Most useless thing you know how to do

[NotARealAvery]

I know how to say ‘I am 13 years old’ I’m now 32 and count up to 10 in German.

That’s all I can remember from my German lessons in school.

I can tie a double hooked wire trace and know multiple different knots. I no longer go fishing.

@LauraLooDerby, yep. It came in very useful when we played a game in Sunday school which began thus: "my Bible has 1172 pages. Which page does suchandsuchabook start in my Bible?" and then we'd go round the circle guessing and he'd say higher or lower. The winner got a custard cream (and we'd play until the packet was empty!)

I can sing along with Rammstein. I failed German at school but I can pretty much translate their songs.

I can recite the whole of Star Wars, episode 4, A new hope. Including the alien bits. I can't imagine this will ever be useful.

I can fit my fist in my mouth

Obviously I just tried this and there’s no way I can do it! Do you have a really small hand, @gingajewel??

I can sing " seasons of love" from the musical RENT in Italian
It's the only Italian I know

@MacavityTheDentistsCat
I cant imagine many 16 year olds been allowed to learn fire eating now !
I must admit it is the kind of thing I would like to casually do when entering a room full of people , walk in one door with the torch eat fire while crossing the room and out another door without stopping or saying anything

I can say grace in Hebrew - I'm not Jewish, I don't come from a Jewish family, I don't believe in any religion. I worked one summer at a Jewish summer camp when I was at uni and it just stuck. 25+ years later its still there and I have never had a reason to use it.

I can play chopsticks on a piano.

The German Silent Night choir with glockenspiel accompaniment is coming along nicely!

Fold my teenagers washing

I can say the cat is on the tablet in German, the dog is in the road in latin. I can also say LlanfairPG and know the first verse of O come all ye faithful in 3 languages.

I know how to tie a falconer's knot, with one hand. In the olden days, I used to volunteer in a bird of prey hospital. Actually, it does come in handy for tying up and releasing things one-handed.

Wright a cue list for and operate a two preset, manual lighting desk. It’s a piece of equipment which went out with the ark, equivalent to knowing how to set a video recorder or use a rotary dial phone.

I know all the words to the John Barnes rap for the England World Cup 1990 song!

I can say ‘with or without cream?’ in German.

I can remember the registration of my first car that I got in 1994, but have no idea what my current car (that I’ve had for 5 years) is!

I can call someone an arse violin in German

A collegue can recite pi to the 150 cifre (I checked).

I still can recite some longer ballads by heart (German ones so you won't know them - I learned this when I was about 6 from DM).
I can smell if bread is going mouldy before any mould appears.

AND ... - ..... I can sing Stille Nacht in English - only the first verse though.

I can say 'you are more stupid than a donkey' in Latin.

I can sing about kookaburra sitting in old gum trees in three languages (English, German, Welsh).

I am in ever such high demand at parties.

I can sign the songs "let it go" and "don't stop me now" and "just give me a reason" in BSL. ( Thanks to You Tube) I will be able to warn any BSL speakers of an atom bomb about to go off.

Also Libéré, Délivré ( Let it go) en français.

I can sing a summary of Napoleon's domestic policy to the tune of the National Anthem (1986 O Level revision)

The Britney Spears German is wrong. Back to the drawing board for you!

Why have I just tried to fit my fist in my mouth?

I can put a whole chocolate digestive in my mouth in one go

I can juggle. I should find a circus to join!