The title of your memoir is the last text you sent

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Inspired by the ridiculousness of mine.

“There’s a pube on my bloody donut”

I don’t think you meant chips chips, as in the sort I eat with mayo, sadly, I think you mean wood chips .

Probably best I spend tomorrow on the sofa, just to be safe.

"House is a tip. I don’t feel well so I’ll sort it in the morning. Hope you’ve had a good night x"

I'm recovering from covid and had 2 cups of ground coffee today. I don't usually drink any caffeine. I don't know which has made me ill, possibly both.

Dh is at a gig so I text him that hoping he doesn't think I'm a lazy bitch who can't be bothered to clear away after dinner.

Writing now I realise he won't give a shit lol

A better title for my memoir "whatever, he won't give a shit anyway (but in a good way)"

Going to lose by an innings.

I'm off to bed, night night!

AND WE WILL SOON

"Very rude."

I think that sums it up unsettlingly well tbh.

White chocolate

Evening

🥱

On my way but road is blocked
(probably quite apt for my life!!)

"Yam?"

Can you get the names of the Ukraine family your friend in touch with? We are trying to sponsor the family. Please tell them about our dogs as the website only says “pets”

@A580Hojas

"Dare I ask?"

I would buy that!

Mine is: "Fuck. I've just tested positive."

Please buy me Buttons on your way home

"Yep"

Now fuck off!!

S. 1 k wS