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Greenland (new amazon film)

192 replies

QuestionableMouse · 08/02/2021 17:49

Everyone is fawning over it! I watched it last night and thought it was absolutely rubbish, reused the same old exhausted tropes that every disaster movie uses and was really oddly paced.

Seriously though, please can we have a disaster movie where the family aren't estranged and the kid isn't forced to have a medical condition just to advance the plot?!

OP posts:
ilovebagpuss · 08/02/2021 20:37

@twilightcafe I know it’s the first thing I shouted as they got in the car! Hide the bands! We all know good citizens suddenly become evil at the end of days Grin
I read that Mark Kermode loves it and has watched it 3 times! 3 ! To be fair he’s probably so bored with the lockdown film offerings.

Plonque · 08/02/2021 20:37

@JimmyTheBrave

This has to be one of the worst films I've ever seen, predictable and unoriginal.

Gerard Butler either can't do or can't be arsed to do an American accent and by the end of the film was almost full-on Scot. Absolute mess of a film.

He does a very passable American accent in the "fallen" films so I can't understand that weird transitional thing he's doing in Greenland. They could have just written it as him being a Scot in America and let him speak naturally but he zips from one to the other like he can't decide. That was a big gripe for me about the film!

RavingAnnie · 08/02/2021 20:43

I loved it. But I love a disaster movie! Very easy and entertaining viewing.

twilightcafe · 08/02/2021 20:49

And the film was so dark that we couldn't see what was happening half the time.

Snowsnowglorioussnow · 08/02/2021 20:59

its the same story trotted out time and time again and I was hooked from the first moment - it was the special singled out for evacuation that I found interesting...

I am also going to watch it again

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 08/02/2021 21:32

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Literally the only saving grace was Gerard Butler, who could, quite frankly, stand there and helicopter his knob while singing the Hokey Cokey for an hour and a half and I would watch it 🤣🤣

I was hoping an alien would pop out at the end or something, but it was all just a bit meh really.

What? An alien pop out of his helicoptering knob?

I'd definitely watch that

Plonque · 08/02/2021 21:42

As an aside, I'm watching Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri on prime right now and I can definitely recommend! (It's also on film4 +1 at 10pm tonight if you only have terrestrial tv)
It's absolutely hilarious!

TweeterandtheMonkeyman · 08/02/2021 21:51

Ha ha @frogswimming - it had all your wish list and more I think Grin Eiffel Tower snapped in half do you? What a treat you have in store!!

MrsBerthaRochester · 08/02/2021 21:51

Watched it today with my son who had already seen it. Total pants! Parents were morons and the special affects were awful. Gerard butler,I don't get it?

twilightcafe · 08/02/2021 22:11

I know nothing about Gerard Butler.
Is he an American pretending to be a Scot, or vice versa? Either way, his accent is terrible.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 08/02/2021 22:19

I didn’t understand why they waited 9 months at the end before looking to see what was left outside and contacting the other cities.

TheHelpfulHiker · 08/02/2021 22:19

We watched it last night and were equally flummoxed by Gerard Butler's accent. Took a while to realise he was meant to be Scottish.
Had high hopes but so disappointed. So many plot cul de sacs, but biggest criticism is that every single thing that happened was result of completely implausible coincidence/chance conversation/stroke of luck. I'm actually angry and devoting far too much time stewing on all the plot holes. Plus how were their phones fully charged all the time. Grrr!

KenAdams · 08/02/2021 22:25

Loved it. Stuck stoically to the disaster movie format, what could possibly go wrong?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 08/02/2021 22:31

What? An alien pop out of his helicoptering knob?

Well it would certainly have spiced things up a bit 😂😂

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 08/02/2021 22:32

We’ve watched it tonight. Utter tripe. And why was 90% of it filmed in darkness. There were long periods where you literally couldn’t see a thing.
Butler’s accent was entertaining though, I had no idea he’s Scottish Grin. Spent a few minutes in the midst of it googling him to find out where he’s from. Didn’t explain the sudden lurches into Irish though.

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 08/02/2021 22:33

@Plonque

As an aside, I'm watching Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri on prime right now and I can definitely recommend! (It's also on film4 +1 at 10pm tonight if you only have terrestrial tv) It's absolutely hilarious!
Best film ever.
Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 08/02/2021 22:47

@TheCountessofFitzdotterel

I didn’t understand why they waited 9 months at the end before looking to see what was left outside and contacting the other cities.
There's a lot of waffle about the ash clearing.
OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 08/02/2021 22:56

[quote ilovebagpuss]@twilightcafe I know it’s the first thing I shouted as they got in the car! Hide the bands! We all know good citizens suddenly become evil at the end of days Grin
I read that Mark Kermode loves it and has watched it 3 times! 3 ! To be fair he’s probably so bored with the lockdown film offerings.[/quote]
I watched it purely after catching Kermodes review on BBC. That's the last time i listen to him.
Why did Bad Good Samaritans kidnap son instead of just stealing his wristband too?
Surely the native Greenlanders and Danes would have got first dibs on the bunkers?
How can an overloaded tiny 2 prop plane get from US Canadian border to Greenland without refueling?

And how the hell do separated family find each other after miles and hours apart yet I can't locate my DH in a small Tesco after he wanders off?

Plonque · 08/02/2021 23:10

How can an overloaded tiny 2 prop plane get from US Canadian border to Greenland without refueling?

That's a named Goof on IMDb. Says that particular plane can go a maximum of 900 miles whereas the distance from Canada to Greenland is twice or three times that distance.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 08/02/2021 23:13

I think Bad Good Samaritan’s logic was that they would be let in if they had the kid because he was so cute. I am not convinced any rational person could think this.

That bit where they were in upstate New York and he rescued the man from his burning car - how utterly pointless was that? I mean it’s not like he was then going to provide medical care and get him onto the plane.

Cherrysoup · 08/02/2021 23:46

Hackneyed crap, but still enjoyed it. Her finding her son at some random what-border control? Road block? Who knows, it was utter nonsense, but quite fun. Glad it was free!

wowier · 09/02/2021 00:20

It was pretty random even for a disaster film but still enjoyed it.
Were the military beyond caring about who had a bracelet/place once you'd made the effort to get to Greenland?

ScatteredMama82 · 09/02/2021 00:21

I’m going against the majority here, I. Lordy loved it! I love a disaster movie, I let the adrenaline/emotion whizz me past any plot holes while I’m not looking. I did raise an eyebrow at the tiny prop plane making it all the way to Greenland though. 😆

wowier · 09/02/2021 00:22

And the film was so dark that we couldn't see what was happening half the time.

yes that was annoying

timegoesbysoslowly · 09/02/2021 00:30

Terrible film, was laughing by the end and screaming at the tv, how much can one family take, every disaster was thrown at them!

My DP is always moaning about the films I pick so this was hasn't helped my reputation.

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