This is another porn thing, isn’t it?

[Nastra]

It’s not a problem really but it made me wonder because it was weird.
I believe my DP and I are generally fairly open with one another. I don’t mind if he initiates something while I am asleep and vice versa because we both wake up and only engage if in the mood. A while ago he asked me could I pretend to be asleep while he did things. I was ok trying it but it was actually just weird and boring at the same time and not my thing and nothing I need to do again.
Yesterday he asked if I’d ever consider taking a sleeping tablet so I’d sleep heavily and he could tell me the next day what he did. The simple answer is “no” because I think it’s kind of creepy plus the fact that I wouldn’t take any medication just for fun.
He was fine with that and agreed that he’d probably find it creepy too if it was the other word around, so I think this is settled but it made me wonder. I couldn’t think of anything less appealing and I wonder if many people actually do this? I assume it’s a porn thing that isn’t really done in real life?

😬😬😬 my face as I read a post which is essentially saying my partner wants me to act out a rape fantasy

Doesn't sound like a porn thing.

Sounds like a sexual predator thing though.

I'd tell my OH to leave if he suggested this, and I'm no prude.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/france-man-films-wife-rape-b2362206.html

We're all aware of this, yes?

A French man has been accused of drugging his wife and then recording at least 51 men raping her while she slept, in attacks that took place between 2011 and 2020.
Dominique P, a pensioner who had been married for more than 50 years, allegedly mixed the anti-anxiety drug Lorazepam into his wife’s evening meal, La Monde reported.

I would break up with him.
When i read this I thought of that NHS morgue creep and 'snuff porn'.
He wants you drugged to film you or bring a man or two around to rape you. I would never trust him.

I like to think I am pretty open minded but that is really quite alarming to read. I'd be rethinking a relationship based on that suggestion.

That puts me in mind of what James Cleverly said about drugging his wife every day.

Now he's suggested it, I would be so worried that he might try and act it out without your consent. I would worry he'd slip me a sleeping pill or something and hope that you actually enjoyed it the next morning.

The difference with pretending is that if anything happened that you weren't okay with, you can stop it. You couldn't with a sleeping pill. You could stop him raping you, anally raping you, inviting others to join in, using items on you etc. you'd be completely powerless. I get how that is a turn on for some, it's a very real danger.

Er, run??!

Wtaf is wrong with these op's, asking these obvious questions??

How would you actually know if he had slipped you something and invited some blokes round to rape you?

WTAF have I just read? Absolutely horrific @Nastra LEAVE this person as soon as you can. This is grim as fuck.

You heard about that french fella, right??

Just seen he's linked above

👍

That's awful, he wants you to be unconscious, inanimate so he can use your body for his gratification only. I'd be scared, even if he doesn't give you a sleeping pill, the fact that he wants to do this is bad enough
Be scared. Get turned off.
Eugh.

‘It’s his wife, he does what he likes with her.’’

JFC

I’m not worried about him slipping me something. As far as I’m concerned we discussed it and agreed that it was a no go. But I’m not liking some of the things I’m hearing and I find some of it quite upsetting.

Would you like to be knocked out with meds and not have memory of it? Because you seem like you like to be involved. Or like you’d like to have someone have sex with you when THEY think you’re asleep but you’re actually awake. Does that make sense?

if you were drugged, you’d have no recollection of sexual encounter.

or would you like it if you had no memory of it but your partner told you about what happened/filmed it or something?

also I don’t think it’s shameful. I mean you’re pretending to be asleep, you’re not doing anything that weird. No weirder than dressing up in sexy lingerie really.

An interesting detail in that article is that the husband had asked her to try partner swapping but she said no so he drugged her and filmed men raping her anyway.

My thoughts exactly cough ANAL cough

So did the wife in the French case.

He asked her to try partner swapping and she said no.

He drugged her and filmed her being raped by 83 men.

Until the police talked to her she knew nothing about it and thought he was a frat caring guy.

It"s so disturbing. He basically wants you to be not there

Good. I'm glad you are finding it upsetting becsue the alternative is you don't react, think it's normal and come to serious harm.

This man wants to rape you and potentially bring other men in to rape you. Get out as fast as you can, before it's too late. It won't stop at drugging you unconscious, his hands will be round your neck before you know it.

Now I'm not actually glad you are finding this upsetting, obviously his behaviour is the issue though, not the replies on the thread

I'm not sure I'd feel safe with him after these requests, to be honest.

Who the hell is turned on by fucking someone unconscious and unresponsive?

I’m not worried about him slipping me something.

^^

You should be

Only a dangerous man would want to do this. - what he's suggesting is rape. You can't give consent in advance to acts which you a
will be unconscious for. This is not a man you can trust.

It's not just "creepy", it's physically dangerous for you. If he harms you while you are unconscious, you won't be able to cry out in pain and tell him to stop. If he hurt or tore you, he would just carry right on. And he thinks that's an acceptable risk because it's not his own safety that he's risking. Your physical safety doesn't matter to him at all.

Please don't stay with a man who demonstrates such disregard for your wellbeing and safety. He's a misogynist wankstain, and that's putting it mildly