Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

A few more:

A one- or two-day First Aid course is money well spent. Even if you never use it a dramatic, major-incident way and I hope you never have to it does wonders for self-confidence.

One well-tailored black jacket and one knee-length, A-line or flared black skirt will do the sartorial job for working women who don't wear scrubs, overalls or a uniform.

Cultivate a creative life. It will keep you sane. Contrary to what the oldies might have told you, you don't have to be good at it. But you might turn out to be brilliant anyway, or use that expertise in a way you didn't expect -- as I did.

Some brilliant advice and stories on here - all the stuff I wish I'd known at 23! Or 27, or 35...!

Yes im also 40's and would love to know where/how to begin with this!! Amazing!

One more thing - you do not have to put up with heavy periods! I only recently found out I could get medication to stop them being so heavy, after getting to the point of severe anaemia.

Not to follow along with others, friends, relatives so much - do what you want to do!

Never go to war against your body, in whole or in part. Your mind, body and soul are on the same team.

If you have had a tough life so far and you are out of condition imagine your inner self as a badly neglected and abused pet that you have just rescued and treat it with lots of kindness, love, TLC, healthy nutrition, fun and exercise.

Hot rrgognise piss takers and users.

If you need to rest your mind, work your body. If you need to rest your body, work your mind.

People take you at your own valuation.

Very true ime.
If you had a difficult childhood / were abused so your confidence is low, through no fault of your own people will have little respect for you.
It's a quote by Agatha Christie though I first read it spoken by a character in a Hilary Mantel book.

This is superficial but I learnt it here on MN. If you lose your way with your style after pregnancy and the young kids years, remember back to what you use to love to wear and find a grown up version of that. Your core tastes probably haven't changed.

I discarded bags of random clothes I'd acquired and reverted back to my rockabilly/grungy taste in clothes all be it a bit more expensive and better quality versions of it. I love how I dress now, and look much younger and happier as well.

@LowlandLucky

That we all die in the end. Life is not about your job. size of house, make of car and bank balance, not one single bit of that rubbish matters. Having enough to live on does, but burning yourself to buy bi folding doors and marble counter tops is madness. When you come close to losing your life, you realise it is people that matter and the little things in life that mean the most not pretentious shit.

So true!

Men move on quickly if widowed /lose their partner because they want someone to run the home. realised this as i picked up milk on the way home, put the bin out on arrival, nipped to get veg from teh garden and started making the evening meal using food from the fridge I'd bought earlier in the week

Stop being polite to men people who overstep your boundaries.

Baby vests can be pulled down past their shoulders rather than over their heads when they've shat up their backs.

@Lucycantdance

One more thing - you do not have to put up with heavy periods! I only recently found out I could get medication to stop them being so heavy, after getting to the point of severe anaemia.

This!

And you can (and should) ask your GP for a referral to a gynaecologist if you can't cope. Endometriosis is a more common problem than most people think.

Create a passive/secondary income stream. I did around 16 years ago but then lost my nerve and got out. My kid is 18 and has already started his.

What IS a passive income stream?

You will never have a moment's true peace of mind after you have children. Especially in the world as it is today.

How you never stop worrying about your children. I remembered my mum saying this and now have a 21 &17 yr old and it’s the hardest stage for me. I only really thought about children as children when I was younger.

Don't feel bad admitting to having genital herpes. 70% of the population has one type of herpes.

Chocoloatecauldron: Don't walk into a room and worry if people will like you. Walk into the room and wonder if YOU will like them.

So very true.

Also, to value loyalty in a partner rather than how goood they are in bed. And numerous other stuff about men I only just woke up to, at the age of 50!!

No one is as interested in you as you are so stop worrying

People only change when they want to

Stop over analysing he isn’t xyz because he simply doesn’t want to not because he is scared/hurt/focused on career

Believe people when they tell you/show you who they are

That so many women (and GPs) consider HRT to be a last resort rather than a first choice - I'm constantly frustrated by this attitude

That many other parents look at the car / clothes / house before personality and behaviour. We're more drawn to the parents / kids who have substance over style, as I'm SO not into comparison and competition. At my age I genuinely don't care, we have more than enough and work hard!

No one is as interested in you as you are so stop worrying

Yes. In the same vane as my Jedi confidence mind trick point, people will only find things as big a deal as you make them.

If you don’t build your dreams, someone will hire you to help build theirs.