Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

[quote frumpety]@NeverDropYourMooncup I used to love a Provvi loan, I knew what I was paying though, but at the time that was my only line of credit. Do they still exist ?[/quote]
Yup, unfortunately - and I say that because an interest rate, if the repayment terms are kept to an no payment is ever missed, of over 1500% is not something that should be allowed.

The vast majority of men aren’t worth the hassle.

No one has got it sussed, everyone is just muddling along, some are just better at faking the sussed-ness

@Itstheweekendyasssss

Every thing you worry will happen? That shit won’t happen- other shit happens that you didn’t think of…. so there is no point in worrying!!

Absolutely this!

Everyone is winging it to some extent.
Most humble people have had moments of self doubt or so called imposter syndrome.

@LowlandLucky

That we all die in the end. Life is not about your job. size of house, make of car and bank balance, not one single bit of that rubbish matters. Having enough to live on does, but burning yourself to buy bi folding doors and marble counter tops is madness. When you come close to losing your life, you realise it is people that matter and the little things in life that mean the most not pretentious shit.

This is so true. We bring nothing into this life and take nothing when we leave, yet we put ourselves under undue pressure in stressful jobs to have extra stuff we don't need. Madness.

• Don’t underestimate the power of kindness and just being a good and decent person. By good I don’t mean being a push over. Lots of good acts will go unnoticed. Sometimes though they will come back to you, possibly years later, and in very random ways and places.

• Some people are toxic and will push you down to pull themselves up. Don’t waste your thoughts on them.

I don’t believe in karma but I believe you reap what you sew. Treat people badly and it will bite you in some shape or form at some point, I’ve seen it, several times.

• If you’ve got a passion or interes, don’t worry about what others think and just immerse yourself in it how you like. Be it ComicCon, Disney, Marvel, Trains, Classic Cars , aviation, sewing, baking, drawing, bird watching, rollercoaster tourism, gaming, board games,.....if you enjoy it, do it and don’t worry what others say. Who cares if they think it’s lame or boring or babyish or hilarious, who cares? It’s your life, not there’s.

Likewise if your a collector, who cares what others think?

• Save, yes. But also remember you can’t take anything with you. There’s a world out there to see and enjoy.

@bananabuddy3

- Don’t underestimate the power of kindness and just being a good and decent person. By good I don’t mean being a push over. Lots of good acts will go unnoticed. Sometimes though they will come back to you, possibly years later, and in very random ways and places.

• Some people are toxic and will push you down to pull themselves up. Don’t waste your thoughts on them.

I don’t believe in karma but I believe you reap what you sew. Treat people badly and it will bite you in some shape or form at some point, I’ve seen it, several times.

• If you’ve got a passion or interes, don’t worry about what others think and just immerse yourself in it how you like. Be it ComicCon, Disney, Marvel, Trains, Classic Cars , aviation, sewing, baking, drawing, bird watching, rollercoaster tourism, gaming, board games,.....if you enjoy it, do it and don’t worry what others say. Who cares if they think it’s lame or boring or babyish or hilarious, who cares? It’s your life, not there’s.

Likewise if your a collector, who cares what others think?

• Save, yes. But also remember you can’t take anything with you. There’s a world out there to see and enjoy.

What a lovely post!

My advice - DO get married. And make a will...

Now I’m in my 50s I’ve heard too many examples of long term couples where one partner has died and the other doesn’t inherit...

Only now realising that I am not a failure. I am dyslexic so my brain is wired differently. Life is hard unfortunately most people I’ve meet it harder.
Family are not always right and often have their interests at heart.
Never give away your power.
Only take advice from those who don’t intent to hurt you.
Life is too short for high heels.
Have faith and confidence in yourself. It’s easier to get through harder times.

Know your worth in ahh situation.
It changes depending which situation you are in.

Be brave enough to say no and challenge things if they’re wrong.
(Current example is I’m negotiating a contract for a new position, in the past I was a pushover but I’ve had it amended three times because they’re wrong from what was discussed in my interview!)

Don't stick with something that makes you unhappy for the benefit of other people.....recognise when you are unhappy, being drained, learn to spot the signs....and realise when someone/something else is bad for you.

Acknowledge what really makes you happy and who you have the best belly laughs with - do more of this..turn your favourite tunes up loud and sing/dance away to them,, who cares! (well don't wake anyone up ha)

Take time away, just to be by yourself and reflect it's important.

Reflect on yourself... it's ok to be wrong and say sorry, try to work out repetitive cycles of destructive behaviour and figure out how to break the chain

Plan fun adventures / travel / book that trip to Lapland / go wild swimming / join the evening art course/ have a day off to stay in bed doing nothing all day

Start going to the gym yesterday, stick to it! Take vitamins now

Ring the Dr's /seek help if you are worried about something, don't leave it too late or put it off....you will know really if somethings not right

Since having a baby and returning to work part time, after years of doing extra shifts on overtime to earn more money I've learned to only work the minimum number of hours required to pay all the bills and live reasonably comfortably. I enjoy the time off I have now instead of busting a gut to have more luxuries.

Hair will grow back, so have fun with it.
Confidence is the difference between the successful interview candidate and the unsuccessful- people take you at your own valuation.
Your parents don’t have all the answers either.
You don’t have to put up with unhappiness. You can change things instead.
Self awareness is absolutely vital to having good social relationships
I lost a lot of my twenties to mental illness- I now know not to beat myself up about this because it wasn’t my fault.

Always trust your gut instincts about people places situations etc
Dont expect any thanks for numerous favours you do for family
Dont be a yes woman
Men become more annoying as they get older

@flashy44

Always trust your gut instincts about people places situations etc Dont expect any thanks for numerous favours you do for family Dont be a yes woman Men become more annoying as they get older

I agree with all these!

Especially the fact that men get more annoying as they get older. I find women on the whole get better - more relaxed, more compassionate, more funny, as they age. Lots of women seem to expand in personality rather than reduce.

Men it’s the reverse. They seem to ossify into all the bad traits they had as young men. They become rigid and petulant - and no matter how much of a great deal they got in life, an older man is almost always disgruntled about wrongs he feels have been done to him and how he should have had more than he got.

My gut instincts about people have been proven to be wrong at times. Usually it's when I've made lazy assumptions about what people might be like that were entirely down to my inexperience.

[quote supermoonrising]@beachtosunset
TEFL is the best job in the world! Well worked for me anyway. Taking a TEFL course was possibly the best decision I ever made - the best grand I ever spent.[/quote]
@supermoonrising

Thank you that is encouraging to hear. Was hoping to travel but then we had lockdown one month later. Would love to travel and teach adults business English. Maybe i will do it online from home?

Sorry OP slight derail. I learned to late in life that me an office work 24 years later do not gel..... another previous poster said teaching was not good for them so i was ambivalent to finish.

**too late in life. i am tired ...

That life is difficult and bereavement can be very hard.

Actions more often speak louder than words

That you don’t have to please everyone all the time, you can say no

People will judge but those that do, don’t matter. The ones that matter, know the truth.

You can’t trust everyone you think you can

Friendships take effort on both parts. Don’t waste your time chasing after meet ups with people that don’t reciprocate. The saying ‘There are those that see you in the free time and there are those that free they’d find to see you’ - know the difference!

free their time

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