Has mumsnet changed your opinion on anything

[potentiallyme]

So many people seem so set in their ways. Have you ever changed your beliefs/opinions/actions/outlook because of something you have come across on Mumsnet.
Relationship/affairs/family/politics/work/finances? Anything at all that's made you stop and see a different point of view and take it on board?

I have had good advice on property-related issues.
Very quick replies when I needed to deal wih something urgently.

I found that some don't read the OP properly.

I found that some people have strange ideas

The peri menopause- what it is and recognising my own experience. Made me more likely to ask for help.

Cleanliness - I wash sheets etc, clean or iron much less than average but I am happy about that

The biggest gathering of women in history.

Wow, yes.

MN has had a huge impact on my life. It's shocked me, shaken me, broken my heart on occasion and taught me much about courage, solidarity, self reliance and critical thinking. I've learned more about domestic violence and how to support women here than anywhere else. And yes, saw the folly of my waffly libfem ways and the sense and reasoning and practical application of much radical feminism.

MN has retrospectively completely changed my view of various movements and people who had previously been dismissed - and most of all it's taught me not, ever, to listen to people who tell me not to listen to others. Now, I do the opposite, I seek out evidence and go and learn for myself. Intellectual laziness is an easy habit to fall into- I hope MN has largely cured me of that and taught me to be sceptical, curious, bolder and to have the courage of my convictions.

The feminist board has been the engine that has powered a new feminist movement in the UK. A phenomenal thing, really.

The feminist board has been the engine that has powered a new feminist movement in the UK. A phenomenal thing, really.

@Wouldof

I learned that Spoony Fuckers exist outside of my household, and what they are called.

That made me go hunting for the original spoonyfucker thread, which turned out to be by @Honeydragon in 2012.

It’s got imaginative uses for kitchen utensils, Center Parcs, bums, zombies, suggestions for MNHQ and random recipe ideas. And fuckers, obviously. I don’t know why it’s not in Classics.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1615049-Sigh-I-have-to-stick-a-wooden-spoon-up-dhs-arse-dont-I

I commented earlier saying the feminist board is responsible for my GC views and stance against prostitution, porn, and surrogacy.

But this thread has really got me thinking about how much MN influences what I think. It's not than just a "parenting forum", it's a place to interact and exchange ideas with often very witty, intelligent, experienced women.

MN is mostly my go to for anything I want to know: need a chocolate cake recipe, should I keep colouring my hair or let it go gray, why is my DC doing xyz, how much money constitutes a good pension, should I get a robot vacuum, what is this tree, what should I feed my dog, is X a good place to holiday and what shouldn't I miss, how can I get rid of age spots, what did people think of Nancy Kelley's interview on Women's Hour, what podcast / book should I try next, how much should an extension cost, are these boots out of style, plus the hours upon hours of reading AIBU for entertainment.

I don't think I'd admit it in real life, but MN is my go to for advice on quite a lot.

Justine really should put together a MN feminism gc book and dedicate it to Dittany Lang Cleg etc

I changed my opinion that staying in my marriage to a controlling, abusive man was a good idea. I honestly don't think I would have ended it without the very articulate and direct opinions on my situation given by the wise ones on here. They got me to see things that I couldn't then unsee. And several years later I've never been happier.

I also thank MN for the feminist boards. Like many PPs my eyes were opened and I am able to think critically about things I previously felt uncomfortable with but couldn't put my finger on why.

Thank you Mumsnetters!

The feminism board for me as well.

Pornography, surrogacy, gender ideology - all things I had never thought much about before

hennybeans me too. If I want to know about pretty much anything, I Google the name of the thing I want to know more about followed by mumsnet.

Mumsnet women are my type of women. I want to know what mumsnet women think of the thing I am interested in buying, visiting etc

@SockFluffInTheBath

The feminist board has been the engine that has powered a new feminist movement in the UK. A phenomenal thing, really.

Agree and it's wonderful to behold.

You know when you have traction when the shit starts flying.

MN FWR gets targeted because they know it's a powerhouse of many women with a broad range of experiences/professions.

@GotBeatenUp

The men who do it are often those you would least expect. As far as I knew I had a wonderful partner.

Then one day there was this overweight ugly man punching and kicking me.

All I have are bad memories. He had planned to do it.

When I posted on MN about it a lot of the replies were vile. Things like 'Have you no boundaries?' and a lot worse

How was that going to help me?

People can be horrible

I'm really sorry that was your experience.

