Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

That I don't owe any man a relationship just because he has been nice to me. He should do that regardless and not because he expects a "reward".

I wish I could have walked up to myself as a teenager and told myself not to worry about any of the boy stuff. I wasn’t the pretty girl at school. I never felt good enough to even admit I liked anyone because I didn’t think they’d look twice at me. I didn’t have a boyfriend all through school or even after. I started casually seeing people at 18/19 and felt I had to kiss or sleep with people just because my friends were doing it.

When I was 21 I had got better looking (and more confident) and started speaking to the hottest guy from my school. We’d never spoke before because I would never have dared.

Fast forward 8 years, we have a child and we’re getting married. None of it is relevant now at all but at the time it felt like the biggest deal ever

@StripeyDeckchair

Invest don't save - investment growth usually exceeds inflation but savings growth is usually way below inflation. This means your savings are actually decreasing over time. Mortgages are cheap money so prioritise your pension/investments and don't overpay your mortgage

Always be financially independent.

Teach your children about money; buying them everything does them no favours.

Listen to this and ignore all the other financial advice on this thread.

Especially the guff early on about compound interest.

Judge a person by their actions - never their words.

This rings true time and time again. Action requires more effort & consideration than speaking. Therefore by the fruits of one’s labours shall ye know them………..

That if you have enough, you have plenty.,

@GoodnightGrandma

When I was in my 40’s I didn’t realise how old I would feel in my 50’s.

So true!

I look at women wearing high heels in the suburb where I live and think, "why?". You must be a receptionist with a dress code, or possibly an estate agent who has to present an image...which is sad.

That buying lots of stuff doesn't make my life better - I only realised it a couple of years ago when I bought an expensive-to-me handbag convinced it would improve my life. It was heavy and impractical and ended up in the bottom of my wardrobe with my other 50 bags I also bought to make my life better. Turns out I have three bags I use and the others were just wasted purchases.

Being comfortable in my clothes is hugely important so I've embraced big knickers and flat shoes.

Girls in glasses are not unattractive

Generally people are not thinking about you as much as you imagine.

In any new situation you won't be the only nervous person in the room - and just like you everyone else is faking confidence.

Always save. It doesn’t have to be a lot, just something each week/month.

Do not ever,ever put up with an abusive person in your life.

Very cheap makeup is usually a complete waste of money. Hard to apply, disappears and packaging falls apart.

Looking groomed, clean hair, tidy appearance will make you feel more confident.

Know your worth, find your boundaries

The people I know who are successful in life did not become so because of who they know. Successful people in my circles are successful because of raw intelligence, dedication to their jobs, perseverence, great technical and soft skills and a small amount of luck. Life has taught me that there are never any short cuts. You want the success, you have to go out and earn it, but if you are good enough (in the broadest sense) and persevere, it will happen for you. People are far too quick to make excuses for themselves, claiming they didn't know the right people etc. I have never known anyone who knew the right people (whoever they are) but I suspect there are very few who did know the right people but weren't rumbled because they just weren't good enough at the end of the day. You want to be successful, don't make excuses, just earn your success.

High heels are the West's version of Chinese foot binding. Not quite as extreme, but they do incapacitate you.

I second nominating this thread for classics

@Applesonthelawn

High heels are the West's version of Chinese foot binding. Not quite as extreme, but they do incapacitate you.

This is so true. In the Northampton shoe museum (which is excellent by the way), they have stilettos and Chinese foot binding shoes in the same display, to make exactly this point.

That society pressures us to be in romantic / domestic relationships and I wasted so much worrying about why I wasn't in one. When I did get in one it wasn't all that. I did get two children out of it though.

I should have invested more in my own relationship with myself and the people who truly cared about me.

That toxic people can be in your own family. That's been quite hard.

...or third- whatever

TW…….

That, after years of eating disorders, encompassing bulimia, anorexia and substance abuse, the mantra:
‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’
is a fucking stupid way to live your life. Food is nice. Cooking it and eating it. And just because the menopause has given me a gut, I’m still not getting sucked back in.

Also, don’t save anything for ‘best’. That day might never come.
If you want to wear a pair of silver sequin trousers out, to a mid range restaurant in Manchester, on a Tuesday lunchtime, bloody well do it.

Life lessons! Brilliant

That the bigger your knickers are the more comfortable they will be. I wasted decades wearing horrible skimpy ones.

Your employer doesn't care about you – only what you can do for them.

This is true. I used to be an HR Director and Consultant and I can tell you now that companies absolutely do not give a shit about you.

Nothing really suits you better than your own hair colour.

(I spent years trying to look like Debbie Harry but came out more Myra Hindley.)

Trying to let people go who don't give a about me. I'd love someone to make me a priority, still waiting 😟

I beg to differ. If you had mouse brown hair you wouldnt say that.

@CausingMeUpset

Your employer doesn't care about you – only what you can do for them.

This is true. I used to be an HR Director and Consultant and I can tell you now that companies absolutely do not give a shit about you.

Nothing made me realise this quicker than doing a CIPD course!!

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

oh and from Modern Family:

• Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail
• if you love something let it free, unless it's a tiger
• marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed
• you can tell a lot about a person from his biography
• if life gives you lemonade, make lemons. life will be like "What?!"

🤣

Brilliant 👌🏾