Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only.

[bearlyactive]

For example:

Q: "How do you cook an egg?"
A: "Fry it on the bonnet of your car, especially in this heat."

My question to you is...
Why do storks raise one leg?

[bearlyactive]

When they both hit their fifties.

When should I start a new thread?

[drspouse]

On the twelfth of never.

Why hasn't my brother stopped annoying me when we are now both in our 50s?

[Lweji]

'Cause he's Peter Pan.

I need to get a tan. Suggestions?

[bearlyactive]

Orange juice mixed with moisturiser and applied to skin liberally. Alternatively, you could ask Donald Trump.

How can I stop my sugar cravings??????

[WinnieTheW0rm]

Catch Covid and have enduring anosmia

How will Father Christmas manage mask and beard?

[inappropriateraspberry]

He will outsource it to elves in India, and the gift drop will be cheaper and more efficient allowing him to stay mask free with his reindeer.

Will the wind break my greenhouse glass again?

[x2boys]

Yes ,yes it will ,what use are flies and why are there so many of them?

[Xmasfairy86]

they help keep my windows clean and cannot move unless they are in the company of 3948349 other flies

cream or jam first?

[x2boys]

Gravy ,will my town come out of local restrictions this week as numbers are going down?

[TracyBeakerSoYeah]

Only if Boris says go out to play, but make sure you stay indoors, go out to eat to help out, but make sure you stay indoors, don't meet up with friends but do have friends in your garden. Wear a mask but only if there is an R in the month & make sure you go out for a walk & back to work but please stay at home.
Then only if you go camping in Scotland but not really go camping in Scotland & play a musical instrument whilst having you eyes tested whilst driving your car.
Then local lockdown restrictions will ease.

Why are bees so furry & cute?

[TheoriginalLEM]

Because they are not wasps

Why is it so windy?

[Alexindiamondarmour]

Because I ate baked beans this morning, sorry about that.

Will man ever live on mars?

[Sunbird24]

My dad tried but he started getting a bit tubby round the middle so he’s had to go back to healthy eating.

Who will my next phone call come from?

[bearlyactive]

Me.

I wanna know what love is... so what is love?

[Alexindiamondarmour]

Baby don’t hurt me. I don’t know the answer.

Will it rain when I move house tomorrow?

[WinnieTheW0rm]

No, the hail will hammer down so hard there will be no space for mere raindrops

What will DS leave behind when he moves back to university town?

[TheoriginalLEM]

His handbag, with his eyelash curlers in.

Will boris resign?

[Lweji]

Yes, in order to succeed the Queen.

What will happen if I open my windows?

[WinnieTheW0rm]

The serious sexual sadist who has been watching you will come in and steal your underwear

Which box set should I watch next?

[EmbarrassingAdmissions]

Packing Cubes: A Case Study in Anachronism

Providing additional guidance and support to parents about sleep, diet and physical activity from birth to 2 years of age prevent obesity in childhood?

(Name of a trial I've just seen - slightly adapted.)

[Regularname]

The book Suitable Boy

Why do I get the nosebleeds on the days I forget to take tissues?

[Regularname]

Providing additional guidance and support to parents about sleep, diet and physical activity from birth to 2 years of age prevent obesity in childhood?

No free sweets for all? Why do I get the nosebleeds on the days I forget to take tissues?

[Alexindiamondarmour]

Because they wait to see how inconvenient they can be for you.

Who will get the last post on this thread, and will it continue?

[x2boys]

You will just have to wait and see and it will continue untill it doesn't ,
Why do people bring patients grapes when they visit them in hospital why not pears ?

[TracyBeakerSoYeah]

Because pears are now banned from being used as the ball in bedside netball/basketball/volleyball as too many windows were broken due to unripe pears.
Grapes were voted in as a necessary replacement as there were millions of them just hanging around in the NHS & no one knew what to do with them.

Who will start part 2 of this thread?