Come and play my made-up game

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

I will ask for advice, and you have to answer using only a quote from somewhere else on Mumsnet. Then you can ask for the next piece of advice. (best to quote the advice question you're answering in case there's cross-posting)

Okay, first question: What should I wear to my cousin's wedding?

Should it be a correct answer?

I think the more hilarious the better, but I'll take what I can get.

What should I wear to my cousin's wedding?

The mumsnet scarf.

What shall I serve at my sophisticated dinner party?

*What to serve at your sophisticated dinner party?"

"A glittered dildo? "

Shall I have a BBQ tomorrow?

What shall I serve at my sophisticated dinner party?

Just like normal pick n mix ?

What can I do about my noisy neighbours?

Shall I have a BBQ tomorrow?

"My concern would be parking, not spiders."

What's the best way to get my DD to eat her veggies?

@UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa

Shall I have a BBQ tomorrow?

"My concern would be parking, not spiders."

What's the best way to get my DD to eat her veggies?

Wrapped in bacon.

How do I clean my penis beaker?

@00100001

*What to serve at your sophisticated dinner party?"

"A glittered dildo? "

Shall I have a BBQ tomorrow?

@00100001 Oh my! I think you won the game already!

How do I clean my penis beaker?*

"For what it's worth I found that using a timer helped enormously."

How can I get out of visiting my in-laws without being rude?

Work on them with a fish slice and lube.

What makes your washing smell lovely?

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

Work on them with a fish slice and lube.

What makes your washing smell lovely?

Spiders dragging their willies across it.

How can I get DS to sleep?

What makes your washing smell lovely?

"I ordered a Chinese takeaway and have only eaten the starters."

What's the fastest way to get in shape?

How can I get DS to sleep?

"Leave to cool before putting in fridge..."

What should I bring to my job interview?

What's the fastest way to get in shape?

"But it has to be run, core work out x 3 days a week plus 3 days work"

What does your DP look like?

@sundaydisposition

What's the fastest way to get in shape?

"But it has to be run, core work out x 3 days a week plus 3 days work"

What does your DP look like?

A washable baby wipe that stays soft.

How should I deal with my difficult brother-in-law?

How should I deal with my difficult brother-in-law?

Leave it on the line for a couple of days, and it should bleach out.

Where can I buy really good boots?

How should I deal with my difficult brother-in-law?

"It sounds as if eating separately and doing non meal things together for a while might take the pressure off."

Where is the best place to meet single men?

Where can I buy really good boots?

Durham University

What should I put in my front garden?

*What should I bring to my job interview?"

Cushions covered in very thick covers (you know the coarse material that feels quite rough)
Then old blanket over the top for coziness

How can I tell if my DP is lying to me?

How can I tell if my DP is lying to me?

he will spend 7k on furniture.

Why is palm oil in bloody everything???

What should I put in my front garden?

Naiice ham

How do I stop my neighbour’s llama spitting on me?

How do I stop my neighbour’s llama spitting on me?

The fewer words you use, the more superior, abrupt and arrogant you sound.

Where's a good place to eat near Scarborough?

Why is palm oil in bloody everything???

"looks gross but will get rid of loads of the little buggers and really quite quickly"

What should I make for dinner tonight?

What should I make for dinner tonight?

Never never never eat white bread, or feed it to children, it just changes to sugar in your body, it is poison!

Where shall I take my children for a day out tomorrow?

Where's a good place to eat near Scarborough?

I'd scout round for a decent greasy spoon type place (they're not all dives and the simple food can be very well done)

What is making that strange sound in my wall?