Has a man dressed as a woman ever come into a communal changing room with you or joined a specifically female group you belong to ?

[Rilkescat]

How common is it ? Not really referring to stories in the media but for everyday women on MN. FWIW I've never met a trans person that I know of, neither professionally or socially. I'm a HCP so meet alot of members of the public. None of my kids have friends that are trans nor do my friends have children that are either.
Loads of trans threads at the moment. No problem with that but just wondered if it really is that prevalent ?
Before I get flamed I'm not in favour of biological womens' safe spaces being open to biological men but equally I don't think that all trans people, especially trans women are necessarily sexually deviant or mentally ill.

The point is that the precedent needs to be set BEFORE disaster happens. That's the point of safeguarding. Identify the potential risk, and put strategies in place to reduce the risk. Not, wait till someone is abused, then start talking about it.
In answer to your question, have I ever seen a genuine TW? I don't know. The point is to get just want to blend in, so I wouldn't know. Have I ever seen a man in a dress clearly exploiting this? No. But, calls to trans help charities have gone up by 4000%, and now 1 in 9 American children are claiming to be trans. So, this is set to get much much worse unless it's stopped now.

Yes. In public toilets several times and at a sports club (football and netball). Uncomfortable in toilets. Fucking dangerous in sports.

Yes, a women's only exercise group

No to toilet, changing rooms and groups.

Yes to Many children identifying as trans. All autustic, mainly girls.

Yep in the queue for the toilets at a train station. Bad wig, Mini skirt, thigh high boots that he couldn’t walk in properly - I didn’t stay, not because I thought he’d attack me but because I’ve no intention of being used for the validation of a man’s fantasy without my consent

No.
What % of the population is trans? They say 1.5%, in the USA 2% is, if you only consider the group aged under 30.
Seems like a big current issue, over a minority issue. How about focusing on women? Generally, and how trans claims affect them. Because aren't women 1/2 the population?

Yes. One of the very first MTF , a stunning brave pioneer, tried to crash my 21st birthday party. At the time Person was mid thirties , but was hanging around the University with some nineteen year old gay male undergraduates.

I was friendly with someone whose father was a very prominent trans woman, another pioneer. It wasn’t a happy time in their life, and not because of other people’s opinions.

I was very well acquainted with a prominent trans activist . Better not say what I thought about the validity of that presentation

Finally, a MTF joined a woman’s organisation of which I was a member. Very performative, lectured us all about how we should behave, think, what we should be interested in doing etc…..that group just withered away.

I worked with a woman whose ex H had a sex change and she would bring him to our work nights out.
This was back in the 80s.

Yes - in a toilet. No attempt to look female. I walked in and instantly apologised as I thought I'd walked into the gents. I then got a full on abusive rant about people like me causing all the problems in the world. I left the loo shortly after them and they were high giving a mate and boasting about how the fun they'd had in the loo yelling at me.

No to both. I don’t think I’ve met a transperson, unless they’ve been genuine so I’ve not noticed. As opposed to a man in a dress practising that self ID nonsense.

High fiving not giving

I think focusing on this one bit is missing some major points

DD has encountered a few female to male teens at school. Without exception they are autistic or same sex attracted or both. It worries me deeply why being male is more acceptable than just being who they naturally are. Dd also saw how they reduced the female toilets to accommodate trans pupils, not the male, the female. She's more GC than I am

I do go to a (mixed sex club) with a trans woman. She is just a bloke in a skirt. I really don't understand how on earth she thinks her experience of life is remotely equitable to mine. Nice enough person though.

Also the toilet thing really doesn't acknowledge the concerns about female prison or sports, which are real and demonstratable

25 years ago I was a rape crisis volunteer and a male trans woman applied to be a volunteer. I remember us debating it but not whether they were accepted or not.

Also had men in women's toilets on a night out and it's not a pleasant experience to come out of a cubicle into a small room with just me and another man, knowing we're both probably drunk. Again NAMALT but I felt unsafe in that space with an unknown man

Me too, @RollerGirl7. I've experienced multiple sexual assaults, and I often use the women's toilets on nights out as a place to take a breather if a situation's got a bit triggering / much for me (guys not taking no for an answer, following me from place to place, holding my elbow while he talks to me, etc etc).

Walking down a long flight of stairs to a pub toilet and finding a man inside – loud music playing, just the two of us there, and him clearly inebriated – it scared me. And I felt particularly trapped then – both afraid to stay, and afraid to leave in case it angered him and led to something serious.

No, or at least not that I'm aware of.

Yes to both.

Clearly not-‘transitioned’ people in Women’s loos in restaurants.

The same at creative arts gatherings specifically formed to facilitate women’s progress in a female-hostile industry.

Yes quite a few times in toilets and changing rooms.

And a number of trans mtf and ftm in dd's year group.

I don't think all trans people are deviant.

I also don't want to share female only space with born males, no matter how they identify.

I don't want my safety put at risk.

I don't want to be forced to put up and shut up with no way of challenging.

I don't want to be forced into validating people's identity, which bears no resemblance to biological reality, particularly without my consent.

Same for my daughter.

Yes.
a couple of years ago dd, 10, went to the loo in ikea while I waited outside. When she came out she said there was a strange man dressed as woman trying to talk to people, she was frightened. I stopped letting her go the loo unaccompanied for a few years - it’s awful that we can’t assume that there won’t be men in our safe spaces anymore.

My DC is in year 6 and has a trans girl in his class. They've been dressing as a girl since year 4.

And of course loads in the dcs schools!

Yes, a non binary gender / male sex person who dresses in typically female clothes joined a group I was in, which was aimed at women doing a hobby which is usually dominated by men. They asked for the group name to be changed to 'non men' rather than 'women'. And got their wish.

Yes, toilets at work.

also online female groups I’m in and got weird and pervy talking about their saddle sores and genitals

This, 100% this.

But to answer your question, yes in a toilet in a nightclub. Women were very uncomfortable, discussed him after he left but none of us said anythimg about our discomfort to him. Be kind is too deeply ingrained.

I’m a lesbian, and yes, pretty much every lesbian Meetup I’ve been to have had one or several blokes who claim they are women in attendance. I find there presence distressing and upsetting to the point where it makes me very reluctant to attend.

Nipped to Tesco yesterday for a few bits, person serving me was trans. Just getting on with their day earning money. To imagine they would possibly then go to a changing room or public bog to get their jollies is unthinkable. They were most just cracking on with their life.