Has mumsnet changed your opinion on anything

[potentiallyme]

So many people seem so set in their ways. Have you ever changed your beliefs/opinions/actions/outlook because of something you have come across on Mumsnet.
Relationship/affairs/family/politics/work/finances? Anything at all that's made you stop and see a different point of view and take it on board?

Only that there are a lot more loons around than I previously thought

That I have huge judgey pants! But now I am aware of it I’m trying to address

Greater awareness of the trans/ feminism debate defo & not being a walk over/ accepting continual empty promises. I probably would have stayed in a miserable marriage tbh without some frank talk from mumsnetters.

The relationships board has been an unpleasant revelation. It’s opened my eyes in a depressing way to how many women are trapped in unhappy, unequal relationships because they’re deskilled longterm SAHMs with little or no access to money — and in a not insignificant number of posts on here, don’t even realise there’s any other way of living than with a surly, selfish sexist.

Yes, I’ve found the feminism boards really enlightening.

I wish that my mum, when she was struggling to bring up my adhd brother with absolutely no support, could have had access to a site like Mumsnet because it would have really helped her to feel less isolated and to connect with other mums in the same situation.

Awareness of protecting my finances irrespective of how much I love my partner.

The relationships board has shown me how much people get fucked over when a relationship ends.

And it often is WHEN not IF.

You've always got to plan for the worst, meaning

• prioritise your own career, don't go down to part time or quit
• get married before having kids if you're going to be the lower earner
• make sure name is on the deed to the house or rental agreement t
• have your own savings account that OH doesn't have access to
• work our household expenses fairly.

Other people will think of more I'm sure.

I have learnt a lot about a lot of things. I had no idea about some of the shit people live with every day and how life can grind you down. It's made me more empathetic. I think a lot more about why people might behave in certain ways. I have a much better understanding of why people vote the way they do. I'm basically a SAHM and it's thanks to relationship threads and advice given that I'm financially safe should my marriage go pear shaped. I will also make sure I'm an ace MiL and will not interfere in how my grandchildren (if I have any) are brought up unless their safety is compromised.

Echo the feminist board comments. Such interesting intelligence comments on there. I've learned such a lot.

Am also planning on making notes in my will to ensure my boys receive my share of the family home should I die before my husband and then he remarry. Having read some of the sad inheritance stories on here.

I was already muttering about the trans piece but really got fully ranty when Maya Forstater first posted on here. The idea that you could lose your job for saying men have a penis and women don't enraged me.

Its also made me aware that I'm much lower class than I thought I was 😂. I have toilet brushes in all three loos. I use a washing up bowl
I too hate unexpected visitors (unless they're my mates then I love them). I don't wash my towels daily and never will. But I realised I'm probably much more judged than I realised about the state of my home so have stopped inviting the judgy types.

Definitely the Feminism boards. Full of such fiercely intelligent women and it's dreadful that it's treated like the naughty step of the site.

MN hasn't changed my opinion on things but it has honed my views.

The feminism board has been a real eye-opener in terms of gender ideology and trans issues. It has helped put into words my gut feelings on these issues.
I am always amazed how much support, both practical and emotional, mnetters offer, particularly in the relationships topic. There are some truly supportive and clued in women out there.

Oh yes, loads of things!

I had a totally wet view on relationships and my expectations of men. That went right out the window!

Definitely became more feminist and more radical in my feminism thanks to MN.

Some parenting stuff. Used to be very hard-line on certain things, like belonging to this or that parenting camp. I'm a bit more go with the flow now and don't think it actually matters that much. Pick a parenting style that works for you.

It's changed my view on money. I used to think 20k was a lofty ambition I could never aim for, now I think that's still an amazing achievement but I have set my sights even higher and believe I can make it.

Used to be fairly antivax. Thanks to MN not censoring vaccine discussions on here I learned a lot and it's one of the sources that steered me away from the antivax stuff (this is a decade before covid).

Used to think all right wing people were just crazy or selfish. MN has opened my mind on that one.

Used to think car seats were overpriced and silly and you should get the cheapest you can find. I now find car seats fascinating examples of engineering (an aware this is very boring!) And spend my days trying to decipher the mess of all that plus regs etc for parents. (The motto, most expensive isn't necessarily best, but there is a point where they are too cheap).

Was anti abortion particularly for myself but probably a bit in general. MN taught me why that viewpoint is flawed and I'm 100% pro choice in every circumstance now.

Used to think ADHD was probably made up or just something that affected little boys. After a while realised that descriptions of it sounded like me and now I'm diagnosed :o one of the best decisions of my life!

So many ways being here has influenced my thinking and informed me out of a position of ignorance. It's why I keep coming back.

