Threads you can tell the answer to before opening

[Lumene]

What are the common mumsnet threads with questions you can tell the answer to without having to open them, at least 99% of the time.

I’ll start:

Q: I’m in a new relationship, is this a red flag?
A: Yes.

Q does this suit me
A nope

Q. Is my friend being a CF?
A. Absolutely. Never speak to her again.

Q: Person A... Person B...
A: You are person B right?

Q Is this inheritance division fair?
A You sound grabby!

Q Is our buyer making unreasonable demands?
A Yes tell them to take it or leave it, or you will take the house off the market.

loving all these.

Q: How do I deal with this problem with my in laws?
A: You have an OH problem not an in law problem.

Q: Should I have my second AZ jab?
A: Yes

Q. AIBU to think non-parents shouldn't be on Mumsnet?
A. Yes

Housekeeping

Q How often do you wash your bed sheets?

A1 Once a week
A2 Once a month
A3 You're all gross- every day of course, think about dust mites for a moment, they're in your bed right now, you should also vacuum the mattress every time
A4 That's what housekeepers and cleaners are for
A5 Never, relax do you think men worry about this?
A6 Try the organised mum method
A7 I have a superking bed so DH does it
A8 My Nan always told me don't wash them on New Year's Day or you'll wash a loved one away
A9 If you fold them and put them inside a pillowcase they'll be all organised and ready when you go to change them

Q. Anything about food
A. That's too much food, we've lost sight of.portion sizes also it's not enough protein

@user1495884211

Q: Is it right that track and trace told me to self isolate? A: It's test and trace, track and trace is a post office service.

🤣🤣

Was out drinking, should I have said this?
No.

In my defence, I was a little drun-
Still no.
Voluntarily drinking is not an excuse.

Q: why am I fat?
A: Because you don't fucking exercise!

Q: do I drink too much?
A: I never drink
A: I drink three times that
A: if you have to ask it's too much

Q DH is out every weekend doing his hobby, is this fair?

A Book yourself into a spa

Q. I drink a bottle of wine a week over Saturday and Sunday. Is this too much?
A1. OMG, I would literally DIE if I drank that much in a month, I think you might have a problem OP.
A2. OMG I couldn't survive on less than a bottle every 5 minutes, and I run marathons every fortnight.

Q : why is my house not selling ?
A: it's too expensive for the area and you need to put some planters at the front.

Q: My child did something totally outrageous that involved hurting/destroying. What should I do?
A: TAKE ALL THEIR POSSESSIONS AND LOCK THEM IN A ROOM FOR A WEEK OR THEY WILL BECOME A SERIAL KILLER
A:Give them a lovely cuddle and explain it wasn't their fault they are only 28, they can't be expected to manage their emotions yet

Q: I want to get a dog...
A: you can only have one if you wfh, and it's a retired greyhound.

Q Am I pregnant ?
A are you a female who ovulates?, have you had sex ?, have you missed a period?.
Buy a bloody test, ideally a digital one that says 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant '. That way you won't have to post again asking if anyone can see a line.

Ah I read it wrong. Anyway this should be the answer to the am I pregnant posts.

I think some posters don't realise this thread is about what your answer would be to a thread title or post, not what MN posters typically say.

Or maybe I've got it wrong, in which case, ignore my posts.

Q. Why isn't my house selling! What's wrong with my house?
A. Everything

@Blessex

Q: How old do you think I look? A: deleted thread

Lmao 🤣 seen a few of those 😂😂

@WokeUpMyBaby

I think some posters don't realise this thread is about what your answer would be to a thread title or post, not what MN posters typically say.

Or maybe I've got it wrong, in which case, ignore my posts.

That’s not what I got from the OP!