DD hates swimming lessons with school..

[canthurryup]

Daughter is 9 years old and recently started swimming with school. She hates it. It has got to the point now where she cries the night before begging me not to let her go, she is sick waking in the nigh. I have discussed with teacher who have said it's part of the curriculum so she has to do it.
She has it fhis morning and has been waking throughout the night and being sick this morning. WIbU to keep her off school because school are not interested in helping.

The teacher should not be shaming her in the classroom, and regardless what lesson it was if my child was waking in the night really distressed and vomiting with fear at the thought of attending that lesson I would look very closely at exactly what was taking place during those lessons to cause such distress.
Is the same teacher who is making her feel self conscious and upset in the classroom the same arsehole who is taking her swimming?

Did you have to sign a permission letter for her to go? Maybe you could write another letter withdrawing your permission due to concerns about her levels of anxiety during the activity and how this impacts her safety during the activity.

Swimming. It's just pathetic isn't it in this day and age that it is still on the curriculum. Why on earth doesn't one of them take action to change this archaic 'lesson'

1. Because it's a useful life skill.
2. Most children enjoy it.
3. For some children, school swimming lessons will be the only chance they get to swim.

I understand some children hate it, and I don't think OP's DD should be forced to do it when she hates it that much, but it's still no reason to ruin it for everyone else.

I'd complain to the head about the teacher bullying her in front of the class, and say that you'd go to the education board/put in a formal complaint about the teacher if it doesn't stop. That sort of humiliating a child who is already struggling is absolutely disgraceful in 2023, and tbh, I'd have half a mind to go your child up today (or tomorrow) and walk straight to her classroom and have it out with the teacher, and warn them you'll will put in a formal complaint and even pursue harassment charges against them. NO, I am NOT kidding! I am very, very serious. When next your child is in school, go to her classroom at pick up. You need to sort this teacher out.

As her class teacher is such a bully and your daughter is so worked up, I do not recommend sending your daughter to school on swimming day. I am a very strong believer in traumatic events at school can harm you for life. I speak from experience. If your daughter can swim then I would not force her to go. She needs your support, she needs you to have her back. For whatever reason, something has happened and she is traumatised. Be her soft place to land, don't force her to go to school on the day.

First, go speak to her class teacher. Don't give them any warning, or even tell your daughter (she might inadvertently tell the teacher and give the teacher the heads up so the teacher leaves early/can't be found), just get there early at her classroom and walk in and demand to speak with the teacher.

Then, follow up with an email to the head and say if the teacher continues bullying, you will proceed with action.

You may even need to have her change classes/teachers.

Whatever you do, DON'T force your daughter to go, and DON'T let her teacher continue to bully your child. Stop all this, and put a stop to it right now.

It is very important that your child becomes a confident swimmer - for her safety. The best outcome is that your daughter can cope with the swimming lessons and behaves like all of her classmates. You need to keep her in the lessons. If you also went smimming - changed into bathers with her and tried the classes she might be less fearful of the atmosphere in her class.

She already can swim. She doesn't need the lessons. She will never be able to cope with it, so the school swimming lessons won't be able to happen.

I’d be interested to know who teaches her class swimming. When I had to teach swimming as a class teacher, a TA with higher swimming qualifications taught the top group, me with basic qualifications taught the middle group, and a proper bought-in swimming teacher from the swimming pool taught the non-swimmers to swim.

With the erosion of school budgets, I would think it very likely that the funding for swimming teaching qualifications as well as paying for professional specialised swimming teachers is not available, with group size and teacher competence then being an issue that could readily affect enjoyment.

Funding may also affect how non-swimmers are managed - we used a class TA to support changing and also sit with anyone not swimming by the pool, but class TAs are definitely a vanishing breed due to funding cuts.

Well it's great if kids can swim, but it isn't "very important", and not more important than her day to day wellbeing and ability to attend school. And I'd also disagree that "behaving like all her classmates" is necessarily the best outcome for the child.

And if you'd cared to RTFT you'd have clocked that the child can already swim confidently, and the OP has already requested supporting her by attending. (Which I can 100% see why the school turned down)

The problem here is that schools no longer have the resources for making flexible and child-centred arrangements. I imagine the problem here is possibly sensory and also stress. I swim daily and there are often schools in - it sounds like a total nightmare even when the teachers seem to have a nice relationship with the children. There's not enough time or space, basically.

I hated swimming at school too, and conveniently missed most of it due to a chest infection. I loved swimming with family and friends, however.

For me, the main barrier was having to get changed out of school uniform, in an only semi-private changing area, and then back into school uniform at the end with wet hair which there wasn’t time to dry. I also strongly disliked PE in general, for similar reasons.

If she is upset about it to the point of being sick, that is a serious anxiety issue and you should talk to her GP. And no she shouldn’t be forced to do it. Those posting that she should just be told she has to do it and get on with it must have never had anxiety or seen a loved one with it. Her concerns need to be listened to, barriers removed where possible, and an alternative found if needed.