DD hates swimming lessons with school..

[canthurryup]

Daughter is 9 years old and recently started swimming with school. She hates it. It has got to the point now where she cries the night before begging me not to let her go, she is sick waking in the nigh. I have discussed with teacher who have said it's part of the curriculum so she has to do it.
She has it fhis morning and has been waking throughout the night and being sick this morning. WIbU to keep her off school because school are not interested in helping.

I think when you send your child to school you give a blanket consent to them accessing the curriculum.

Some children are a good advertisement for home schooling.

All these posts talking about past trauma caused by swimming. Wouldn't you want to break that cycle as a parent?

You've identified what she objects to (not water, not swimming); it;s her swimming cossie and getting changed.

One of the tasks of a parent is helping a child to talk about problems, find a solution and move on. (Not, hide in a corner not coping) So, address the cossie; why she doesn't like hers, what's to be done about it.

The changing issue can be handled by getting her one of those big towelling changing robes used by outdoor swimmers. Put it on and change inside it' warm and private, before and after swimming

<www.amazon.co.uk/Surf-Towel/s?k=Surf+Towel>

All these posts talking about past trauma caused by swimming. Wouldn't you want to break that cycle as a parent?

If a child was screaming and crying about doing maths we'd look at ways to de-escalate the situation, try to find out what exactly was causing the problem, any potential steps we can take to make it easier etc. We don't just to a blanket "you must write out these sums and I don't care if you're in tears and making yourself sick over it". If the school thinks she will get better by simply forcing her to do it then I'd look to move schools tbh, because they sound shit.

This is a teaching moment teaching her that sometimes you have to do things you don't like and it's all about HOW you overcome situations you don't like for the greater good

Yes if was a maths class or just going to school but swimming is entirely irrelevant and as such fine to miss.

@Janiie
Sorry you feel that way. But teaching children they can have time off just because they don't like something is doing joined any favours

Why is swimming irrelevant?

The thing about maths is you can sit there and listen or not, but with swimming you have to get changed and get in a pool.

Well you don't do sats, GCSEs or Alevels in them so as such it doesn’t matter if missed.

Parents should teach their kids to swim.

I think it is worth booking a meeting at school with eg the class teacher and the PE lead and/or whoever teaches them swimming (if they are taught by school staff), to see if you can cone up with a solution together. Things I would want to explore would include:

• how does she react just before/during the lesson (ie us the reluctance mostly at hone and at school she’s ok, or is it clear that there is an issue throughout?
• which group us she in, who is she with, who teaches her and can she reach the bottom of the pool during her lesson?
• what are the changing / clothing arrangements, and what adjustments are possible?
• have the school encountered situations like this before, and how have they overcome these - either with swimming or with other areas of the curriculum including PE?
• is there a trusted member of staff who could help to support your dd in order that she can overcome this?
• what is the curriculum outcome for the swimming lessons (eg the 25 m national curriculum target) and could they accept roof of this in a different setting if nothing else helps?

I have taught swimming, and also taught classes who have had swimming lessons. If I had a pupil in this much distress, I’d be working with the parents and expert colleagues to help.

which country? (I hope you are not going to do the usual MN point to Finland because i have a sibling who works in the Finnish education system)

It not completely irrelevant but to my knowledge non-swimmers just stay out of water through their lives with zero chance of drowning. As opposed to swimmers who overestimate their ability to swim and get into trouble, go beyond safe distances etc. of course accidents / ship wrecks can happen to anyone but it is hard to see it is a life skill to someone who has zero interest in ever getting into the water. And hardly ever needed to succeed in life

non-swimmers just stay out of water through their lives with zero chance of drowning.

The problem there is when someone ends up in water unexpectedly.

Agree but how often do we encounter such situations in modern times living in cities etc ? That's what another poster meant about it being somewhat archaic

I imagine it was pushed onto schools because so many parents didn't bother.

I imagine it was pushed onto schools because so many parents didn't bother

It was because many parents can’t afford to pay for swimming lessons, or to go swimming.

And when schools take it over, people whine that their kids don't have to take a GCSE in it so why should they bother 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd just keep her off if she hates it that much.

There are few situations as an adult where you have to do something that makes you really upset and uncomfortable so I don't really get the argument that forcing children to do things they hate at school somehow prepares them for life.

Your daughter can swim and has had private lessons with no problem? If so, tough it out with the school. There’s something about these swimming lessons/pool etc your daughter is really unhappy about but can’t/won’t discuss. Also outing her in class doesn’t give me much confidence at all. This is 2023 and not the 1970s where many kids learned fear of the water thanks to being shouted at and punished for being frightened.

The discussion about what schools should / should not teach is an interesting, broad and polarised one.

If a child drowns in a local pond when playing one hot summer, the cry will be ‘why don’t all schools teach swimming until every child is a strong swimmer?’

If a child doesn’t enjoy school swimming lessons, the cry is ‘why do schools waste time teaching swimming?’

For every parent or politician stating that schools are responsible for everything involved in making children good citizens - from British values to financial literacy to sex education to nutrition - there is one who states they should focus solely on academic subject content, decrying the fact that children ‘don’t know key dates in world history’ or ‘perform ledd well in specific Maths tests than children in Shanghai’. As a result, schools can end up trying to teach everything, and do everything.

Swimming was enshrined in the National Curriculum review in the 1980’s

All children need to have experienced swimming. Unfortunately because no standard was set, they just have to experience it. They don’t have to be able to swim.

That's really sad OP. My dd is lucky as she has had swimming lessons in her class for 4 years now and I think it's so much better when they start young and it's 'the norm' to get changed together. Now her friends actually choose to share a changing room together and they're 10.
I can well imagine this causes problems as they mature I think is this the reason? Such a shame as swimming is such an excellent form of exercise. I would probably do as others have said and have an ear infection here and there and skip a few lessons but make her go to some.

This.

There’ also an element of bodily autonomy here.

I’ve always attempted to encourage resilience and “making an attempt “ with my lot, and while it’s absolutely correct that in my work day I there are some task s that I enjoy less than others none of them involve having to completely undress in a situation that I’m uncomfortable doing so.

I disagree with this. Forcing the child to do something she's making herself physically sick over

No no no. Poor kid.