Threads you can tell the answer to before opening

[Lumene]

What are the common mumsnet threads with questions you can tell the answer to without having to open them, at least 99% of the time.

I’ll start:

Q: I’m in a new relationship, is this a red flag?
A: Yes.

Q: Are my triplets school being unreasonable not letting them wear plimsolls as school shose?
A: MNHQ here. Sorry we've zapped the thread as this is a pbp.

Q - My neighbour's dc are still up and it's 9pm.

A1 - Mine obediently haul themselves to bed at 5.30pm after 5pm dinner.

A2 - Mine don't see the bedroom till 1am.

A3 - Social services. Ring now!

Q: anything very late at night

A1: follow up question
MN: where is OP???????

Q - DC1 stood in dog shit today

A - I hope Brexit voters are happy with themselves.

Q: So what Christmas presents have you bought so far?
A1: Why in God's name are you posting about Christmas in May, what sort of lunatic are you, why are you inflicting this on the rest of us, if you want to spread the cost of it couldn't you just put some money aside every month?
A2: This is the Christmas forum, you know.

Q: Is this breaking Covid rules?
A: Yes, and you know it.

Ok, we’ll I’m gonna do it anyway.

I'm a lone parent on a low income and some days I struggle to cope.

Your choice, your problem. You reap what you sow.

(In AIBU) Do these look weird to you?
What is your AIBU?

Q - I’m thinking of moving to London. What areas would I get a 7 bed, 4 bathroom house with garden & good tube links, school catchments and sense of community in zone 1 for £150k?

Q2 - Bump

@Pipefish

Housekeeping

Q How often do you wash your bed sheets?

A1 Once a week
A2 Once a month
A3 You're all gross- every day of course, think about dust mites for a moment, they're in your bed right now, you should also vacuum the mattress every time
A4 That's what housekeepers and cleaners are for
A5 Never, relax do you think men worry about this?
A6 Try the organised mum method
A7 I have a superking bed so DH does it
A8 My Nan always told me don't wash them on New Year's Day or you'll wash a loved one away
A9 If you fold them and put them inside a pillowcase they'll be all organised and ready when you go to change them

Q: anything Christmas related before 24th December

maryz: 🤬

Q... My DH wants sex more than once a year. AIBU

A1... You need to draw up a cleaning rota.
A2... LTB

Do I need to go to back to the hospital?
Yes (without exception)

Why won’t my house sell?
It’s too dear

@ Smokeahontas

Q: I need help, struggling with newborn/baby/toddler/pre-teen/teenager

A: just enjoy them!!!

@Wearywithteens

Q. I’m moving to...does anyone know the area? A. Yes - to avoid the poverty stricken rif raf choose x, y, z

Q. I’m moving out of London but I’m scared of racists.
A. Be careful. There are small pockets of safe zones that I’ve heard about but most areas outside of London are just zombie mobs of frothing racists who’ve never seen a BAME person.

Q- Aibu to move to a nicer place/the countryside/where I really want to go?

A - You'll do well to stay where you are/in London or you'll have yourself to blame for the inevitable literal violence that is the racist stare you'll get elsewhere.

Meant do react with 🤣🤣 to the quote.

*to

Q - neighbours keep getting Amazon parcels delivered here

A - have you spoken to a solicitor?

@Vanishun

Q Mum bought me a half-gnawed shoe filled with ape shit for my birthday, AIBU to feel a bit unhappy?

A My lovely mum died ten years ago and I'd give anything to see her again, count yourself lucky.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Q: picked the brand. which colour should I choose?

A: that's so expensive, don't buy it OP, you can get a different brand much cheaper!!

@Smokeahontas

Q - I’m thinking of moving to London. What areas would I get a 7 bed, 4 bathroom house with garden & good tube links, school catchments and sense of community in zone 1 for £150k?

Q2 - Bump

🤣🤣

Q: I’m looking for this Gucci dress
A: I saw exactly the same in Next

Q: very very specific issue
A: tumbleweed

Mumsnet 12/612
Q My child is refusing to go to school
Mumsnet 8/6/21
A1 call the school for advice.
A2 call the school saying they're ill. One day off won't hurt.

A3 ZOMBIE THREAD