I've seen many, many supportive threads re: domestic violence but there are sadly still some posters who engage on this subject without any understanding of how women find themselves in this situation and how difficult it is to extricate themselves from it.

I hope you're in a better place now

Definitely encouraged me to retrain and get into the workforce sooner rather than later. My husband is lovely but seeing so many other SAHM's being screwed over by their previously lovely husbands has made me see that earning my own money is ESSENTIAL and relying on a man isn't a plan.

Mumsnet opened my eyes to gratuitous wankery and taught me that quite a lot of people take pleasure in being contrary and disagreeable arseholes.

Definitely this, and also this:

The often unaware man hating and immediate victim mentality in any circumstance has really turned me off support for feminist groups. So many are just so one eyed here.

A poster on this forum gave me a telling off about a decade ago when I was rabidly complaining someone of my generation couldn't buy a house on a minimum wage job.

It prompted me to look further into it; if anything to prove they were wrong.

They were right. And I am very grateful for that 'sort your life' out speech. If I hadn't had that there and then at that exact moment; when young and foot loose enough to move back in with family and then move to a cheap area - then I might have ended up in the rent cycle and really never being able to buy.

I messaged them when I exchanged and forever grateful to them. Lost the account so lost contact but if your out there... Thankyou

pelvic floors.

That funny physio used to post and I follow her on social media and she reminds me to do my exercises.

(jumps up and down because I can)

I’ve realised how broke we are compared to the MN population. I.e we can’t afford new furniture/ Xmas presents for each other/holidays each year, even in the U.K. (I’ve heard people saying they spend more than my income each month on food for the same family number !). We came from low income families so it was the norm. However, since were both lucky and have degrees etc, we’ve had a chat and now we’re working towards making achievable career goals and upping our incomes - not to MN standards - but hopefully we can start to look for a better financial life that I’m not sure would have happened if I hadn’t realised that there’s an alternative to worrying about putting food on the table.

I came here originally to get advice on what buggy to buy and quickly learned that I was looking for a travel system.

Over the years I have also learned to feel slightly less guilty over parenting decisions, such as reins, food, etc. The type of things that you thought were a big issue at the time but in the grand scheme of life really weren’t.

I have also gained an appreciation of other people’s lives, from the ongoing racism to extreme poverty realising that whilst I don’t come from a remotely wealthy background I did have a privileged one.

I used to avoid the Fwr pages as I was firmly of the be kind mentality. But not anymore, these articulate women have really opened my eyes to the threat to women, our single sex spaces and the powerful tra lobby.

And no they are not anti men, many are in loving relationships like me but happen to know that we as women face threats all the time from men who will use any loophole to continue their predatory ways.

Whilst I always considered myself a feminist, I realise that there is still a lot to be done and try to help in my own little way.

Which takes me to the gardening section and the plant id, the tips and advice I have received helping me create a beautiful garden.

I think that overall mumsnet has helped open my eyes from my own little bubble and be less judgmental.

I used to think that the majority of people were likely to be reasonable and sensible, MN has taught me that there is a much higher percentage of willfully ignorant and bat shot crazy than I ever thought existed.

It has also demonstrated that there are many kind, caring and helpful people online who will do their best to genuinely help total strangers.

I guess for me it has amplified the best and worst of human nature.

Ending up here changed my mind about mumsnet. It was only something I’d heard about in passing or the media before and usually with negative connotations. I ended up here in the midst of post partum anxiety after some frantic google searching about anything and everything. I lurked for a long time and found great reassurance in many threads. Recently decided to bite the bullet and have an account and now enjoy reading threads from so many of the boards. People and their experiences are just truly fascinating and I love it here.

@Redshoeblueshoe

LangCleg . . . . .

Missed so very much. I could have cried when she was banned, except for her cereal madness.

@RedCarpetRebellion

Justine really should put together a MN feminism gc book and dedicate it to Dittany Lang Cleg etc

Yep.

Yes! Soooo many things. Definitely on toxic relationships. I've had a lot of advice about a family member who really isn't a good person. I haven't gone NC with them, but I don't feel guilty about going pretty low contact and having strong boundaries (eg they don't come and stay with me anymore). My life is so much better and I'm really grateful I found Mumsnet, (why do I sound as if I'm on a TV ad for Mumsnet )?!

Mumsnet has made me realise that there's no point arguing with stupid!

It has changed my views on dating and relationships (though I still won’t be bothering with either).

I’ve also learned that a lot of people really struggle with the basics of grammar and punctuation.