Threads you can tell the answer to before opening

[Lumene]

What are the common mumsnet threads with questions you can tell the answer to without having to open them, at least 99% of the time.

I’ll start:

Q: I’m in a new relationship, is this a red flag?
A: Yes.

Q: How often do you wash your sheets?
A: Every 45 minutes.

Q: am I pregnant
A: take a test

Q: I don’t like the way my friend/family member is (or is refusing to) providing me with (free) childcare.
A: Pay for it yourself, then.

Q: Should I keep texting him?
A: Nope.

Q: help me increase my supply
A: formula will give you a break

Q: should I change nurseries
A: yes

Q: How old do you think I look?
A: deleted thread

Q: is this suitable for a wedding
A: no

Q: budget planning, tell me your household income
A: one million pounds

AIBU

Yes

No I am not

You really are.

Q: Can you get over an affair?
A: LTB

How can I tell my friend I don't want to basically bend over and take it ?

"No is a complete sentence"

Fuck off.

Q: should I leave him?
A: LTB

@TinyBarista

Q: budget planning, tell me your household income A: one million pounds

🤣 or definitely not well off on a 6 figure income.

Q: Is it right that track and trace told me to self isolate?
A: It's test and trace, track and trace is a post office service.

Q Should I have another child?
A. Please think of the environmental impact of expanding your family.

@user1495884211

Q: Is it right that track and trace told me to self isolate? A: It's test and trace, track and trace is a post office service.

😂😂😂😂

Q My boyfriend is missing, he's three hours late. Shall I phone the police?
A No, he will come home when he's sobered up.

Q I'm broke. How can I feed my kids for a week?
A Lentils, beans and porridge.

Q: should we shut the boarders?
A: it's borders

Should I stay or should I go?

Go. Always go.

Q Is it too soon to ...?
A Yes

Q: My boyfriend brought his violent ex and their drug dealer to dinner with my parents and SIL & BIL and they snorted lines off the kitchen table. What should I do?

A: Where are you that you're allowed eight people inside? Do you think Covid rules don't apply to you?

Q: OMG I accidentally sent this photo to my in-laws, what should I do?
A: Show us the effing photo

Q: Parking problem
A: We need a diagram

How many will this chicken feed?

5000, especially if you throw in a few loaves ( sourdough of course)