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Original poster

Greenland (new amazon film)

192 replies

QuestionableMouse · 08/02/2021 17:49

Everyone is fawning over it! I watched it last night and thought it was absolutely rubbish, reused the same old exhausted tropes that every disaster movie uses and was really oddly paced.

Seriously though, please can we have a disaster movie where the family aren't estranged and the kid isn't forced to have a medical condition just to advance the plot?!

OP posts:
badpuma · 09/02/2021 14:33

It pissed me off from the start.

He's supposed to be a brilliant structural engineer which is why he's saved in the first place, but apparently a structural engineer who thinks it's okay to start a concrete pour on a sky scraper building late on a Friday afternoon and then not hanging around to watch it leaving his foreman to sign it off.

Why didn't the army shoot them instead of inviting them into the Greenland bunker - they could have been terrorists.

How did the child survive? They did not have enough insulin for 9 months tucked into GB's pants.

MarshaBradyo · 09/02/2021 14:33

I liked it enough as I really like big effects disaster movies

But the part where they let him off the plane was so wrong. They wouldn’t!

Also the child was annoying and the accent went awry for Gerard a few times

MarshaBradyo · 09/02/2021 14:36

The part I like is that as disasters go it was pretty swift. Might be current lockdown state.

BigRedBoat · 09/02/2021 14:46

This had plot holes you could drive a bus into but I quite enjoyed it 😆. It's basically Deep Impact x 2012 but I do have some unanswered questions

What was GBs american/Scottish accent all about?
They didn't appear to take any insulin into the bunker, presumably they didn't have a store of it down there as they excluded diabetics from entering and even if somehow they did what was the long term plan seeing as the whole world is basically rubble and they can't just whip up some more?
Why wouldn't the USA send citizens to their own bunkers? Surely they have some knocking around in their massive country?
How did they get past the derailed train? The road was already blocked then molten rocks fell and suddenly the way was clear?
Do things (comets/asteroids etc) from other solar systems just appear in ours without warning?

So overall a bit silly and clinched but better than The Drowning on channel 5 recently 😆

TyrionsNextWife · 09/02/2021 15:13

I want to know how that tiny plane made it all the way to Greenland? I don’t know much about planes, but I’m pretty sure it was far too small to carry all those people and wouldn’t have had nearly enough fuel to get from Canada to Greenland.

Plonque · 09/02/2021 15:18

@TyrionsNextWife

I want to know how that tiny plane made it all the way to Greenland? I don’t know much about planes, but I’m pretty sure it was far too small to carry all those people and wouldn’t have had nearly enough fuel to get from Canada to Greenland.

Here, the "goofs" section on IMDb!

Greenland (new amazon film)
RedPaperLantern · 09/02/2021 15:21

It’s nearly as bad as the one where he’s a meteorologist, with a sidekick with a haircut from Madchester.

greenemerald · 09/02/2021 15:33

So the consensus is this was a bad disaster movie lol so which ones would you recommend as good ones??

ginghamstarfish · 09/02/2021 15:35

Not the worst thing I've seen on Prime recently, try 'Ice' or 'Flood', both of which make the aforementioned film look like an Oscar winner.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 09/02/2021 15:41

If you want a truly and deliberately shit film on Prime try Llamageddon or Carous-hell.

They were so bad I cried laughing.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 09/02/2021 15:46

@TastyTicklemore

I'm all for a nice creamy pasta dish, few glasses of wine, several puddings, my family and an outdoor dining seat to wait for the exinction event to come and exinct me.

Sod all that rushing for a bunker. I'd be no good afterwards, anyway. Unless the world is desperate for 'someone who's read a few dog books'. In which case, send me a ticket because I'm just your gal!

Absolutely this Grin
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 09/02/2021 16:23

My favourite disaster movie was the Day After Tomorrow, with the snow.

sadpapercourtesan · 09/02/2021 16:25

We watched Greenland on Sunday and I was so disappointed. I was excited to see it as Armageddon and Deep Impact are two of my favourite films (minor obsession with asteroids!).

It was rubbish. Not enough space/comet/science, poor special effects, weak, boring characters. Thoroughly forgettable Sad

AdditionalCharacter · 09/02/2021 16:28

Twister is a great disaster movie. One of my favourites.

LizBennet · 09/02/2021 16:31

Deep Impact is probably my favourite disaster movie.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 09/02/2021 16:56

@ginghamstarfish

Not the worst thing I've seen on Prime recently, try 'Ice' or 'Flood', both of which make the aforementioned film look like an Oscar winner.
Flood made me stabby. There's a scene where they're trapped in a car in rising water and cent get the doors open. Much ado about finding something to get the boot open.

Only it's a sodding Ford Sierra and I'm 99% sure they had manual windows, at least in the back. Just wind the fricking thing down and climb out ffs Hmm😂😂😂

OP posts:
viques · 09/02/2021 17:05

Haven’t seen it.

Is there a scene where the child is asleep and the leads talk quietly over it?

Is there a mutt looking dog?

Is there a kindolder person in a subservient job who doesn’t make it through to the final credits?

Is there a scene wher GB drives through a city where everyone is panicking but doesn’t hit anyone?

If not , why not?

viques · 09/02/2021 17:07

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

My favourite disaster movie was the Day After Tomorrow, with the snow.
Was that the one with escaped wolves? There should always be an element of danger involving hungry animals with teeth.
Plonque · 09/02/2021 17:08

I'm glad to see the Deep Impact love ❤️ I always preferred it over Armageddon. They came out the same year but Armageddon had all the big stars in it so it seemed to "win"

KenAdams · 09/02/2021 17:13

Seeing as I appear to have found my people, can I have a list of your top disaster movies please?

Mine are:
Armaggedon
Deepwater Horizon (although this is real and extremely sad so be prepared)
Contagion
Deep Impact

Bagelsandbrie · 09/02/2021 17:16

Poseidon adventure - both the original and new versions- are my faves. It’s what started me off on my love of disaster films!!

MarshaBradyo · 09/02/2021 17:24

Contagion - definitely favourite
Armaggedon
Deepwater Horizon but can’t remember much
Deep Impact
Day After Tomorrow

Love a good disaster movie but could be more high quality ones as demand is there

Tequilasun · 09/02/2021 17:33

I actually love a cheesy disaster end of the world movie. Any other recommendations. Love a good old contagious virus movie as well.
Going through Prime and Netflix's now to find some to watch later.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 09/02/2021 17:35

I think there were some wolves there, there was also a library in NY where they had to burn books and that somehow stopped the cold.

But I might well be conflating two different films. At least I'm certain there were no zombies involved.

wowier · 09/02/2021 18:12

2012 - the arks are the bunkers