Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Things I learned too late in life

578 replies

Spiceup · 06/11/2021 22:03

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long. Grin

What's yours?

OP posts:
RantyAunty · 07/11/2021 19:31

Wear sunscreen.
Stretching daily will help prevent stiff joints and aches

Keeping your head down doing your job won't get you promoted as no one will notice. Keep your boss updated on your achievements and how you're adding value.

Mellowyellow222 · 07/11/2021 19:31

That fake tan is unnecessary and looks rubbish! I learnt in my twenties - but wish I knew this in my teens.

That you don’t have to stay in toxic friendships.

That you don’t need your parents approval for everything. I was forty before I got a cat because I knew my prenatal didn’t approve. WFT 😂😂. I am a company director with my own house. I did still get a lecture

Lunaduckdrop · 07/11/2021 19:33

These are mine:

You should have fun with your hair while you're young.

You should look after your teeth, eyes and use spf 50 on your face and neck

Most men are quite lazy and go for jobs that show permanent results rather than the day-to-day drudgery

Children are great, grandchildren even greater

Even after 50 years of "equal pay" the world is still quite sexist and women disadvantaged

Chocolate is addictive

Being outdoors is lovely and the wind is exhilarating

TSSDNCOP · 07/11/2021 19:34

That you get more flies with honey than vinegar. Having cottoned on and made quite small adjustments I am soaring at work. Total fake out, but works like a charm.

132orbust · 07/11/2021 19:35

@Bollindger

Being a good mum is great, but your children don't really see what you did or care. Live your life for you.
I don't agree with this - from my experience they do see and they do care. I suppose it depends on the ages of your DC but at 17 and 19 ( and really from 15ish they do). I often see in the way they care for and speak with DH and I and indeed each other our parenting reflected back. DD1 has gone back to Uni today after her first visit home in this her second year and I received the following text: I love you so much. thank you for always loving me and supporting me with everything xx When I went for an interview and she knew I was really nervous I found a note in my pocket ( written on her best Hello Kitty post it notes Grin - she was 9) and it said: Even if you don't do the job mummy I think you are great. It gave me such confidence as I had been a SAHM for 5 years. They do see and they do care.
Gwenhwyfar · 07/11/2021 19:35

"That fake tan is unnecessary and looks rubbish! I learnt in my twenties - but wish I knew this in my teens."

No, no, no, my face looks much healthier with the tanning drops. I do regret the sunbeds of my youth.

Snugglepumpkin · 07/11/2021 19:36

No man who loves you will expect you to do anything to help him that disadvantages you.

No woman should be without her own personal bank account, lines of credit (to keep her credit history good not to get in debt, but handy if you have to leave a bad situation too) & career with a chance of advancement.

Most of the people that you meet in school, college, work or random life are people you will never meet again so who cares what they think about your 'stupid' (to them because it's not what they would do) idea to retrain/try something/attempt to be happy.

132orbust · 07/11/2021 19:37

Sorry I missed the point of the thread with my previous post.

So mine is - you need a lot less material things than you think you do - objects clutter your house and mind.

StCharlotte · 07/11/2021 19:39

That prosecco is not my friend. It still hasn't sunk in.

AngelinaFibres · 07/11/2021 19:40

That art and music are for everyone. Listen to every type of music ,visit every type of exhibition. Some of it you will like and some of it will leave you cold. Every now and then something you see or something you hear will fill your soul. You don't have to understand what you are looking at ,the feeling it gives you will fill your heart. Don't let anyone put you off.

Howdidigetsoold · 07/11/2021 19:42

Never put your job before your family - they will fire you as soon as you aren’t useful.

Agree with the do I like them philosophy rather than do they like me

Get rid of toxic friends - if they are taking up all your time you will have no space for good friends.

Life is short - stop putting things off

Plant more flowers

Try to be positive - everyone has bad days/months/years but try to end the day thinking of at least one good thing that happened - even if it’s just you had a really nice cup of tea

TowandaForever · 07/11/2021 19:46

@Bollindger

Being a good mum is great, but your children don't really see what you did or care. Live your life for you.
That's really interesting. Don't think I've heard someone say that before.

I'd be interested to know more?

ThePlumVan · 07/11/2021 20:01

The sooner you start ticking off your bucket list, the happier you’ll be.

Also, some people just won’t like you, and that’s ok.

georgarina · 07/11/2021 20:02

Not too late, but it's better to pursue your own interests and strengths when it comes to a career, not think you have to do something conventional.

I was always very artistic and gifted in the arts but was discouraged by my parents because that wasn't a 'proper' career, so I limped along doing jobs I wasn't good at or interested in because I thought that was the only way I'd have a proper career.

As soon as I abandoned that and did what I was actually good at, my career finally started.

TMChappyascanbe · 07/11/2021 20:02

That you can leave a relationship/marriage simply because you are unhappy.

You don't have to allow people to abuse you just because they are family.

Living alone is The Best!!!

georgarina · 07/11/2021 20:03

@TSSDNCOP

That you get more flies with honey than vinegar. Having cottoned on and made quite small adjustments I am soaring at work. Total fake out, but works like a charm.
Do you have any examples? Just asking as I am trying to develop a better 'bedside manner'!
Cloudyzebra · 07/11/2021 20:03

Mine was that I should extend the same kindness to myself that I do to other people. I spent years mentally calling myself all the names under the sun, and it was a revelation when it finally occurred to me that I would never speak to anyone else like that, and maybe I should stop doing it to myself!

mousehole · 07/11/2021 20:06

This reply has been withdrawn

withdrawn at poster's request

Hoptoit1 · 07/11/2021 20:08

That my siblings won't always have my back even when I've had theirs time and time again.

LanaDelBoy · 07/11/2021 20:10

@TSSDNCOP

That you get more flies with honey than vinegar. Having cottoned on and made quite small adjustments I am soaring at work. Total fake out, but works like a charm.
But... why do you want flies? Smile
AngelinaFibres · 07/11/2021 20:11

@georgarina

Not too late, but it's better to pursue your own interests and strengths when it comes to a career, not think you have to do something conventional.

I was always very artistic and gifted in the arts but was discouraged by my parents because that wasn't a 'proper' career, so I limped along doing jobs I wasn't good at or interested in because I thought that was the only way I'd have a proper career.

As soon as I abandoned that and did what I was actually good at, my career finally started.

This. I was a people/parent pleaser. So stupid to recreate someone else's life to gain their approval.
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 07/11/2021 20:14

If everyone wants something different and can't agree then just do whatever the hell YOU WANT.
that way at least one person is happy!

RB68 · 07/11/2021 20:19

Don't be afraid to change even big decisions, and make the decision and sleep on it before carrying it out.

Don't use food, drink, drugs or alcohol as props.

Good skin care and sun lotion and as well as face and neck include decolatage and forearms

Look after you skeleton health - lift properly and don't put your back at risk

Financial Discipline is important as is budgeting even if you have plenty - use money wisely. As a woman maintain your financial freedom and independence and don't let anyone take over the management etc

Speak up and out. Don't be a doormat or a step up for others put yourself foreward

Learn how to DIY and err DIY

Embroidery · 07/11/2021 20:23

Women are mean and you dont have to follow their myriad of rules.
Sorry for saying that on here xx

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 07/11/2021 20:26

@Embroidery

Women are mean and you dont have to follow their myriad of rules. Sorry for saying that on here xx
@Embroidery

are you a man or a woman?

if you are a man then I'll consider this post ill-informed and goady.
if you are a woman then by your own definition you are mean too