Has a man dressed as a woman ever come into a communal changing room with you or joined a specifically female group you belong to ?

[Rilkescat]

How common is it ? Not really referring to stories in the media but for everyday women on MN. FWIW I've never met a trans person that I know of, neither professionally or socially. I'm a HCP so meet alot of members of the public. None of my kids have friends that are trans nor do my friends have children that are either.
Loads of trans threads at the moment. No problem with that but just wondered if it really is that prevalent ?
Before I get flamed I'm not in favour of biological womens' safe spaces being open to biological men but equally I don't think that all trans people, especially trans women are necessarily sexually deviant or mentally ill.

yes, but my social circle is heavily LGBTQIA+, and there are a large proportion within that who identify as Trans or Non-binary.. i have shared bathrooms, changing rooms, and social spaces with all of them and never had any problem with a single one.

Yes, one joined a group for local women, was supposed to be women only meeting socially. I left. Also at uni graduations in loos etc.

But you have a choice there, these people are not coming into a women/men only space.
You have invited these people and presumably want them there. It’s a very different scenario

Came in took over loads left the group shut down apparently we are all terfs for not sharing our pain and trauma openly with them

Had a man turn up at our netball club once. It was a social club of 20-50 year old women. The man, who was pleasant enough, was very physical and rough to mark and the whole atmosphere and dynamic changed.

Of course trans people are not sexually deviant or a threat.

but opening women only areas to people with penises can lead to issues

ar DS school a girl was sexually assaulted by a boy in the gender neutral toilets. No trans people were involved. But the new toilet set up facilitated this attack

and that is the issue

I don’t mind what anyone identified as, i want penis free areas to continue to exist.

Sorry just read the op again . In my case it wasn’t a transwoman, they was no identity issues.

My women only sports group was changed to anyone who “identified as a woman” and at least half of the group self-excluded after that.
I don’t believe it is running anymore once it became mixed sex.

That’s a ridiculous thing to say.

How would you have any idea what a person was like from encountering them for 2 minutes?

I have a Godchild who is transitioning and 3 other friends who have transitioning young adult children. We had a cleaner at work who was a Transwoman and I have seen/ heard 2 colleagues on large team meetings who are Transwomen.
I don't frequent changing rooms so have not come across this.

When I worked in retail, women's shoes and clothes, I served many men wearing clothing associated with women. many were lovely, many were creepy and pervy. One would bring a book of themselves in various states of undress and show it to the young Saturday kids serving them. Some would get a visible boner when you were helping them with their shoes. Half of my kids class identify as no sex or the opposite sex or as multiple people.

I object to males in female spaces as they commit 99% of all sexual violence. The recent census shows that does not alter when a man identifies as a woman. Cold hard facts and rigorous safeguarding. All boils down to whether you think women and girls matter and deserve the same opportunities as men and boys.

I have a Godchild who is transitioning and 3 other friends who have transitioning young adult children. We had a cleaner at work who was a Transwoman and I have seen/ heard 2 colleagues on large team meetings who are Transwomen.

Strange missing of the point. You seem to imply that others are saying trans people should not exist. Which is obviously not the case. People are talking about non-transitioned people assuming a right to enter places previously reserved for women - for reasons of safety, dignity or mutual support.

I'm not sure I would even notice tbh. I'm usually too busy avoiding eye contact with everyone.

I have met a number of transwomen through work, though. Never had any bother. Some you wouldn't even realise. But also know a few women who have been "accused" of being trans just because they weren't aesthetically feminine-looking. That is horrible when it happens. Women, basically being told that they can't be women because they aren't pretty enough or their voices aren't high enough.

Exactly this, I have in my work role known two trans women, both truly lovely and both of whom had suffered horrendous abuse from the general public. My social circle includes a trans woman and again I have no issues whatsoever with her. I do understand that women are concerned about some men using safe spaces and this needs to be addressed. I am far more worried about how much we can trust the police as the almost endless disclosures about the Met would seem to indicate that this is where there is a far greater risk to women.

I've known lots of transwome professionaly, but I work in IT which seems to have a higher than average distribution of TIM. They have all been fine in most cases, apart from the odd bit of "I'm better than a real woman becase I've gone to the effort of transitioning and look I wear this inappropriately sexual clothes at work" which has generally worn off a bit after the initial euphoria of presenting as a woman at work wore off. One had to be spoken to by management as was literally coming into the office in fishnets, tiny mini skirt and boob tube.

