Is having a baby really that hard work?

[ithobsnnwnma]

I love babies and can't wait to have them but a few of my friends say it's such hard work in real life. I've babysat my cousins etc when younger so have some experience although limited I admit. What makes it hard?

Sleep deprivation makes the simplest of tasks hard work. If you have a baby that sleeps well it’s not that hard, which is why babysitting is easy because you never get sleep deprived.

if you have a baby that doesn’t sleep well it’s very difficult.

You never (we’ll barely ever) get a break!

Lack of sleep
Emotional upheaval
Having total care for a tiny helpless human
People tell you to sleep when baby sleeps but there's no magic fairy to do the house jobs while you sleep

Depends on the baby!

I had a horrendous pregnancy and was left struggling to walk. Babies don't sleep, it's relentless. You have lots of hormones. Breastfeeding is hard. It's just full on being 100% responsible for a tiny life

I’m so sorry, are you me, before I had a baby?

Seriously, if you really want a practice run, don’t sleep in more than 1 hr bursts for one year. Oh and also find something you have to be responsible for but have no control over and know that you have to look after it/think about it every day for the rest of the time you’re on this earth. And also burn any extra money you have - just to practice, that will all be going on your baby, so you can probably do without it, no?

So no, it’s obviously not so hard it’s not worth it as many of us have had more than one, but it is exceptionally hard.

I have a 7 month old. I don't find it hard but it can be incredibly boring, I feel much better since going back to work and now that he's a bit older too.

All of the above plus the realisation that you have the responsibility of someone else's life and all related worries to varying degrees until the end of your life.

Depends. There have been thousands of threads on here covering all angles that you can look at for insight. People mostly don’t tend to ask for advice when things are going well but there’s mountains on wisdom and experience on here that might help.

I didn't find it hard work at all. I was lucky. My daughter was a great sleeper from the off. Had a straight forward birth. Maternity leave was the easiest and most happiest 9 months of my life x

Yes, they are hard work.
The sleep deprivation is relentless until they sleep through. Never underestimate how much sleep deprivation can affect you.

Because you are responsible for another human being for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It doesn't matter whether you are tired or ill, whether it is your birthday or Christmas Day, you still have (and more importantly feel) that responsibility.

Ha! Yes!

Having them 24/7, the worrying, the crying (which is much more jangling when it's your own child), the sleep deprivation, childminding other children is not in the same universe as having your own.

Its honestly not something you can understand until you have one. And even then, factors such as developing pnd,having a high needs child, doing it on your own, bf difficulties, etc etc mean some mums have it far more difficult than others

It looks miserably tedious from an outsider’s perspective. Imagine every time you tried to go to sleep, somebody kept trying to wake you up. Or every time you began a conversation with somebody, somebody else started yelling over you. And whenever you’re about to enjoy your dinner, you’re told you can’t eat it until it goes cold and have to instead try to feed somebody who is angry because they really don’t know if they want their dinner, or are actually really tired.

Babies just look incredibly unreasonable.

Both my babies were easy - they basically just slept. But...15 years down the line and whilst it's easier now...I want my life and freedom back. They are lovely, easy at times, hard at others, but you completely lose your freedom for decades. I am so excited that they'll be at uni in a few years, hopefully, and then all ill have to do is just my job. And that's it. I am so excited. All that lovely time.

Personally I don't think looking after a baby is hard work BUT the things that come with having a baby is hard work.

1.you never get a break or if u do hardly ever, it is literally a 24/7 thing.

1. Social life don't exist and if it does you'll rarely ever go out with friends (unless they have babies aswell)

3.feels like you repeat the same routine everyday it can get mentally exhausting.

1. The SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

5.You don't feel like yourself and lose your identity feel likee just a mom and nothing else (my personal experience not everyone's) 6.work and career will be on hold so sometimes you feel like shit because you don't feel successful.

There's so much more that comes with children, children and babies are the best thing in the world but it's also so tough. Everything in your life changes but you soon learn to adapt to it, obviously with some down and dark days but it's all worth it :)

The relentlessness

A difficult birth, leaving you torn or with abdominal surgery. Recovering from that with severe sleep deprivation while being responsible for a helpless newborn. Haywire hormones. Possible depression. Exhaustion. Then your breast milk won't come. Baby gets dehydrated and you're both back in hospital. Back home and they get colicky. And I think I didn't have too bad.

No it's a piece of piss - millions of women around the world for centuries have coordinated a big fat lie to put other women off.

This feels like a bit of a goady post.

Unlike when you babysit, your own baby needs you 24/7. It wakes you up multiple times in the night. It cries a lot. The day they’ve born you’ve been through at least a seriously painful and exhausting few hours, at worst days or weeks of anxiety, pain, one or more surgeries. You’re more hormonal than you have ever been, in pain, bleeding, and can’t sleep for more than two hours max before you’ve got to drag yourself up again.

As they get older they need more. More attention, interaction. Always need to keep an eye on what they’re doing, keep them safe, correct any behaviour you don’t want, firm but not too firm, guide them but let them work it out themselves. Get them fed 3 balanced meals even if they refuse most food. Teach them to sleep, change their nappy while they flip over and try to steal shitty wipes. Essentially keep them first in your mind, always.

No cinema trips, they can’t go there. No nice restaurants or nightclubs, even if you have helpful family parenting hungover is a nightmare. Every trip out takes so much organisation and planning. And you still need to work, tidy, cook, get the car serviced. Nothing is easier, everything is more complex.

It’s really hard. Practically, emotionally. Kids are wonderful but being a parent is hard. It’s naive to suggest it may not be.

I was lucky my son slept through from 11 weeks. Breastfeeding in the beginning was hard, very tiring. But love it. Wouldn't change any of it. He's a good baba

My son didn't sleep for longer than 90 mins for the first 7 months. It was horrendous. It affected mine and DHs relationship. Luckily DS sleeps like a log now!!!

Some people find it hard, some don't. You won't know which you are until you have one really.

Babies are okay. I mean, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, crying for no reason (no one tells you that babies cry will rip your soul apart) are not fun. It's when they turn into toddlers, more accurately, 3 year olds. It's hard, very hard. It's so demanding and there's no end to it. But. It's also the most amazing thing in the world and even on the worst of days, you wouldn't change it for the world.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4845403-to-wonder-if-this-is-why-some-people-find-parenting-easier

This is interesting. Have an easy baby, a supportive partner, plenty of money, no health issues and you’ll be grand! 😆 That was the gist.