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Greenland (new amazon film)

192 replies

QuestionableMouse · 08/02/2021 17:49

Everyone is fawning over it! I watched it last night and thought it was absolutely rubbish, reused the same old exhausted tropes that every disaster movie uses and was really oddly paced.

Seriously though, please can we have a disaster movie where the family aren't estranged and the kid isn't forced to have a medical condition just to advance the plot?!

OP posts:
felineflutter · 09/02/2021 00:41

YABU I enjoyed it as it had all the elements for a disaster movie and I disagree about the pacing. I thought it was well paced if a little rushed at the end.

Yes the end was a bit odd how they just accepted all the fugitives but I guess they were surprised to see them! Wink

QuestionableMouse · 09/02/2021 01:04

I absolutely love disaster movies too but this one was rubbish.

OP posts:
beautifulmonument · 09/02/2021 01:05

It was so bad it was funny.

RedPaperLantern · 09/02/2021 04:18

It was really bad. But kind of funny with it.

Shaniac · 09/02/2021 06:30

It was a run of the mill cliched disaster film.

But to answer some questions on here. America did set up bunkers and have a whole project in the cold war dedicated to building bunkers in greenland so that is not implausible at all. Also the population of greenland is absolutely miniscule, they would have either sorted their own bunker, joined in with the americans or been transported to denmarks bunkers.

Also i think GBs accent was deliberate as he wanted to go back into his Scottish accent. In the film he has been living in America a long time and adopted the accent:

Spoiler

When he is in the truck with the guy who demands his wristband the guy asks him where he is from. GB says atlanta and the guy says no where were you born, implying the guy knows he isnt American and therefore idnt deserbing of the wristband.

burnoutbabe · 09/02/2021 08:40

Yep I assumed America and Canada just offered tons of money to Greenland for the project (and would let Greenland have its share of space)

I do think the doors would face been already shut a good 10 mins earlier thought, ensuring all the support staff were inside.
And wouldn't the president also be there!

wowier · 09/02/2021 08:44

billionaires have been buying land in NZ for the last few yrs so they can survive in their bunkers.

wowier · 09/02/2021 08:46

I'm sure I read some flew over as covid was taking hold.

FelicityPike · 09/02/2021 08:55

I wondered what they all did underground for 9 months?
Folk here won’t even stay in their own houses for a few weeks!!
Also it wasn’t as bad as Geostorm.

Bagelsandbrie · 09/02/2021 08:56

I watched it with dd and ds and we all loved it! Sure it’s totally predictable and cheesy but we really enjoyed it. Love a disaster film!

wowier · 09/02/2021 08:56

Geostorm was diabolical, I didn't even finish it.

Desmondo2016 · 09/02/2021 09:00

I watched and enjoyed it without over analysing the dodgy bits! We both agreed the ending was lame tho.

TastyTicklemore · 09/02/2021 09:39

I thought wife was pregnant at the end but not clear so assume not. Could just be a flowy top!

But they'd been in the bunker with all those bunk-bed dorms for 9 months? Where did they find the privacy, the randy buggers? Grin

It was full of holes and yes, the kid effing things up (taking medication out of the bag then saying his dad was "on a plane") was frustratingly-classic disaster movie. I still kinda enjoyed it, though. But then, it has been a very boring lockdown for me...

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 09/02/2021 10:02

Talking of bad disaster films, which one was the one with the dad saving his daughter in a helicopter? It was in a skyscraper in San Francisco, I think.

Plonque · 09/02/2021 10:47

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

Talking of bad disaster films, which one was the one with the dad saving his daughter in a helicopter? It was in a skyscraper in San Francisco, I think.

San Andreas?

Letsskidaddle · 09/02/2021 12:28

Aaaarrrgggghhhhh - I suffered through this the other night! Cheesey overload - I get really cross and shout at the TV during films like this ("take the effing meds knobhead" or "get out the effing car you silly boy.."

And in horrors - "lock the fucking door for crying out loud!!" Its BASIC safety people! Shut and lock the doors and windows 😫

All I thought at the end of this one was that 9 months underground listening to GBs irritating accent and she might just decide she didn't want to forgive his affair after all!! He'd come out of there having been torn a new one 😂

Would have been a much better, much quicker film if they'd just double checked they had everything (eg LIFE SAVING MEDS FOR THEIR KID) before leaving the car.... it's kind of basic parenting! Then they could've got on the plane, arrived nice and early and settled in with a lovely cup of tea.

Finally - and apologies for the rant! - is it just me or does anyone else watch 'end of the world' type films and think "hmmm, not sure I'd bother fighting for survival, think I might just make a few 'I love you' phone calls and settle down to wait for the end of times".

I mean, would you really WANT to survive an apocalyptic event and have to begin re-populating a ravaged planet? Especially when other survivors appear to have murdered at least one other person to ensure their own survival and are often really irritating, unfaithful know-it-alls with a lack of basic common sense!

OH and I had a very heated debate about this whilst watching Greenland. He was a bit disappointed I didn't fancy fighting a bit harder to survive with him. I just thought that GB, wife, child and her dad could've had a lovely last evening together, maybe a horse ride, bit of a BBQ, meaningful chats and then just snuggled up peacefully to be obliterated in their sleep....

Lockdown is clearly getting to me 😂

Ylfa · 09/02/2021 12:32

Oh I loved this film, I was hoping for a fairly shit (sort of 5.8ish IMDB rating) action movie for effortless viewing but it was unexpectedly deep. I was quite stoned too and that usually makes shit things unwatchable so it’s definitely officially good!

hedgehogger1 · 09/02/2021 13:19

@Letsskidaddle agree completely. I said to DH I'm not sure I'd bother. Everyone else I know dead and surely horrible horrible living conditions for the rest of my life

MadameButterface · 09/02/2021 14:09

is it just me or does anyone else watch 'end of the world' type films and think "hmmm, not sure I'd bother fighting for survival, think I might just make a few 'I love you' phone calls and settle down to wait for the end of times"

totally. I genuinely would rather die than spend 9 months in a bunker in fucking Greenland with whatever sharp elbowed know it alls had managed to make it there. I have an underactive thyroid and take meds for that plus sertraline, and I don't think my life would be worth living without those either. me and my friend who is a type 1 diabetic have made a pact that the zombie apocalypse comes we're volunteering for suicide vest detail, going out in a blaze of glory taking plenty of em with us.

MadameButterface · 09/02/2021 14:10

I know I spend far too much time thinking about this btw ha

MustardMitt · 09/02/2021 14:11

I liked it, but I bloody love this genre of movie. It did tug at my heartstrings at some points....

Ylfa · 09/02/2021 14:13

If it was a zombie apocalypse I’d probably accept the situation and join them so I could get some fresh air and exercise but in the Greenland type situation I’d definitely go for the bunker.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 09/02/2021 14:28

Thanks!

It was Indeed. Much more fun that Greenland.

TastyTicklemore · 09/02/2021 14:30

I'm all for a nice creamy pasta dish, few glasses of wine, several puddings, my family and an outdoor dining seat to wait for the exinction event to come and exinct me.

Sod all that rushing for a bunker. I'd be no good afterwards, anyway. Unless the world is desperate for 'someone who's read a few dog books'. In which case, send me a ticket because I'm just your gal!

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 09/02/2021 14:33

Agree, I keep think that when I'm watching the Walking Dead.