Page 7 | Paris Hilton surrogacy

geevesask · 2023-11-30T19:46:43+00:00

"Surrogacy was a difficult decision to make," she admitted. "I would have loved that experience of growing the baby in your tummy and feeling the kicks and all of those exciting moments, but my life has just been so public," she continued. "So even though the baby is biologically mine and Carter's, we decided to have a surrogate carry him." What does that even mean ? What does being in the public eye have to do with carrying your own child ?

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 13:54

I do want to read more into how surrogacy affects the child. So far I have thought of it from the mother's view.

When someone on here said "what about how the child feels". It did remind me of one of my friends.

She was adopted. And she has a lot of psychological damage from it. She has an inability to bond with people.

She will be really good friends with someone for say a year, then she will completely cut them off for something small, then move onto someone else. She is not able to form bonda. She has told me that she is afraid of getting too close to anyone

WeFancyLike · 01/12/2023 14:07

I do want to read more into how surrogacy affects the child.

I hope you do read more on this, as well as on birth injuries and deaths of surrogates. And the cases of so called altruistic surrogacy in families/friends that have turned bad.

Also read accounts from egg/sperm donor conceived people, (common in surrogacy to use donors) that are struggling with their situation, identity and where they fit in. My friend was conceived using a donor egg, Carried by the woman who brought her up but she has really struggled her whole life. Being raised in a loving home doesn’t take away how people feel about themselves and the situation. My friends parents admit they didn’t really think of how the child would feel, they just wanted a baby.

I wish it was all banned everywhere.

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 14:13

People often think of the adults feelings before the child's feelings , in lots of situations. They tend to see the adult as more human with more rights. And the child as not fully human. I've seen it happen in different scenarios.

FloweryPumpkin1 · 01/12/2023 14:50

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 13:24

@Dowhadiddydiddydum I didn't say it's ok to risk another woman's life. For fuck sak

I said that usually the main reason that people do surrogacy is that it is not possible for them to carry a pregnancy. That they are either not able to carry a pregnancy at all, or that they have a high risk of death if they carry another pregancy

That is why most women choose a surrogate.

Kim Kardashian had placenta accreta and it had left a hole in her womb, she could not carry another pregnancy, this is why she used a surrogate, who had a healthy womb.

One of the big issues though is that carrying a surrogate pregnancy is significantly riskier than carrying a pregnancy using your own egg. Apparently it's also riskier if the sperm used to fertilise the egg is not that of your own sexual partner. These factors make surrogate mothers more likely to experience pre-eclampsia, for example, even if they had uncomplicated pregnancies with their own biological babies.

The point I'm making is that often the risk is just passed onto the surrogate mother. Here's an interesting article from the BMJ that explains it much better than me:

blogs.bmj.com/medical-ethics/2018/02/19/surrogacy-obstetric-risk-and-the-kardashian-wests/

Mumtobabyhavoc · 01/12/2023 17:07

FloweryPumpkin1 · 01/12/2023 14:50

One of the big issues though is that carrying a surrogate pregnancy is significantly riskier than carrying a pregnancy using your own egg. Apparently it's also riskier if the sperm used to fertilise the egg is not that of your own sexual partner. These factors make surrogate mothers more likely to experience pre-eclampsia, for example, even if they had uncomplicated pregnancies with their own biological babies.

The point I'm making is that often the risk is just passed onto the surrogate mother. Here's an interesting article from the BMJ that explains it much better than me:

blogs.bmj.com/medical-ethics/2018/02/19/surrogacy-obstetric-risk-and-the-kardashian-wests/

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This is absolute and utter bullshit.

theconfidenceofwho · 01/12/2023 17:14

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 14:13

People often think of the adults feelings before the child's feelings , in lots of situations. They tend to see the adult as more human with more rights. And the child as not fully human. I've seen it happen in different scenarios.

Absolutely - it's all about the adults wants rather than the child's needs. Its sickening.

SkyFullofStars1975 · 01/12/2023 18:12

It would be interesting to observe the rates if surrogacy had to be completely altruistic and no money was allowed to change hands, even expenses.

