The Anti Celebrity Bus is now boarding....

[PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass]

Form an orderly queue please with the celebrity/celebrities you cannot abide and lets ship them off to the far side of fuck. I've popped Lulu, Michael Ball and Chris Evans on already. Whose next?

Adrian 'call me Ade' Edmondson
Katherine Jenkins

That Nicola. The one with yogurt on her face.

Hang on Claudia Winklemans got to squeeze on - hope it's a long trip .

Chloe Maddeley will be able to squeeze on top of a parcel shelf.

Sharon Osborne will be trouble fitting on because of the size of her massive ego.

Oh! Oh! Hold the bus!!! Tess Daly's on her way!
and wait for Nicola Sturgeon! She's just heard Hobbs has got a sale on and she really needs another matching dress and jacket

Save a space for Louis Walsh please. Amanda Holden can sit on his head.

And where shall we drive the bus to?

Off a cliff.

Natalie Cassidy.

Awww what did Jessica Ennis do and Katherine Dunst?

I think them off and the there's room for Stephen fry

Cherie Blair. She can collect the fares ( and trouser them? )

There will be no removal of celebrities once they have boarded I'm afraid. Michael Ball is staying on that bus! Claire Balding is in the driver's seat. Destination is the far side of fuck.

The Beckhams have just arrived with their baby celebs! Is there a 1st class section for them, or shall we sit them in the luggage?

We can't lump Graham Norton with the rest of them! Let him off!

No first class.... They all get to sit in the shit seats. Barbara Winsor put up a good fight but I managed to get her on.

No one gets off......themselves the rules 😃

Noel Edmunds is a late booking. He can be in charge of the glee club (to stop them all getting cancer).

Thems not themselves, bloody phone!

Oh god, after last nights post about Noel and his furious wanking in a dream he had better go in the luggage hold.

Please please, can we find room for the two knob heads from Pointless?

Well, Noel's seat will have to wipe-clean. No flock covered seat for him. Danniella Westbrook has a ticket.

I'm adding Adam from Countryfile and James Martin.

Dowser Have you ever seen Kirsten Dunst interviewed? Thick as two short planks, humourless and unbelievably full of her own self importance. If the officially lovely Michael Ball is on the bus then smug Kirsten is definitely going on it.

Move up for Dom Littlewood, please. Him and his self righteousness might need to go in the luggage hold.

Is Stephen Fry on yet? If not can we wait for hime please.

Angeline Jolie will be on in a minute, I'm just giving her a bath with Dettol first.

Cripes, don't put Katie Price and Peter Andre on the same bus

Freddie Starr.