Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

Or "rude"

That what other people think of you, is none of your business.

That spending hours of mental energy trying to plan for all eventualities is pointless and exhausting. There is so much out of our control and life just happens anyway, no matter how much we try to plan and control it. In fact things often enough work out much better than we expect as a result.

That it's impossible not to experience tough times and difficult emotions. It's part of being human and cannot be avoided or suppressed. Giving up this impossible agenda of control over my internal experience has been very liberating.

To live now, right now, not when 'x' difficult situation is resolved or passed. There will always be an difficult situation or a source of stress, but so much positive and enjoyable stuff can still be done alongside and despite of it.

That 'success' isn't defined by your financial status!

@LowlandLucky

That we all die in the end. Life is not about your job. size of house, make of car and bank balance, not one single bit of that rubbish matters. Having enough to live on does, but burning yourself to buy bi folding doors and marble counter tops is madness. When you come close to losing your life, you realise it is people that matter and the little things in life that mean the most not pretentious shit.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻👍🏻

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey

That's it's honestly more important to be happy than to try and have it all. I've cut back my hours and changed my job. I earn enough for what I need and I'm happy with that

Me too Walked away from the stress of retail management. Working in an office for little more than NMW and loving it. Less hours and travel, full lunch hours, leaving on time. Not worrying about me or the kids (or other staff) being sick, I just take the day off. I've got time for me....still working out what to do with it.

@HerBigChance

Try not to answer an unasked question. You will likely be moving someone else's agenda forward, usually to your own detriment.

I’m always suspicious when someone answers an unasked question. How many sober people say without prompting, “I’m not drunk”? How many fair and competent managers say, without being asked, “I’m a good manager”?

@PamDenick

www.bankrate.com/investing/passive-income-ideas/

That people you help out a lot won’t necessarily help you out when it’s your turn to need help.
Most people are selfish, when you find the ones who are generous of spirit hold on to them.

Be the first up on the dance floor. Others will follow.
Massage rosehip oil into your face morning and night. It doesn't have to be an expensive one.
Use 50 factor sunscreen
Drink lots and lots of water. Especially a glass of water between alcoholic drinks and finally before bed..
Egg mayo sandwiches will cure a hangover if you forget to drink the water (see above)
Always take make up off before bed no matter how drunk you are (a few wet wipes in a plastic bag in your handbag and you can do some of the hard work in the cab on the way home). And, talking of make up, as you age, less is more abd the same goes for perfume and jewellery (take off the last thing you put on).
Love is everything. Not designer clothes or posh kitchens or tropical holidays or endless selfies showing only the best bits.
Don't follow influencers especially the Kardashians and Jenner types. They are not giving you a positive message.
Try hard not to get into credit card debt.
Don't kill yourself working for someone else. Don't go into the office when you're really poorly because your work ethic / guilt tells you that you should. Your company will get rid of you the second they think you are not economical.
Don't make friends with work colleagues unless you have a very special bond. You will be of no use to them when you leave and they will drop you like a stone. Unless , 3 months later, they want you to just 'do a little favour ' for them which they will expect for free.
Value your parents and grandparents while they are here. They are gone before you know it.

The single biggest revelation of my life is understanding that I have no control over other people's reactions to anything at all, whilst I am 100% in control over my own reactions to absolutely everything.

How little most people care about other people. Its not how I or DP feel or act, so it took me many years to understand this.

Look after your teeth.

@julieca

How little most people care about other people. Its not how I or DP feel or act, so it took me many years to understand this.

Most definitely this. I'm the same as you, julieca but my sister tells me I expect too much of other people and that's why I'm constantly disappointed. X

@HarrietsweetHarriet even understanding that a lot of people vote for what is best for them personally took me a long time to understand. I don't really understand it still tbh.

Time is the most precious non-renewable resource. Prioritise your time over money, and stop giving your time away.

Tell someone how you really feel about them. Tell them often. My mother wasn't a big talker. I tell my son how much I love him whenever the thought crosses my mind.

Crunchy peanut butter is far superior to smooth peanut butter. Do not buy smooth peanut butter.

keep face and neck out of the sun as much as possible;
start a pension as early as you can;
try not to respond in the heat of the moment (verbal or written);
trust your gut.

That there are people (vile people) who can sail through life convincing everyone around them that they are a genuinely good person, a class clown, would do anything for you type.

I learned too late in life that you should keep your mouth shut, no-one will ever believe you and it will do more damage to you than them. Just protect those who need it and let the others think whatever they think.

I recently figured out why "be kind" is so meaningless. Most people who cannot sit comfortably with a tiny bit of feedback/criticism/correction/awkwardness will instantly project their shame on to you. You made the experience shame so YOU MUST BE BAD, and therefore you deserve to be excluded, smeared, stonewalled, gossiped about, undermined etc and they will do all this 100% believing they were the victim of you.

So the completely meaningless "be kind" should be "have some self-awareness"

Making money is more important than job satisfaction.

Wait, hear me out.

There are loads of ways of making money that are unexploited (e.g. Matched Betting, online trading etc). But kids are encouraged to go headlong into job and career paths early rather than focusing first on making money to set themselves up in life.

But I earned a fair whack, and can now "retire" from the money making career at the grand old age of 32 and pursue work I'm more interested in. My mortgage is massively paid down and I have substantial savings, so I can afford to retrain and do a more interesting role.

My complaint is that I could have earned a LOT MORE money than I did, and set up my investment incomes much earlier. See it as a sort of liberation of the rest of my life.

I'm going to help my kids earn and invest from age 18 to give them maximum freedom of choice later in life.

thecatsthecats how did you earn all the money without a job/career? I'd love to know the secret!!

Magazines exist to sell things, not impart the secrets of the universe.

Everyone's got their own agenda - keep your eyes open.

Don't believe everything you read - think critically.

@Alpacahunter loved your energy vampire post! So bloody true and a great reminder.

Small fabric bags are much easier to carry around than big leather ones. Also, cross-body bags leave your hands free for other things.

@Dragonfire282

thecatsthecats how did you earn all the money without a job/career? I'd love to know the secret!!

Haha, I don't have one, I'm afraid. Badly phrased.

I had a career where I moved up to senior level in a small firm and was paid a lot, but it happened by accident. A very lucky accident!

But it took me a lot of energy. Thing is, there are so many careers I could have done for ten years that would have earned me loads more money and set me up for life.

Plus the financial investments etc.

@SuperbFoolish

I'll add another one.. Go light on make-up, hair products, false eye lashes etc. All that stuff ruins your skin and hair and you'll end up looking too old too fast. A bit of mascara and lip gloss will do most people just fine, but always, always wash it off before bed.

How exactly does makeup 'ruin' your skin?