Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

This thread needs to go into classics & be turned into a handbook 🙌🏻

Never ever keep abuse of any description a secret.

Record everything that has ever happened as objectively as possible and share that information with those who are able to help, even if you don't feel in the position to do so.

When 2 women every week are murdered by someone they know and child abuse is endemic the chances are YOU will know or have your own suspicions.

Don't keep that information to yourself, you may well be saving someone's life or a lifetime of misery.

Think about death. Do not pretend it won't happen and that it is a great tragedy. The more you think quietly about your own death, the more sense you will make of your life, find purpose and joy.
Relationships are everything, nurture them or, if you're in one that is hurting you, leave it.

Literally no-one cares what marks you got at school. Or if your child can play the trumpet/dance/run fast. Or if you only eat 800 calories a day.

If someone tells you their story, try to listen rather than judge or offer advice. People tend to know what's best for them, they just need a little space to work it out.

It's worth trying to make someone's day, each day.

Look up at the sky and notice how vast it is. We are but dots passing by.

@LowlandLucky

That we all die in the end. Life is not about your job. size of house, make of car and bank balance, not one single bit of that rubbish matters. Having enough to live on does, but burning yourself to buy bi folding doors and marble counter tops is madness. When you come close to losing your life, you realise it is people that matter and the little things in life that mean the most not pretentious shit.

Beautiful and very very wise.

people can put on a good show but you never really know what they are feeling beneath that so be careful not to make assumptions

learn how to listen - it's something that we often forget

be with someone with the same work ethic as you - there's nothing more depressing than being with someone who's quite happy to live off your hard work

when people show you who they really are, believe it. People can hide their true nature with words, but they rarely hide their true nature by their actions. Stop hoping those people will change because they won't

Never a borrower or lender be.

from a post early in this thread
"Yes, but I am not you and my life is not your life"
or, as I recently heard it more bluntly put
"You do you and I'll do me"

Floss your teeth when the dentist tells you to!

Don't suffer for years with painful periods - get proper painkillers.

I also wish I'd switched from tampons/pads to menstrual cups about 15 years earlier.

Don't suffer for years with uncomfortable bras - bralettes have been a revelation.

@PamDenick My understanding is it's where you don't have to actively go out and earn the money.

I think in the example it was possibly stocks and shares, though they're very risky (according to friends and colleagues who've dabbled), unless you're wealthy enough in the first place to have someone to manage it for you, or you can follow the stock market yourself and move your money accordingly; and like gambling, it's not a good idea to invest more than you can afford to lose! (See the problem for most of us? ;)

Other examples might be writing an ebook or a series, putting an ecourse together, taking photos that are then sold on stock photo sites - a few more ideas here www.oberlo.co.uk/blog/passive-income though in my experience they never point out that you do actually have to put quite a lot of work in, at least at the start! I did sit through the world's most boring dropshipping lecture about a year ago run by people who were allegedly millionaires but actually just wanted you to buy their course, and decided that was not for me, thanks!!

Try not to answer an unasked question. You will likely be moving someone else's agenda forward, usually to your own detriment.

I'm.not fat and ugly and actually I never was ...took me till 60 to realise this.
Luckily my daughters seem to have more confidence than I had so I'm happy I successfully brought them up to feel good about themselves and are kind and have lovely partners

That ploughing the usual route of a-levels and degrees etc is an expensive way of becoming unemployed with no discernible skills at 21.

That skipping the navel gazing of University and instead focusing on gaining a trade and several languages allows you to work anywhere in the world, possibly set up your own company and become very rich indeed.

The importance of teamwork
Ability to speak another language
Dry sense of humour

Place marking but so far a lot of these ring true for me.

GCSE's mean jack shit. When you get a job, volunteer for the shitty jobs and do them well with a smile on your face, you'll progress much further and quicker. Don't let people take the piss tho.

If you get stage fright doing presentations volunteer to go first

When you meet a new person, find out 3 things about them, that way, when you meet them again, you can ask them about one of the 3 things, and they will feel heard, and loved. This goes for personal and professional relationships

Look up at the sky and notice how vast it is. We are but dots passing by.

This. When things seem insurmountable I watch Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot. We are nothing. Teeny tiny moments in a vast universe. That issue at work.. that embarrassing incident... in the big scheme of things, it's not important in reality. The only thing you know to be real is you.

Nice bitch about boomers in what has otherwise benn an illuminating and uplifting thread.

To@foxgoosefinch
Presumably make them credulous, compliant, lacking independent thought and easily led…? And goggling at their screens all the time, which going by my parents is leaving them with more “square eyes” than they ever warned us we’d get as kids. grin

Loving this thread! Sorry, no wise words to add to what’s already been said but following with interest.

@Yusanaim

Nice bitch about boomers in what has otherwise benn an illuminating and uplifting thread.

Oh dear me nobody can be amusing any more, no?

Moisturise moisturise moisturise and repeat

@Tarne

If you have had a tough life so far and you are out of condition imagine your inner self as a badly neglected and abused pet that you have just rescued and treat it with lots of kindness, love, TLC, healthy nutrition, fun and exercise.

I love this thread and this is one of my favourite posts

@HerBigChance

Try not to answer an unasked question. You will likely be moving someone else's agenda forward, usually to your own detriment.

Excellent. I learned this too, but always forget it when it comes to the crunch as my people-pleasing habits take over 🙄

I'll add another one.. Go light on make-up, hair products, false eye lashes etc. All that stuff ruins your skin and hair and you'll end up looking too old too fast. A bit of mascara and lip gloss will do most people just fine, but always, always wash it off before bed.

Thought of another one.
When men speak firmly, they are authoritative and confident. When women speak firmly, they are hectoring and loud.