Most useless thing you know how to do

[NotARealAvery]

I know how to say ‘I am 13 years old’ I’m now 32 and count up to 10 in German.

That’s all I can remember from my German lessons in school.

I can wiggle my ears. Touch my elbows behind my back. I thought the elbow thing was unique until I started yoga classes.

Say "I am Japanese" in Mandarin. I'm not.

I can wash a watercolour painting.

I can fix the inside of one of those talking Cricket dolls to get them working again.

Speak Latin. As in have a chat, rather than just read or write it. Our teacher at school was obsessed with getting us to speak fluently, presumably in case we ever fell through a wormhole back to Ancient Rome.

I can count to ten in French, German, Spanish, Romanian, Polish and Latvian. I used to be able to do it in Turkish, too, but the Turkish child in my class left before I had it perfected. Totally useless, but does get me a bit of kudos with the kids I work with at school.

I can also sing some of Hit Me Baby One More Time in German (Schlauf ich baby noch einmal).

I can solve a rubix cube. Again, pointless, but kudos with kids at school.

I know some words of Tamil. I can say egg on your head, hurry/quick, and bug.

This has not had any use in my life to date bar telling my children to juldi (sp?) like my grandparents told me.

Fit my fist in my mouth

I can recite all the books of the bible (in order)...

I love it when those questions come up on quiz shows like 'what is the fifth book of the old testament?' or 'which book of the bible comes after Ezra?'. Aside from that, no use whatsoever.

I can say the word 'pervert' in Mandarin

I can form a small choir with danadas as I learned silent night in German in primary school. No idea why, since there were no German kids at school, we weren’t actually learning it as a language either. Still it’s stuck in my brain unlike all the useful things I actually have to remember 🙄

I can do a verse of silent night in German! But only the descant...so doubly useless really.

I can also make those little bishop hat napkins...great if I lived in the 70s...slightly dated now.

Wire a three pin plug

That's not useless! I had to wire a plug a few weeks ago.

I can't think of one for myself ... er .... I can make beautiful fire-lighting spills from strips of newspaper and I know how to wash feather boas.

I can raise a single eyebrow and wiggle my ears, skills I taught myself in my 20s.

I know all the words to the periodic table song.
I can touch my nose with my tongue and do the clover fold with my tongue.
I can wiggle my ears.
Arch my eyebrows individually.
Put my fist in my mouth.
Put my legs behind my head.

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I can date a costume with a ten- ish year window. A bit rusty on 1600' s though.

@itsemily
Its good to know you like when people learn BSL.
My 16 yr old home schooled son has always been fascinated by sign language even though we have no one who needs it in our lives. So much so he has just started a course at the local college to learn properly.

I can count to ten in Irish. I’m not Irish and haven’t ever been there either.

I can sex a vole.

Drive a tractor!

If I hold a pen in each hand I can write forwards and backwards at the same time. I can't write backwards unless I'm writing forwards though.

Can also make a chicken out of a tea towel and recite all the books of the bible in order.

itsemily

Unless you are conversing with a scouser, fingerspelling can be very useful.

Reasonably fluent in Makaton sign language
Can tell someone to fuck off in Arabic
Can still make those knotted friendship bracelets.

Go me!

I'm really good at hula-hooping