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Original poster

Most useless thing you know how to do

232 replies

NotARealAvery · 01/02/2020 12:43

I know how to say ‘I am 13 years old’ I’m now 32 and count up to 10 in German.

That’s all I can remember from my German lessons in school.

OP posts:
gingajewel · 02/02/2020 11:42

I can recite a lot of 90s and 00s rap word perfect which amazes my kids!
I can fit my fist in my mouth!
And last night I realised how incredibly good I am at guessing people on the masked singer 🙌

Tyrozet · 02/02/2020 11:46

Can someone please explain why being able to wire a plug isn't useful?

DGRossetti · 02/02/2020 11:50

I taught myself runes at primary school. I still remember them and occasionally wrote things out, but it is such a useless skill

I had to learn Latin at school, and it's rarely unused, strangely. In a multilingual world, it's a handy tool.

iklboo · 02/02/2020 11:52

Can someone please explain why being able to wire a plug isn't useful?

Most plugs on appliances today are sealed units so you can't open them to rewire. Not so much useless as a dying art.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/02/2020 11:57

We moved from Germany to UK last summer. The ability to rewire plugs saved us a fortune... Plus you do know you can cut a sealed plug off and wire a new one on if necessary? (Like our dishwaher, where the plug socket is above the kitchen counter...)

Boireannachlaidir · 02/02/2020 12:00

Rolller skate backwards.

Say hurry up in Hebrew.

Count backwards (very quickly) in German and to a lesser extent in Japanese.

LauraLooDerby · 02/02/2020 12:00

@GetTheGoodLookingGuy
The joys of Sunday school! Did you learn it to a tune...?!

BlouseAndSkirt · 02/02/2020 12:01

Tickle trout.

BlouseAndSkirt · 02/02/2020 12:03

Though tickling trout could become useful big serious food shortages or unmanageable rises in food costs transpire. I also know poaching techniques for grouse and pheasant.

Flairhead · 02/02/2020 12:08

I can fold a napkin to look like a water lily.

Like a PP I can also spell and pronounce Llanfair-PG. My dad is Welsh and taught me when I was about 8. I can even do it while drunk! I know some words and phrases in Welsh but couldn't hold a conversation.

Trained myself to raise my left eyebrow.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 02/02/2020 12:11

Fire-eating (like at the circus).

TriangularRatbag · 02/02/2020 12:15

@DisgraceToTheYChromosome

I can raise a single eyebrow and wiggle my ears, skills I taught myself in my 20s.

The eyebrow thing seems endlessly useful Hmm

The 1920s?

wantmoresleep · 02/02/2020 12:23

I can pronounce the LlanfairPG place name too, and weirdly was once asked to do so whilst being served in a Sainsbury's near Reading!

AlCalavicci · 02/02/2020 12:24

@FloraGreysteel
I had a instant vision of you stood at the kitchen sink with your marigolds on and a bowl of hot soap water and one of them pan scrubbing brushes , I am guessing this may not be the right way ro wash a painting .

I genuine question if anyone knows how to clean a oil ( on board ) painting i would love to know. I have a painting done by my GF almost 60 years ago and its living in smokers houses ever since.
It has never been cleaned Sad

Stravapalava · 02/02/2020 12:26

Another member of the German Silent Night choir reporting for duty!

I can also raise one eyebrow, flare my nostrils and wiggle my ears.

I'm double jointed so I can pop loads of joints out.

I can recite The Highway Man by Alfred Noyes, The Adventures of Isobel by Ogden Nash and The Fairies by William Allington off by heart. Also Boom Shake The Room, for a bit of balance!

I still know most of the Steps dances. Grin

AlCalavicci · 02/02/2020 12:26

oh I can wiggle my ears and twitch my nose too

AlCalavicci · 02/02/2020 12:30

@MacavityTheDentistsCat
Ooh now that is a good party trick , how and why did you learn to do that ?

TheJoxter · 02/02/2020 12:33

I know, in theory, how to skin and gut a pheasant

Never put it to practice though, I’m a lifelong vegetarian

TheMemoryLingers · 02/02/2020 12:33

Another who can sing (albeit tunelessly) "Window the in doggy that is much how, tail waggly the with one the ..."

GerundTheBehemoth · 02/02/2020 12:35

Make an origami vulture.

NeverTwerkNaked · 02/02/2020 12:35

Tie a clove hitch one handed with my eyes shut . From doing sail training on a big square rigger and being terrified when out on the yards (the poles sticking out from the mast) so I wanted one hand to hang on with and I didn't want to look down Grin

iklboo · 02/02/2020 12:37

Oooh another German Silent Night-er as well. And I can play it on the glockenspiel.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 02/02/2020 12:41

AlCalavicci I learned at school when I was 16. There was a Clowning Club where you could learn stuff like stilt-walking, juggling and fire-eating. It was years ago though - I doubt health and safety regulations would allow it now!

lumpy76 · 02/02/2020 12:42

Set a fire to cook on without firefighters and light with only 2 matches (girls guides), make a bedding roll and also a draining board out or sticks and string - again girl guides!

Say "show me please" in Russian - also "how are you" and "good bye"

SuperMeerkat · 02/02/2020 12:43

I know all the words to The Fresh Prince of Belair (the full version) and can say ‘i’m brushing my teeth’ in German.