The title of your memoir is the last text you sent

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Inspired by the ridiculousness of mine.

“There’s a pube on my bloody donut”

sure, attach the go kart and give Maggie a ride

Tamahotchi for £15

"I'll be on time if I can use your loo"

"Sorry, I forgot!"

Mine is a lot less interesting. It's "Ooh, that's a bargain"!

DS's giant snowball is in the freezer waiting for summer.

Have you set Saturday Night Takeaway to record?

And Yes, It Was In The Corner Of Our Bedroom

Ok love xx

Not going to be a bestseller with that title..,

"Dare I ask?"

$5 for you GI

"Sorry just got here, but wet"

No, that's fine

"Fine"

I don't think it really draws the reader in.

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername

DS's giant snowball is in the freezer waiting for summer.

I too have a snowball in my freezer!!

OK

Such a narcissist. So angry!!

Should We Test?

"Toilets"

4 times I’ve changed that litter tray today xxx

It's hard

I'll find out and let you know

Spring-like in the forest today

I'm quite pleased with mine
"The gutters are damaged"

Hello sorry