Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

@50ShadesOfCatholic

😂 at the flask mystery. Maybe the original flask hack poster didn't use a flask previously? Bought coffee instead of taking it? Or didn't warm it first? Will we ever know...

Yep. I take hot chocolate to football if we are going to want it an hour or so later - no way do I warm the flats in face I have to empty it into the mug at least 2/3 - 5 minutes on a morning and pour it out ready so he can drink it - if going 7 am to 4 pm then just I warm first

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

What is this yearly maintenance of door and window handles? I am fifty seven and have opened doors and windows all my life with no maintenance beyond the odd screw tightening every few years

Also in my 50s and ditto.

Also, is there more than one way to use a flask? We need more..

Ooh, I sort of know this one! FiL does something to do with doors and windows and often talks about the importance of oiling hinges and doing other maintenance things as it massively extends the life of your windows. Not going to lie, I don’t always listen, but it’s definitely a thing in window circles.

The things I’ve learned are that if you try and please everyone, then they get really angry with you if you ever try to say no. But if you start as you mean to go on, assert boundaries early on and give a very firm No to any suggestion of cheeky fuckery, nobody ever questions it and just accepts that they can’t treat you like that. Also, a raised eyebrow, a hard stare and an icy ‘I beg your pardon?’ are invaluable life skills.

Nice men (genuinely nice men, not ‘I’m a nice man so you owe me sex’ type of men) are not boring. They’re bloody lovely. It’s pushovers and drips with no oomph who are boring, and that’s not the same thing at all. Also, if you keep picking the same sort of men, you’re going to keep having the same sort of problems. And if they aren’t treating you with respect or making you a priority, then they are just not that into you (I could have done with reading that book in my twenties).

It’s so important not to lose yourself in life. I think women defer so much to other people’s wants and needs that they forget who they are other than someone’s mum or someone’s wife. You’re a person with your own thoughts and opinions. If you can’t remember what music you like, or what you enjoy doing, you need to get to know yourself again.

The opinions of random strangers do not matter (except on AIBU of course) because these people are irrelevant to you. If someone doesn’t like you, then who cares? You haven’t lost anything because they don’t want to be your friend. And one good friend is worth 100 acquaintances.

And there are not many skin related problems that Palmers cocoa butter can’t cure.

@Sn0tnose that's absolutely priceless, especially the bit about "boring" men. I wish I'd known that years ago!

A bit of WD40 on window handles and hinges can go a long way, especially if you live by the coast. Not that I bothered!

Umm, where exactly do you put the WD40 on a window handle or lock?

@Sn0tnose that's absolutely priceless, especially the bit about "boring" men. I wish I'd known that years ago!

You and me both!

Ooh, I sort of know this one! FiL does something to do with doors and windows and often talks about the importance of oiling hinges and doing other maintenance things as it massively extends the life of your windows. Not going to lie, I don’t always listen, but it’s definitely a thing in window circles

😀 at the concept of 'window circles' - am imagining a group of elderly men, meeting clandestinely in a shed somewhere, to discuss their favourite hinge mechanisms.

I've only ever replaced windows because they were rotten (wood) or generally rubbish, never because of the catches or joints. Do people generally have to replace windows because the metalwork has failed?

@Spiceup

Umm, where exactly do you put the WD40 on a window handle or lock?

Ok, so this is the bit I switch off for (I have zero interest in window maintenance) but he always seems more concerned with oiling the metal bits that attach the window to the frame. I think that’s the important bit. If your lock is getting a bit fiddly, you can squirt the wd40 on your key and get it in the lock that way, if you haven’t got on of those straw things that attach to the can.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

Ooh, I sort of know this one! FiL does something to do with doors and windows and often talks about the importance of oiling hinges and doing other maintenance things as it massively extends the life of your windows. Not going to lie, I don’t always listen, but it’s definitely a thing in window circles

😀 at the concept of 'window circles' - am imagining a group of elderly men, meeting clandestinely in a shed somewhere, to discuss their favourite hinge mechanisms.

I've only ever replaced windows because they were rotten (wood) or generally rubbish, never because of the catches or joints. Do people generally have to replace windows because the metalwork has failed?

Got to be honest, I’m not really up on the stats of windows that need replacing for this reason and the whole family just roll their eyes when he goes off to do it, but he owns his own window company, he’s got a brilliant reputation by all accounts and he also fits them himself when he’s not playing golf, so I suppose there must be quite a few that do, or he wouldn’t bother. Who knows?!

Sex education.. we were taught through fear.

I put WD40 on hinges and door handles regularly, you'd be surprised at the difference it makes.

That HRT in your 40’s can give you your life back.

I started on it at 43 and it made me realise how crap I’d been feeling for years.

ihatethecold how did you know you needed it? I'm feeling terrible lately but I only 41 and am I right in thinking there's no definitive test to say you need it?

Wayward periods, joint pain. The odd night sweat, insomnia

If you google peri menopausal symptoms you will see about 38 of them.

I've learnt so much from this thread- thanks everyone

Thought of another two:
-that it's ok not to get involved in other people's drama, it doesn't make you uncaring or a bad friend
-that it's ok not to have an opinion and stay silent if you feel you haven't made your mind up yet about the issue, it doesn't make you stupid or in the wrong

No-one matters except for those who are there for you, without question.

Also: speak to your parents now, before it is too late. Appreciate them

@ihatethecold

Wayward periods, joint pain. The odd night sweat, insomnia

I had brain fog-not ideal when you're dispensing prescriptions...

I still have brain fog and an utterly shite short term memory!
HRT hasn’t cured that unfortunately.

there is lot of staff to choose one from the latest, never ever clean a hand blender blades with your finger while plugged in. Did that in January, amputated the tip and shattered the rest completely. Undergone several surgeries but my right index finger will never function like before. Still having physio but I still have nine more

Oh god. That sounds horrendous

When you start dreading going out to a place / or seeing a person , it's time to stop going.

@Jennalong

When you start dreading going out to a place / or seeing a person , it's time to stop going.

I really disagree with this. I start dreading going out when I've spent to much time on my own. It can be a sign of depression too.

I just saw this on FB, and thought it belonged here!

Love this thread. So many wise words.

My advice would be to break big problems/issues down into manageable chunks, and concrete on one ‘chunk’ at a time. It’s basic common sense really, but sometimes it’s hard to see the wood for the trees....

I still can’t help wanting people to like me, even if I don’t like them. Ridiculous!!