the wisdom to get through a very challenging course mid-life. My life now has a meaning, I literally want to work till I drop dead. Buddhist solutions could be adapted to any life challenge. You can find more about Buddhism and Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo on SGI-UK website

Literally had the same thought the other day about the lottery.

I think I'd buy a campervan and go far away for a while ...

I don't either! I not going to cure cancer or anything but most of us aren't.

I really think the modern narrative around motherhood is so negative. There's a lot of focus on not 'losing yourself' and the daily grind, but taking a step back my children have brought me more joy and more laughter than anything else ever has. What's wrong with living for your family? I say that as FT working mum, not some stepford wife.

Enjoy every minute with them!! Ignore anyone who tells you to do any different. Lose yourself in them and feel no negativity about enjoying that!!

If I could, I would 100%

No I don't enjoy every minute! But on a macro level they are a net positive. And often challenging things are the things that give us the most satisfaction in the end.

Life is hard but they are the only glimmer of hope I can find, I suppose!