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Original poster

I can solve all your problems, forever

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 20:41

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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BitOfFun · 27/03/2019 20:42

Should I get a quick bath before The Bay, or will I miss the start?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 20:48

You'll miss the start, however, can you pause live TV? If not, upgrade your package.

OP posts:
CurtainsOpen · 27/03/2019 20:56

Logging this with 101.

heidipi · 27/03/2019 21:00

Is DD1 ready for a sleepover this time? Or will I have to go and get her at 11pm again (and thus no wine on a Saturday night?) Should we just skip it wait til she's 23?

SneakyGremlins · 27/03/2019 21:02

Should I have another meal despite having one an hour ago or is that greedy?

FermatsTheorem · 27/03/2019 21:03

Friends have suggested that my annoying streak of scientifically based scepticism is due to my chakras not being aligned. How urgently do I need them seen to? Should I go to A&E, try the out-of-hours service, phone 101 or wait till tomorrow morning to see my GP? Or should I try the Mitchell and Webb approach of extending my lifeline by drawing on my palm with biro?

LtGreggs · 27/03/2019 21:03

School break up tomorrow for 2.5 weeks. How to keep my cool and help kids have a nice holiday please? Whilst working full time. Kids are 10 & 12yo. TIA

AyahuascaTrip · 27/03/2019 21:04

Please can you bring me some sort of lemon/lime drink? Very thirsty. Thanks.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 21:10

heidi is your child ambulatory? Then she is ready, cut the apron strings and drink at least a bottle of Bacardi. Go into town and sleep with a Fuckboy and wake up in Shoreditch. You deserve it.

OP posts:
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DogHairEverywhere · 27/03/2019 21:11

I've scalded my fanny trying to steam it with my steam mop.

Luaa · 27/03/2019 21:13

I'd forgotten how good it was in thighland. I'm back to my thigh ways, watching other people run around whilst I am sat/laid on my new sofa, drinking gin. How could I have allowed myself to get lost in time away from my thisters?!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 21:14

Fermats i think you should stop trying to run away from our wedding. It's booked, i don't mind that you do sums all the time, it's cute.

OP posts:
FermatsTheorem · 27/03/2019 21:15

Oh, thank god the wedding's still on.

sar302 · 27/03/2019 21:15

Actually laughed out loud at sleeping with a fuck boy and waking up in shoreditch.

Untrained nurse, you are wise beyond your years.

Ticklingcheese · 27/03/2019 21:15

Happy birthday thigh you are now officially a senile, menopausal enfant terrible 😀.
Hope you got my bread cutting mashine 😏.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 21:15

Greg send your children to your place of work and stay home. They've had enough of a free ride, it's time for you to rest. Buy a slanket, relax.

OP posts:
heidipi · 27/03/2019 21:16

Thanks Thigh! That's that sorted then. Fuckboy and Shoreditch you say... bring it on 😎

SammySamSam09 · 27/03/2019 21:16

Should I sell my car and buy a horse instead?

FermatsTheorem · 27/03/2019 21:18

Psst... as a menopausal woman, where do I find a fuckboy? (For that matter, as a non-Londoner, where do I find Shoreditch?)

Cough... asking for a friend, of course.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 21:18

Trip fake a heart attack and gasp liqqquuuiiiddd at the paramedics then weakly point to lemon squash after they break down your door.

OP posts:
moonlight1705 · 27/03/2019 21:19

Do I sit here and giggle at my newborns very loud farts or do I go be grown up and change the disgusting nappy?

ProjectGainsborough · 27/03/2019 21:19

Sammy yes of course you should

Shinofsolace · 27/03/2019 21:20

Well, I see the tone of this thread is being lowered already.

ProjectGainsborough · 27/03/2019 21:20

Can everyone stop namechanging. Tickling are you ... Danish?