It's simply abhorent. A good friend was adopted and it's cast a shadow over their entire lives, they have never shaken that feeling of rejection off.

MaidOfSteel · 01/12/2023 18:34

Another baby buyer.

Scorchio84 · 01/12/2023 19:29

Did anyone even ask? It seems like an announcement for the sake of it..

Oh & it coincides with her "public" new reality show, which, call me a cynic, most likely features her surrogacy "journey" 🙄

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 19:42

I think surrogacy is beautiful actually.

How amazing is it, that if a woman can't have a baby,then another woman can have it for her

beatrix1234 · 01/12/2023 20:12

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 19:42

I think surrogacy is beautiful actually.

How amazing is it, that if a woman can't have a baby,then another woman can have it for her

Organ donation is beautiful too.

How amazing is it that if your kidney fails there will always be a poor person in a third world country happy to sell you his?

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 20:58

beatrix1234 · 01/12/2023 20:12

Organ donation is beautiful too.

How amazing is it that if your kidney fails there will always be a poor person in a third world country happy to sell you his?

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Eh what? Did you just write that to sound extreme

Because That's not how organ donation works.

If your organ fails, you don't buy an organ from Africa.

You are matched with a donor. Lo

Lots of people in first world countries, e.g. the UK and America donate their organs at death.

So what are you going on about Africa for

Neitheronethingnortheother · 01/12/2023 21:05

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 20:58

Eh what? Did you just write that to sound extreme

Because That's not how organ donation works.

If your organ fails, you don't buy an organ from Africa.

You are matched with a donor. Lo

Lots of people in first world countries, e.g. the UK and America donate their organs at death.

So what are you going on about Africa for

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Between 5 and 42% of organ transplants are from illegally procured organs, often from teenagers trafficked for their organs

It would have been more accurate to go within India though as that appears to be where the highest number of organ trafficked victims come from

If an organ fails some people absolutely do buy another organ

fixies · 01/12/2023 21:08

She's a bit messed up. I have more sympathy for Paris than many others who are just too vain. I suspect in the us anyone over 30 is told by the 'fertility industry' to use ivf/surrogates etc. massive money making machine.

beatrix1234 · 01/12/2023 21:09

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 20:58

Eh what? Did you just write that to sound extreme

Because That's not how organ donation works.

If your organ fails, you don't buy an organ from Africa.

You are matched with a donor. Lo

Lots of people in first world countries, e.g. the UK and America donate their organs at death.

So what are you going on about Africa for

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Because organ trafficking is a fact and some people can't wait that long for an organ donor. How many of those surrogate mothers would go ahead with their pregnancy if there was no money involved? I'm afraid very few. Have you heard about surrogacy farming? They're farms in india full of pregnant women breeding babies for rich people. It's a bit business there.

https://www.smh.com.au/world/indias-baby-farm-20080106-gdrvpa.html

India's baby farm

Dressed in pink and blue gowns, a group of expectant mothers meets in a clinic. None of the women will become mum to the child she carries. Sam Dolnick reports on India's surrogate baby business.

https://www.smh.com.au/world/indias-baby-farm-20080106-gdrvpa.html

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 21:20

beatrix1234 · 01/12/2023 21:09

Because organ trafficking is a fact and some people can't wait that long for an organ donor. How many of those surrogate mothers would go ahead with their pregnancy if there was no money involved? I'm afraid very few. Have you heard about surrogacy farming? They're farms in india full of pregnant women breeding babies for rich people. It's a bit business there.

https://www.smh.com.au/world/indias-baby-farm-20080106-gdrvpa.html

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Regarding surrogacy farming, yes I'm sure extreme abuse happens in the world of surrogacy. And that there are multiple issues that need to be looked at regarding ethics money, morals and women's health. Ie poorer women can be exploited to provide richer women with babies.

