The title of your memoir is the last text you sent

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Inspired by the ridiculousness of mine.

“There’s a pube on my bloody donut”

Can you pick up (our daughters name) at 6.30?

Issues with Teams-with you in five

That actually has been the story of my life these past two years!

What’s the address?

#boring

It works for a bit and then drops off

I remember sex on the sofa ...

Hangover ??

😂
“The shit bin’s flown away!”
That works for me.

Mine’s....apt!

The Yorkshire Witch. (It’s a shop).

Go around the front and ring the bell

Ha!

"Does he need feeding?"

I could add "Chronicles of a dog Grandma."

Your so bad!

“Yup, I mean no words!”

Kind of makes sense!

Shit!

Mine's a ninja emoji. 🥷

But if you want words, it's "As far as I could see."

“I’ll pack plenty of nice snacks”.

Absolutely perfect and sums me up nicely

He keeps sticking it back his throat and gagging 🙈🤣🤣🤣

As I repeatedly told you 7.30

'You'll be glad you did it when you're eating your cake'

"Happy birthday! Glad you liked the necklace! Have a lovely meal tonight!"

Rubbish title for a memoir - I think my penultimate text would be better -

"Fingers crossed"

Ok?

You have to wonder about the culture they’re raised in (reference is to the drama of the women’s figure skating at the Olympics)

This looks infected.

Sorry, that's it sent now.

I’m on the way! Just left now

"The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet" - I'm happy with that as a title