Threads you can tell the answer to before opening

[Lumene]

What are the common mumsnet threads with questions you can tell the answer to without having to open them, at least 99% of the time.

I’ll start:

Q: I’m in a new relationship, is this a red flag?
A: Yes.

Q: Do all men do this?
A: No, pissing in the wardrobe is not normal behaviour.

Q - about having problems trying to find this years child’s Christmas present trend

A - that’s obscene, we don’t need any more plastic. My DC receive an off cut of wood, a leaf and a book & they're grateful for it.

Q: I was visiting my sister yesterday...
A: is she in your bubble op?

slightly different but:
on any given thread in Chat random people will post YANBU/YABU
random poster with tag, highlight: THIS IS CHAT!!!!

OP: My DM said a weird thing the other day..
A: probably dementia

Q: anything
A: close the borders

Q: How much do you eat in a day?

A: Half an apple and a piece of dry toast on a greedy day. If I’m low-carbing I’ll swap the toast for a handful of quinoa.

Q. I sent invites to my destination wedding...

A. Chose from:

YABU.

Village hall and buffet in the field
It’s a marriage not a wedding
It’s a wedding not a summons.

Q: do you think Harry and Meghan...
A1: They're attention seeking twats
A2: I think their dicustin'. It's her Maj I feels sorry for
A3: the monarchy should be abolished
A4: oh Harry, just come home.

Q: should I do this or that?
A: yes

Q: MIL

A1: hate mine
A2: love mine
A3: mine's dead

Q: Can I have a handhold for major issue unfolding right now?
A: Yes of course, you poor thing
(ten minutes later)
A: Oh, it's half term.

OP: my neighbour looked at my bin a bit funny
A: buy a ring doorbell

Q: anything
A: we’ve lost sight of what thin / fat / normal looks like

Q - I'm having back and chest pains and I'm hot sweaty and it's a bit hard to breath. AIBU to go to A&E?

A- this is neither a accident or an emergency. This is why the NHS is broken. I sewed my leg back on after I cut it off trimming my Bush with a chainsaw! Wait until the morning and phone your GP. Unbelievable! Some people. Give your head a wobble!

Q: DS3 licked a worm/frog/poo/used tampon. what should I do?

A1: blue light him to A&E
A2: I feed mine with rattlesnakes

🤣🤣

Q - my PFB has seen a bag of sugar across the room, AIBU to take him to the GP?

A1 - fuck up
A2 - sugar in your house? Why not just leave lines of coke on the counter & heroin on your dining table.

🤣🤣 Think I'm just going to react to posts. Hilarious!

Q - why does my neighbour always leave the house at 5am and return ten minutes later?

A - what do you expect when you vote Tory? You bought this on yourself voting this shit show into government again!

Q: anything

A1: follow up question
OP: answer
A2: drip feeding

Q: When did you first feel baby move?
A: 10dpo

I sneezed today and DH didn't say 'bless you'

He's abusive . Call woman's aid

Q. Story about girls, periods and not being allowed to go to the toilet at school.
A1. Personal tales of sanitary protection failures plus rants about teachers.
A2. Not another one. Take your furry hands elsewhere.
MNHQ: Thread deleted