Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

That spicy food is lovely and even if you don’t like hot food, a little bit of spice adds wonderful flavour to dishes. Wish I hadn’t discovered so many international cuisines only after leaving home.

It is OK to have clear boundaries about the extent to which you can help someone /the school /etc

Exercise can take many forms and does not have to be sweaty to be beneficial

That it's OK to be an introvert. If you enjoy being at home and you don't want to go out and you don't have tonnes of friends but are happy and content then that's great.

You can’t control what anyone else does but you can decide how you will respond to their actions.

Don't take shit from anyone. Better late than never.

If you dont want to do something dont !

You don't have to try to "rescue" everyone

That we all die in the end. Life is not about your job. size of house, make of car and bank balance, not one single bit of that rubbish matters. Having enough to live on does, but burning yourself to buy bi folding doors and marble counter tops is madness. When you come close to losing your life, you realise it is people that matter and the little things in life that mean the most not pretentious shit.

@Muffinpuffin

The power of compound interest

This is something that my lovely maths teacher taught us when I was about 13. Not in the curriculum but she thought we ought to know. It made a big impression and I’ve never forgotten it!

And my wisdom, hard earned, is listen to your instincts about people.

Men will tell you all manner of lies to get you into bed. Sometimes they even believe their lies, sometimes they are just good actors.

Your job is very unlikely to reward you for effort. Stand up for yourself, or better yet, become self-employed.

The power of compound interest grin

@Muffinpuffin please could you elaborate? in practical terms, what do you do differently with this information? Just choose investments that pay compound interest?

That there is a direct link between paisley pattern and the town of Paisley.

I lived near Paisley for several years before this penny finally dropped!

That career success doesn’t come just from working hard, but from knowing how to ‘play the game’ I.e. building relationships with people with influence, focusing on delivering the work that will get you noticed rather than ‘busy work’, etc

The size of your arse is irrelevant to you because you can't see it - it's behind you.

Exercise is good for you and, whatever you learned from home or school, there will be something that you are good at and enjoy (whether that's in the process of doing it, from the endorphins your body conveniently dishes out or from the pleasure of stopping, there is something enjoyable for you out there).

You need to look after your feet, your teeth and your eyes.

Stop worrying about what other people will think of you if you do something you've always wanted to do. Just do it assuming it doesn't involve your DH, a shovel and a new patio built in the dead of night.

You are not the supporting act for everybody else's starring role.

To value myself enough to end a relationship that wasn't working. It would have saved a great deal of sadness all round.

That if a man (or woman, if that's your bag) fancies you, they'll act accordingly. The "oh I'm sure he really likes me, he's just nervous/busy/whatever excuse" shtick took me far too long to get past. And the converse, too - if I like someone, romantically or platonically, I act on it - invite the person out, get in touch etc. Even if I'm potentially embarrassing myself or risking rejection. Sometimes it goes my way, sometimes I am indeed rejected. I won't spontaneously combust, and I've made some great friends (and more) as a result.

inspite of what they might tell you, having children costs women way more (in all senses of the word "costs) than it costs men

You can’t “fix” someone else, the only person who I can change is me.

Life is like a toilet roll, you tear off one sheet at a time but the closer you get to the end the faster it spins.

• tap dancing
• Spanish
• knitting
• that I have ADHD
• that most women are not the enemy
• Irish goodbyes
• that feeling guilty is a total waste of mental energy. especially when you had no choice
• that self-protection is categorically not the same as being selfish
• that I'm a "mix-trovert"
• being good enough is better than failing at trying to be perfect

I learnt far too late that I'm actually not a terrible judge of character, I just tend to ignore my instinctive reactions to people. Also that I am not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own.

That I'm actually not stupid. Or clumsy. Or selfish. These are all things that my mother was very keen for me to believe, and despite all evidence to the contrary, I did, for a very long time.

And most importantly, when someone wants you to feel responsible for some part of their lives, ask yourself why that is.

your joints are the best they will ever be right now. Preserve them instead of hammering them with stupid sports/fitness feats that lead to short term gain only.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

- tap dancing

• Spanish
• knitting
• that I have ADHD
• that most women are not the enemy
• Irish goodbyes
• that feeling guilty is a total waste of mental energy. especially when you had no choice
• that self-protection is categorically not the same as being selfish
• that I'm a "mix-trovert"
• being good enough is better than failing at trying to be perfect

What's an Irish goodbye? I can relate to a few things on your list. I'm learning Spanish now though and I love it.

@bubblesbubbles11 - not a truer word said.

That I can live without a man in my life (shock, horror!)