Has mumsnet changed your opinion on anything

[potentiallyme]

So many people seem so set in their ways. Have you ever changed your beliefs/opinions/actions/outlook because of something you have come across on Mumsnet.
Relationship/affairs/family/politics/work/finances? Anything at all that's made you stop and see a different point of view and take it on board?

@Somebodylikeyew

The feminism board on here is an absolute jewel of the internet, particularly the threads around being gender critical.

This is amazing.

I honestly thought FWR had been consigned to the proverbial bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard.”

But nooo. 🥂

I've often wondered what it must have been like to be part of key moments in history that shape the "now" and for the first time I feel I'm living in that space where what we do (or don't do) is going to have a profound impact on the next generation of women"

Absolutely @BreadInCaptivity! And I sense that we are at the start of a massive sea change in how people think about women's rights. We definitely seem to be back pedalling from the cusp of some awful ideology designed to fuck women over (I'm tired, not very articulate!) and it's women's voices who are responsible for this sea change, and MNers shout the loudest

In recent years, DDs (and a lot of their friends, teen and young adult women) have gone from agreeing that yes of course men are entitled to women's places because feels, to saying "actually no, fuck off" and even buying their own stickers

I of course am taking all the credit for raising their consciousness(es?) as I am clearly such a wonderful feminist role model but it's MN that raised my consciousness first.

I have had some really complicated issues, with no clear cut right or wrongs, and Mumsnet has been extremely beneficial in seeing the pros and cons of a variety of options, and values to be placed on them. I am so so grateful.

It also led me to understand what is coercive control, which has been life changing in terms of my decision making since then

Pink News looking for some radical views in an attempt to make excuses for Nancy Kelly on Woman's Hour today?

@Twocrabs30

I have had some really complicated issues, with no clear cut right or wrongs, and Mumsnet has been extremely beneficial in seeing the pros and cons of a variety of options, and values to be placed on them. I am so so grateful.

It also led me to understand what is coercive control, which has been life changing in terms of my decision making since then

I have also found, in situations like that, the very act of writing an OP outlining the situation and trying to make it "neutral" has been incredibly helpful in itself.

There is nothing like asking yourself "AIBU and what would MN say to this" to make you weigh things up properly, and sometimes realise you're being a dick before you act impetuously (I may be thinking of lots of PFB cringy threads ) but also complicated situations, sometimes we are too "close" to our own problems to solve them and writing it down for fresh eyes, is just as valuable as the opinions from fresh eyes.

I guess we are the modern equivalent of "man on the Clapham omnibus"?!

Lovely as this thread is, I'm intrigued as to why OP started it.

Has mumsnet changed your opinion on anything @potentiallyme?

That it's fine to be introverted, and there are quite a few of us.

Feminism and why women shouldn't rely on men.

Also, it's the first (and only) chat forum I use and I have to credit it with me having good, adaptable tech skills. A lot of people think MN is just fluff, but actually learning how to navigate a website like this has been really useful and made my whole tech life much easier.

It occurred to me a while back that this is the biggest gathering of women in history. All talking and sharing their experiences.

Thank you Datun for saying this. It is so powerful and so true.

Yes, I now get the anger about the whole TWAW thing which I hadn't given much thought to previously.

I also realise how some people have truly toxic parents thanks to the stately homes thread. I remember years ago reading "A child called It" and not really believing that a mother would do that to a child - to pick out a scapegoat. I now understand that it's quite a common tactic of fucked up parents.

Understanding autism was hugely changing just for me being a member of society to start with, then when my own dc was flashed as possible asd it was utterly invaluable and made the 'scary possibility' into more of a manageable situation. So so grateful for that.

No not really. In contrast to many here I’d say I’ve found the feminism board to be full of angry nutters who make me less inclined to take notice of feminist issues.

The feminism boards, as others have said I now feel informed (and outraged) about the eroding of women's rights.

The relationships board has taught me to not let my DH take the piss. I'm stronger and have pushed for him to take more of the mental (and physical) load at home.

Like a pp said, I'm also now far more aware of the importance of financial independence, which I have from my DH (we share all finances but I work full time so if I wanted to go I could) but I now teach my very young DD that she always needs to maintain financial independence from any future partners. I hope she listens!

BertieBotts
I had a totally wet view on relationships and my expectations of men. That went right out the window!

Same here.
Maybe it was pressure from friends, family, society, but I always thought that I had to accept lower standards from men in order to have a relationship and not be lonely. And this was normal.

But the relationship board has really changed my opinion and I will not accept anything less than my high standards.

I'd rather be single forever than accept any abusive, toxic relationship

Shout out for the Elderly parents board. It's informed me, and massively improved the lives of my elderly parents (who don't even know MN exists )

Feminism boards for me too.

Learning about the conflict between trans ideology and women’s rights on Mumsnet led me to become an active feminist.

@GeodesicDome

Shout out for the Elderly parents board. It's informed me, and massively improved the lives of my elderly parents (who don't even know MN exists )

That's brilliant!

I wish Mumsnet had been around 40 years ago.

Me too. On the plus side, it’s broadened my thinking in so many ways. The Feminism and Relationships boards have been a revelation, and the Westminstenders (Brexit) threads a political education. On the minus side, I had no idea that so many people really hate teachers.

The feminist boards changed my mind about porn, "sex work" and surrogacy but generally MN has been an education on many issues I was ignorant about. Often things I had not thought that much about and had a fairly uninformed opinion on.

I enjoy having my world view challenged and even if my mind isn't changed about an issue my thinking about it is.

I'd say it's really helped me to develop boundaries.

The Relationships board really calls out sexist, entitled behaviour and tells how good it is to be single. Chat helped clarify boundaries with an overreaching parent.

The professionalism of Mumsnet women helped me realise that I wasn't being professional in work and to up my game. I feel it has been empowering generally.

Basically:

• when someone shows you who they are, believe them
• no is a complete sentence
• not my circus

Been on here for almost 10 years now, mainly lurking but mumsnet opened my mind on so many issues, mainly the feminism board too. It gave a voice to vague feelings I had, and made me confident to been open about my views. Passed them onto to my mum, sister and some friends, so feels invaluable to me.

I came for the feminism cos back then this was the only place that let us discuss certain issues. But along the way I discovered I wasnt quite the shit parent I believed.

Which helps because reasons.

@BoreOfWhabylon

Lovely as this thread is, I'm intrigued as to why OP started it.

Has mumsnet changed your opinion on anything @potentiallyme?

Not really, I kind of try to not rock boats. Will be taking time to read through the feminism boards as it seems to of had such positive effects on posters so who knows my own thread may very well be the thing on Mumsnet that changed my way of thinking smile 😀

Yep the feminist board. Another sleeping ‘be kind’ woman who thought the job was done and is waking up to a handmaids tale journey. Where beardy men declaring their pronouns are calling us bigots for trying to protect ourselves and our daughters. And politicians are calling us dinosaurs. Well fuck them.

Yes on feminism but from the opposite viewpoint. That whilst I am wholly supportive of women's rights, the sheer hatred of men and victim mentality I see on here has made me push the other way.

@Mouseonmychair

Yes on feminism but from the opposite viewpoint. That whilst I am wholly supportive of women's rights, the sheer hatred of men and victim mentality I see on here has made me push the other way.

So you’re actively undermining women’s rights now because you don’t like attitudes on one particular forum? Well, that’s a wel-thought-through position.