The Anti Celebrity Bus is now boarding....

[PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass]

Form an orderly queue please with the celebrity/celebrities you cannot abide and lets ship them off to the far side of fuck. I've popped Lulu, Michael Ball and Chris Evans on already. Whose next?

Move down the bus please to make room for Richard E Grant, Niki Minaji, Tony Blair, not he counts as a celebrity, if not I'll stick him on the next bus.

I always say this but Bill Turnbull. Odious, smug little bellend.

Also Rachel Riley (also smug), Amanda Byram (smug), Bryan McFadden (obviously).

Make room for
Anthia Turner !
Greg Wallis !
Amanda Holden !

Hugh Grant just tripped & fell on his smug face on to Kim Kardashians big ego.

Adrian Chiles and his foetus face.

Myleene Bloody Klass and on the reserve list in case someone doesn't turn up for departure, Katherine Bloody Ryan

Budge up for Graham Norton, Kanye West and Charlotte Church!

Elaine Paige on radio 2
twiggy
Jimmy Carr
😡😡

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Katie Hopkins yet!

I'd like to add:

Eddie Izzard (after his ridiculous performance on Question Time)
Fiona Bruce
Russell Brand
Anthea Turner
Kardashian trash
Charlotte Church
Chris Evans

I don't want to filll up the bus but could add plenty more.

Peter Andre!

Or is he the driver?

I'm sneaking Michael Ball, Richard E Grant and Graham Norton off your bus and onto my Lovely Celebs Bus.

Replacing them with Bruce Forsyth, Leigh Francis and Kirsten Dunst.

Howay, Cheryl, on yer get, pet. Budge up a bit for Simon.

Mick Hucknall is swearing at old ladies out the back window.

Who's that awful comedian??? Sweaty and unfunny... yes, Lee Evans. On you get!

The entire Kardashian Jenner family
Kelly Brook

Nicky Campbell trying to interview everyone and intellectualise the journey
Davina McCall hoping to stand in as the bus driver cos she's done everything, don't you know and has the experience
Frankie Boyle is the odious twat at the back

The bus is getting a bit full up so maybe I could use it to run Ant and Dec over. Save a bit of room on the bus

Sorry Enid but Richard E Grant is strapped in and ready for departure. I've just checked and there are still a few empty seats so I'm plonking Peirs Morgan and Lady Gaga
Where's the bus going, it's not just a day trip is it?

Russel Brand
Davina McCall
Dermot OLeary
Rebecca Adlington
Richard Hammond
Holly Willoughby
The Wright family (Mark, Jessica, the scary mum)
Lauren Goodger
Jesy Nelson
Jessica Ennis
George Clooney and his wife Maureen Lipman and
Jeremy Corbyn
Diane Abbot
Kieran - Katie Prices husband. Katie can wave him off!
The Obama's - put them in the boot if no more seats.

Nigel Farage

Think we need a double decker Tate

Katie Price.....she'll be mooning out the back window
All the 'Loose Women' mob (past and present)
Phil & Holly....I can hear them laughing hysterically over nothing right now
Steph Davis
Michael Ball
Jimmy Carr......can't bear his little old man face
James Corden
Sarah Millican
Chloe Madeley
(My bus is a double decker)

I'd remove Michael Ball, Greg Wallace and Jimmy Carr and replace them with PRick Stein, Vanessa Feltz and the Welsh woman from The One Show.

I love Michael Ball, he's lovely! I will pick him up at the bus station along with Nigel Farage and Elaine Paige and take them out for lunch!

That will free up three spaces!

Will Smith's children can get on board. William and Jayden scowl face.