I got sucked into The Classics, found Relationships a complete eye opener (I wish I’d found it when I was going through a divorce) and the Feminism board has been an education!
It has helped my clarify my views on a range of issues, work, pregnancy, motherhood, women rights and the current hot topic - gender ideology.
I’d already had a feeling that society was slipping into a weirdly more sexist and illiberal era, led ironically by the woke left, but these boards help me see it more clearly.

It has also made me realise how awesome women are! I’m so very proud of our sex 😊

"I'm so very proud of our sex"
*
^^* This, in spades.

Mumsnet has changed me - fundamentally. The sex based rights debate, relationships, work, ageing, parenting. It has helped me understand myself and the world around me with a clarity I never had before. I feel seen and understood and that I'm part of a big movement. It has radicalised my feminism. I love it.

Until I started reading the feminist board I was barely aware of Trans issues, let alone the clear and present danger resulting from certain trans rights becoming accepted and normalised. Many of my friends are still either oblivious or cannot comprehend the real life implications of TWAW. Without MN, I would not have had the confidence to challenge ordinary males who walk into female toilets just because they think they can because some idiot management has added a 'gender neutral' designation to the prominent Ladies symbol.

Secondly, until reading the Relationship board, I had no idea how prevalent shitty men's behaviour is and how much crap some women put up with. Nor did I realise how many wonen put themselves at a serious disadvantage by having children with men they are not married to and who seem to treat parenthood as a part time hobby which they can abandon at any time that suits them, leaving the mother to pick up all the pieces and shouldering all responsibilities alone. Sometimes without even getting child maintenance - I did not know how incompetent the authorities are in pursuing these feckless fathers.

Finally, the inequality in terms of earnings, household responsibilities and mental load, the casual and entitled selfishness of many men, and the coercive control and downright abuse that I read about are totally shocking to me.

The truth about domestic violence. I've been happily single for years and have never been in an abusive relationship. I'm a bit ashamed to say I was never particularly sympathetic to abused women, I thought that they knew what these men were like but got involved with them anyway. I had absolutely no idea of how abusive men actually behave. I have read many posts on here about it and it's been a real eye opener. Someone (sorry, can't remember who) added a link to the Lundy Bancroft novel and I spent some time reading it. It was chilling.

Most of the time it cemented my opinions, by giving me chance to hear the other side and test my thoughts with them, but it changed my mind on the importance of single sex spaces and my feelings on instant affirmation while children are experimenting with gender identity.

MN has opened my eyes to the flipside of twaw.

Not MN but a predecessor board changed my view on abortion to pro-choice. There was a doctor on there who was endlessly kind and patient, and got me past my blinkered, sheltered view.

Yes absolutely. The feminism boards and the trans debate. How the needs of women are stifled to make way for the wants of men and then we’re called bigots to boot.

Surrogacy; it’s a human rights violation in my opinion and nothing more than the buying and selling of woman's bodies and babies. I didn’t think this before, I had the privilege of thinking it was just kind altruistic people helping others and I have no thought to the needs of the baby.

Relationships; so many women being screwed over after years sacrificing their career.

The coronavirus boards made me question the humanity of many posters.

That everyone has a different idea of what rich is.
That people have their own way of doing things and even though it would never be my way, their way is their way.
I spend too much unnecessarily.
There are a huge amount of men who don't want sex, I always thought it was more a woman thing. Also to see what it is like from the point of view of someone who wants sex and doesn't get it.
How things that don't hurt me or would not bother me can greatly bother other people whether or not I deem them silly and vice versa.

My teenagers are normal even though I thought they were fuckers.

I am learning so much about Autism that I had no clue about before.

I am also learning not to sweat the small stuff, to relax in some of my rigid thinking, to give myself a break occasionally and to give myself a kick up the hole too.

Oh yes, surrogacy as well. And prostitution. The commoditisation of women's bodies to serve male desires. We are horrified at The Handmaidens Tale and yet modern life seems to be heading that way.

@spondoolikay

Mumsnet has changed me - fundamentally. The sex based rights debate, relationships, work, ageing, parenting. It has helped me understand myself and the world around me with a clarity I never had before. I feel seen and understood and that I'm part of a big movement. It has radicalised my feminism. I love it.

This,

The Relationships board has completely changed my view of women in bad relationships and what are red flags and patterns of behaviour. I'll admit I was a 'Boys will be boys' type but reading other womens experiences has changed really opened my eyes.

The Feminism board has completely opened my eyes and put me back in touch with my feminism of my youth, but also made me question the commodification of women's bodies and how damaging that is to society as a whole.

I have completely changed my views I used to be pro so called sex work, surrogacy, pornography and self id for trans people. Engaging with the brilliant women of FWR both on line and now in real life has made me think very differently.