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Original poster

This is another porn thing, isn’t it?

220 replies

Nastra · 02/01/2024 19:56

It’s not a problem really but it made me wonder because it was weird.
I believe my DP and I are generally fairly open with one another. I don’t mind if he initiates something while I am asleep and vice versa because we both wake up and only engage if in the mood. A while ago he asked me could I pretend to be asleep while he did things. I was ok trying it but it was actually just weird and boring at the same time and not my thing and nothing I need to do again.
Yesterday he asked if I’d ever consider taking a sleeping tablet so I’d sleep heavily and he could tell me the next day what he did. The simple answer is “no” because I think it’s kind of creepy plus the fact that I wouldn’t take any medication just for fun.
He was fine with that and agreed that he’d probably find it creepy too if it was the other word around, so I think this is settled but it made me wonder. I couldn’t think of anything less appealing and I wonder if many people actually do this? I assume it’s a porn thing that isn’t really done in real life?

OP posts:
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7
SEG152 · 02/01/2024 20:43

This isn’t a porn thing. This is an assault thing. He gets his kicks out of knowing someone is being assaulted when unconscious, unaware and un consenting.

CurlewKate · 02/01/2024 20:43

I'd be scared to eat or drink anything he gave me to be honest....

brainworms · 02/01/2024 20:44

Ted Bundy was into that and look what happened there.

It's a fetish thing and yes it's unfortunately popular.

Daphnedu · 02/01/2024 20:47

Gosh, I’m sorry but I’d be scared to sleep next to him after him saying that.

MrsWhites · 02/01/2024 20:47

Not so much of a porn thing than a ‘I want permission to rape you’ kind of thing!

Its actually really worrying and would make me more than uneasy - it’s not about being open minded or not. This is beyond the realms of being adventurous in bed, this is him fantasying about assaulting you essentially!

nighttimereader · 02/01/2024 20:47

It is rape. You cannot consent in advance, you can only consent at the time of the sexual relationship and you can withdraw the consent at any point you feel necessary, and when you are sleeping you are not able to consent.

AutumnFroglets · 02/01/2024 20:47

I would never be able to look at my partner in the same way ever again. It's sick.

I really hope he never works around vulnerable (care home) or dead people...

Purplepinkfairy · 02/01/2024 20:49

He wants to perform sexual acts on you while drugged...... in what world do you think this is OK. Get away from him.

Ncforobvies · 02/01/2024 20:49

Have NC

This is one of my fantasies and I'm a woman. I'm probably going to get alot of hate for being honest about it but I just wanted to say it's not just men that have these fantasies.

I would never take anything to knock me out though. I just pretend to be asleep for a good while before 'waking up' and getting involved. DH knows I like to be woken up with sex and just thinks I'm a heavy sleeper. He doesn't know I pretend to be asleep and do little things to get him in the mood before hand. I would really like to pretend the whole way though. We've never actually talked about it because it's quite shameful

I don't think it's that bad. I just like it.

verdantverdure · 02/01/2024 20:50

What does he want to do to you that he doesn't want you to know about?

MrsWhites · 02/01/2024 20:51

Ncforobvies · 02/01/2024 20:49

Have NC

This is one of my fantasies and I'm a woman. I'm probably going to get alot of hate for being honest about it but I just wanted to say it's not just men that have these fantasies.

I would never take anything to knock me out though. I just pretend to be asleep for a good while before 'waking up' and getting involved. DH knows I like to be woken up with sex and just thinks I'm a heavy sleeper. He doesn't know I pretend to be asleep and do little things to get him in the mood before hand. I would really like to pretend the whole way though. We've never actually talked about it because it's quite shameful

I don't think it's that bad. I just like it.

You pretending to be asleep is completely different to a partner wanting to drug you so that you can’t consent to what he is doing.

verdantverdure · 02/01/2024 20:52

Ncforobvies · 02/01/2024 20:49

Have NC

This is one of my fantasies and I'm a woman. I'm probably going to get alot of hate for being honest about it but I just wanted to say it's not just men that have these fantasies.

I would never take anything to knock me out though. I just pretend to be asleep for a good while before 'waking up' and getting involved. DH knows I like to be woken up with sex and just thinks I'm a heavy sleeper. He doesn't know I pretend to be asleep and do little things to get him in the mood before hand. I would really like to pretend the whole way though. We've never actually talked about it because it's quite shameful

I don't think it's that bad. I just like it.

It isn't your fantasy to be drugged, rendered unconscious and not know what was done to you though is it?

Jacfrost · 02/01/2024 20:52

No OP it's not a porn thing, it's a rapist thing.

Run.

SpringSparrow · 02/01/2024 20:53

It’s absolutely disgusting. He’s a very dangerous man. Massive red flag.

TornIntoPieces · 02/01/2024 20:53

LolaSmiles · 02/01/2024 20:06

It's weird and I'd seriously question what sort of man wants to perform sexual acts on someone who is sleeping and/or drugged.

^

Winnipeggy · 02/01/2024 20:53

Ncforobvies · 02/01/2024 20:49

Have NC

This is one of my fantasies and I'm a woman. I'm probably going to get alot of hate for being honest about it but I just wanted to say it's not just men that have these fantasies.

I would never take anything to knock me out though. I just pretend to be asleep for a good while before 'waking up' and getting involved. DH knows I like to be woken up with sex and just thinks I'm a heavy sleeper. He doesn't know I pretend to be asleep and do little things to get him in the mood before hand. I would really like to pretend the whole way though. We've never actually talked about it because it's quite shameful

I don't think it's that bad. I just like it.

You understand in this scenario you have the power to stop the fantasy at any point though?

The difference is consent.

TornIntoPieces · 02/01/2024 20:53

Jackiebrambles · 02/01/2024 20:32

Well that’s terrifying. Watch what you eat and drink when you are with him.

Also this ^ 🚩🚩

verdantverdure · 02/01/2024 20:54

AutumnFroglets · 02/01/2024 20:47

I would never be able to look at my partner in the same way ever again. It's sick.

I really hope he never works around vulnerable (care home) or dead people...

Jimmy Savile comes to mind.

Ncforobvies · 02/01/2024 20:54

verdantverdure · 02/01/2024 20:52

It isn't your fantasy to be drugged, rendered unconscious and not know what was done to you though is it?

Show quote history

Sort of yes.

But I don't even drink so I would never take drugs.

I would like to pretend it/act it out. But feel I could never say that.

hereditaryillnesses · 02/01/2024 20:55

Twisted AF

Ncforobvies · 02/01/2024 20:57

Apologies if what I'm saying isn't relevant. I just thought having these thoughts sometimes doesn't mean you're an actual danger and you would actually do these things without consent.

But I see that the act of being drugged does actually take away consent. Even if taken willingly at first.
You can't consent to something you don't know is happening.
:(

verdantverdure · 02/01/2024 20:57

@Nastra's DP doesn't want to pretend though does he @Ncforobvies?

He wants her to be unconscious.

premiur · 02/01/2024 20:59

Ncforobvies · 02/01/2024 20:49

Have NC

This is one of my fantasies and I'm a woman. I'm probably going to get alot of hate for being honest about it but I just wanted to say it's not just men that have these fantasies.

I would never take anything to knock me out though. I just pretend to be asleep for a good while before 'waking up' and getting involved. DH knows I like to be woken up with sex and just thinks I'm a heavy sleeper. He doesn't know I pretend to be asleep and do little things to get him in the mood before hand. I would really like to pretend the whole way though. We've never actually talked about it because it's quite shameful

I don't think it's that bad. I just like it.

Your fantasy is nothing like OPDH