Socially I know one, friend of a relative who transitioning in early twenties. Again, pretty inoffensive apart from the fact they started playing a women's sport post transition, at county level and caused a few nasty injuries (breaking one girls shin so you can probably guess the sport) and I though that was a bit out of order, moved to coaching soon after.

I think these people are quite different from the more recent activist lot that keep their penises and insist on trampling on women's rights.

But yes, in IT and tech, there are a noticeable amount.

Not the same but…We have a cross dresser at work, he is straight. When we had a staff night out he came in male clothes and went to the men’s toilets, halfway through the night he got changed and was now dressed as a woman and started going into the women’s toilets. Baring in mind he is a straight male. A couple of us mentioned to him that we didn’t feel comfortable and he said I can’t go in the men’s in a dress, a colleague said you can’t go in the women’s with a dick.
He reported us to HR at work for discrimination based on his gender, work started investigating and then said it was out of work hours so not their issue, I think because they didn’t want to risk also being seen as discriminatory. We don’t invite him anymore!

Not me personally but my mum - I wrote a thread about it last year

Transwoman in the changing room at school pool www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4605219-transwoman-in-the-changing-room-at-school-pool?msgid=-4605219#-4605219

I went to an event for women only hosted by the Fawcett society and 50:50 parliament to encourage more women to enter politics at both local and national levels. This would have been about 5 years ago. In our break out session, a trans woman attendee dominated the session. Unfortunately the facilitator fawned over them, and let them dominate. Our socialisation runs deep. Such a waste of what could have been a good event.

The thread question was not Have you ever met or been in the same room as a trans person?

The question posed at the top of the thread was quite specifically this:

Has a man dressed as a woman ever come into a communal changing room with you or joined a specifically female group you belong to ?

Surely it’s not hard to understand and respond to the actual question?

There was a transman who taught at my school 25 years ago. He had lived as a man for 10+ years, before had always identified as a man and had a female partner. The only difference came when he started hormones/did the actual change is that we were instructed to call him Sir instead of Miss. It made the news.

I also happen to know a sexual deviant who goes out dressed as a 'woman' (ad wig, too much make up, fishnets, tiny skirt) and meets men for sex. They enjoy finishing as a man while wearing their get up.

I wouldn't feel particularly comfortable being in a female only space with the latter. I am unsure if I'd feel comfortable being in a female only space with the former.

Could the solution be, all cubicle changing areas with enclosed showers?

I worked in a secondary school for 6 years. To begin with we had zero trans, by the time I left there was one in every class, predominantly f2m though.
I don’t try not to use shop changing rooms these days and a communal changing room would prevent me from joining the gym (not necessarily because of the trans concern, more because as a teacher I don’t really fancy the idea of potentially meeting ex students with my tits out)

(Sorry, post above was general, not directed to posts directly above mine!)

“Could the solution be, all cubicle changing areas with enclosed showers?”

Actually the solution already IS separate areas for males and females. But for some men that isn’t good enough. They want female spaces too. Plenty of women on here willing to happily give it away to them too. 🙄

We had a lovely female only swimming group that was for an hour once a week. There were lots of religious ladies there who only had that one hour as they couldn't be around men. One day a man appeared in a bikini, he got in and we all got out and the next week the swimming pool had to take that one hour off the list and make it general swimming.

His only motive was to take it away from those ladies. In a very tight bikini with a clearly outlined cock it certainly wasn't and couldn't have been to blend in as a woman.

Yes, back in my late teens my gym had a female only area. It was fantastic to be able to work out without men perving or mansplaining (a frequent occurance in the mixed section. One day a friend and I were the only women in the women's area when a man in a wig wearing fake breasts stood at the entrance just staring at us. At first we just ignored him because being woke uni students we thought he was new to transition and was just building up the courage to come in. For nearly our entire workout he just stared at us and we became increasingly more uncomfortable. In the end my friend got angry and told him to get out the women's area. Luckily he did without saying a word.

Another time a man was using the women's loos. He came out the cubicle and made eye contact with me. It took me by surprise how vulnerable I felt when it was just me and him in such a small space.