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Original poster

Greenland (new amazon film)

192 replies

QuestionableMouse · 08/02/2021 17:49

Everyone is fawning over it! I watched it last night and thought it was absolutely rubbish, reused the same old exhausted tropes that every disaster movie uses and was really oddly paced.

Seriously though, please can we have a disaster movie where the family aren't estranged and the kid isn't forced to have a medical condition just to advance the plot?!

OP posts:
garlictwist · 08/02/2021 17:51

I enjoyed it. I knew it was going to be hackneyed and implausible so I went in with my eyes open but it kept my attention and was well made.

I did think the mum was a bit sidelined though - she did fuck all while Gerard Butler muscled his way about, doing all the driving and making all the decisions.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 08/02/2021 17:54

Yanbu.

It’s the utter tripe, and not even enjoyable tripe.

PuppyMonkey · 08/02/2021 17:54

I bloody loved it, but I love Armageddon too so I’m beyond hope.

The diabetic kid, I mean really... GrinGrin

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 08/02/2021 17:55

Yes, the bit with the meds vs blanket was ridiculous.

LizBennet · 08/02/2021 17:55

I agree. Distinctly underwhelming.

Snowsnowglorioussnow · 08/02/2021 17:59

Oh I've just seen it and loved it!

So many plot holes but really enjoyed it. Script not too bad and g butler also not too bad. Good fun

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 08/02/2021 18:02

A waste

The idea has so much more potential and it was just Gerard Butler and his wavering accent wandering about together hoping they might connect up

Wandavision · 08/02/2021 18:03

I didn't even understand why the US would allegedly be flying their citizens there when its nothing to do with the USA? Butler clutching the bag of meds but then they'd disappear for ages to miraculously reappear. Did he stuff them down his pants? Pilot not just shooting them on the runway 🙄 And then after all the song and dance about only the chosen ones getting into the shelter the army is suddenly desperate to get them all inside.... Dire

Acinonyx2 · 08/02/2021 18:07

Maybe they thought Trump actually bought Greenland - after all - he did try Wink Watched it - desperate for movies. Wandavision is better though!

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 08/02/2021 18:09

For a disaster film, there was a hell of lot of roads, cars, buses, a horse farm, and McMansions and very little comet.

Why make a disaster movie with Fuck All Budget.

fallfallfall · 08/02/2021 18:10

Oddly enough I just watched “the knowing” with nickolas cage. Then saw advertisements for Greenland and though how unoriginal.

oneglassandpuzzled · 08/02/2021 18:10

Gerard Butler seemed to bring bad luck to everyone who helped him!

CormoranStrike · 08/02/2021 18:19

Agreed OP, such a cliched story line.

It was okay, but predictable.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 08/02/2021 18:20

I love Armageddon! It's much better 😁

I've actually lost count as to how many of these films start with the family estranged or the kid needs meds. Anyone want to help me make a list?

Greenland
Day After Tomorrow
San Andreas
2012
Outbreak

I know there's more!

OP posts:
PopcornFiend · 08/02/2021 18:28

I watched it and just wanted to scream at them. Rule 1 of any disaster movie = DON’T SPLIT UP!! You’ve left something on the car? Fgs ALL of you go and get it! Aargh.

frogswimming · 08/02/2021 18:30

Oooooo cheesy disaster movies are my favourite!! I didn't know about it. I am excited to watch it now!!!

Does it have a bit where people all around the world are watching the news / listening to the radio with the news of aliens / extreme weather? Often as reported by a reassuring president of the US. Nomads in a desert / French people near the Eiffel Tower / people in an igloo / somewhere with illuminated Chinese writing. That's my favourite bit in disaster movies.

Independence Day
The Day After Tomorrow
2012
The War of the Worlds

madnessitellyou · 08/02/2021 18:31

We watched this and enjoyed it on the grounds we hadn't seen a new disaster movie for a while. It all all the essential elements to keep us happy Grin

BeautifulandWilfulandDead · 08/02/2021 18:31

@QuestionableMouse I would add World War Z to that list. Technically zombie rather than disaster but always feels more like a disaster film to me.

madnessitellyou · 08/02/2021 18:32

@frogswimming It features a few things from your list including some very cheesy moments so should be acceptable!

frogswimming · 08/02/2021 18:32

Also a bit where the White House or Statue of Liberty gets destroyed or nearly does? I'm guessing not because it's called Greenland. Disappointing.

frogswimming · 08/02/2021 18:34

And a news van gets blown up and the telly goes blank. I hope it has that bit.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 08/02/2021 18:34

I love a disaster movie but this one just made me cross.

Spoiler

What I don’t get is if they managed to get to the base, why they were just accepting any old person when they’d been so strict. And if they were set up to not support medical needs, would they have been able to care for the son? Just too many questions and plot holes big enough for an asteroid to pass through.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 08/02/2021 18:34

Literally the only saving grace was Gerard Butler, who could, quite frankly, stand there and helicopter his knob while singing the Hokey Cokey for an hour and a half and I would watch it 🤣🤣

I was hoping an alien would pop out at the end or something, but it was all just a bit meh really.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 08/02/2021 18:35

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult GrinGrinGrin

madnessitellyou · 08/02/2021 18:35

@LooksLikeImStuckHere I had the same thought exactly.