Most useless thing you know how to do

[NotARealAvery]

I know how to say ‘I am 13 years old’ I’m now 32 and count up to 10 in German.

That’s all I can remember from my German lessons in school.

I know ‘How Much is that Doggy in the Window?’ backwards

A Polish schoolfriend taught us all to say our number in the register in Polish, so I can say my number. Just mine, not anyone else's. In 50 years I have yet to find a use for it.

half a Spanish nursery rhyme

Say the alphabet backwards

I can hand milk a cow. Which is not that useful in central London.

I know how to putty a window properly.

I’m fairly sure I will never need to use that particular skill again.

Cross my toes, big toe over second.

Roll perfectly thin roll-up cigarettes. I don't smoke. Used to help my dad when I was little as he used to roll hundreds of the bloody things for the next day. Do still love the smell of the golden Virginia tobacco though.

I can pronounce and spell Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­Goch.

@BlackeyedSusan ooo me too.

@BadTimesAtTheElRoyale are you my ex bfs mum? My dc were amazed at you her being able to say that.

Uhhh. I can darn a pointe shoe. Fairly useless as I haven't danced en pointe for 15 years.

I can sing 'Silent Night' in German. There has been surprisingly little call for that particular skill in life given to how long our German teacher devoted to teaching us it.

Not sure if it's odd but no one else I know can do it.
I can flip my tongue on its side on both sides and keep flipping it quite fast.
Also been told I have a lizard tongue because of its length

I can fit 10 full size marshmallows in my mouth at once. This is completely pointless and possibly dangerous on reflection so I don't do it anymore, but I'm weirdly proud of it.

Wire a three pin plug.
Call someone a dickhead in Greek.
Say "never mind" in Arabic.
Sing the first verse of a random hymn (not Adeste Fideles) in Latin.

Oh yeah pombear reminded me, I can recite half of How Horatius Kept the Bridge and the whole of Jabberwocky

I can make a corn dolly (a Norfolk lantern to be precise)

danadas Stille nacht, hielige nacht!!! Excuse the spelling!!

I can rap the fastest part of Eminem’s Rap God, off by heart and I’ll never need that , ever. But in case I’m ever held at gun point and asked to do something fairly impressive , I should be ok!

I can do the cup song, singing and with the cup in perfect time

I can make an apple pie bed (as used in many a school story). As no one uses proper sheets these days, this skill is totally redundant. It wasn't hat much use in the first place, to be fair.

Spin a coin one handed.

Wheelspin.

I can crochet left handed (I'm right handed). It has been useful only once when I taught someone left handed how to crochet.

I can make a chicken out of a tea towel

I can make a chicken out of a tea towel

I literally just clicked this thread to say exactly this!

I can disassemble, clean and reassemble a rifle.
Read the Greek alphabet (although I can't remember any translation now really)
Know some random Turkish, such as children (Cocuklar) and Captain (binbasher)