However in the case where a woman is doing it out of love for another woman , ie if her sister or friend cant have a baby, and the woman decides to have a baby for her. That is beautiful.

crumblingschools · 01/12/2023 21:22

@Mooshamoo so you have decided that there is no impact on the child as it is such a beautiful thing to do

Neitheronethingnortheother · 01/12/2023 21:28

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 21:20

Regarding surrogacy farming, yes I'm sure extreme abuse happens in the world of surrogacy. And that there are multiple issues that need to be looked at regarding ethics money, morals and women's health. Ie poorer women can be exploited to provide richer women with babies.

However in the case where a woman is doing it out of love for another woman , ie if her sister or friend cant have a baby, and the woman decides to have a baby for her. That is beautiful.

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Is it beautiful? Who decided its beautiful? The surrogate mother, the intended parents, the child themselves?

Is it still beautiful if it turns out the child has a developmental issue and the intended parents change their mind and leave the surrogate mother to decide what to do with the baby? Keep it or surrender it to state care knowing full well that disabled children are less likely to be adopted. Bit of a difference to the "beautiful" act of handing a baby over to your friend.

A mother deciding to give her teenage child her heart so that the teenager can live would be a beautiful act to some. Still doesn't mean it shouldn't be legal.

And the issue with options comes pressure. I've had multiple, many many, people casually tell me I haven't "tried hard enough" to have a baby. "Have I considered...", "there's always x....". So much societal pressure on people who, if they are already going through infertility may be in a fragile state often with little to no mental health support or counselling. Sometimes the absence of morally dubious options is kinder than the presence of them.

FirstFallopians · 01/12/2023 21:29

It was the stories coming out of Ukraine when the war broke out that made the last remaining scales fall from my eyes.

I saw a few “heartwarming” stories about UK/ Irish couples managing to get their surrogate babies out of the country shortly after the Russians invaded.

Not one of them mentioned the surrogate mother, whether it was saying she was ok and safe, or thanking her for the massive sacrifice she’d made for them. It was as if these babies just appeared from nowhere and had just been rerouted to the wrong sorting office.

Mooshamoo · 01/12/2023 21:36

crumblingschools · 01/12/2023 21:22

@Mooshamoo so you have decided that there is no impact on the child as it is such a beautiful thing to do

You're talking about the impact on the child.

So I presume you're saying that a woman who biologically carries her child and brings up the child, has the best impact on the child.

But that's not true. Look at all the horror child abuse stories out there.

wineoclock90 · 01/12/2023 21:52

Mumtobabyhavoc · 01/12/2023 04:49

When are women going to stop judging and shaming other women? FFS get a life. 🤦‍♀️

It's never going to stop..

Neitheronethingnortheother · 01/12/2023 21:54

FirstFallopians · 01/12/2023 21:29

It was the stories coming out of Ukraine when the war broke out that made the last remaining scales fall from my eyes.

I saw a few “heartwarming” stories about UK/ Irish couples managing to get their surrogate babies out of the country shortly after the Russians invaded.

Not one of them mentioned the surrogate mother, whether it was saying she was ok and safe, or thanking her for the massive sacrifice she’d made for them. It was as if these babies just appeared from nowhere and had just been rerouted to the wrong sorting office.

I wonder how many of those parents made sure their surrogates had homes with them if they needed to flee to the UK?

It's only beautiful until they get what they want...

CurlewKate · 01/12/2023 21:57

@Mumtobabyhavoc I have been a feminist for nearly 60 years. I am not going to say that something is right just because a woman does it. And yes, I will judge women who exploit other women. In most cases of surrogacy a woman is being exploited.

Newsenmum · 01/12/2023 22:05

I’ve started to see more and more surrogates and are amazed at the work they do. I’ve spoken to three now (one uk based and two US based) and they’re such lovely stories. I’d consider it but would want to keep all the babies! Hopefully Paris’s surrogate got everything she wanted and lived very well through the pregnancy.

HRTQueen · 01/12/2023 22:12

Well it it’s the latest baby fad and she is so self absorbed she couldn’t allow herself to put on weight

25-30 years ago it was adopting a baby from China than a little later a black baby now let’s just pay someone to have a biological baby of my own

it’s absolutely appalling how to have a baby of your own follows a trend