A horrible, horrible thing happened****warning, potential trigger****

[JustDontWantToSay]

I'm going to keep this as vague as possible because I don't want my friend to find out.
Last night I stayed with my friend and her husband - known them a long time, stayed many times before.
We went out for dinner, we'd all been drinking (not silly amounts) and then we sat down to watch a film. I fell asleep during the film and when I woke up my friend had gone to bed and her husband had changed the channel to soft core porn and had his fingers inside me. I immediately pushed him away but he was resistant and when I managed to scramble away he started a conversation about the porn! I was so utterly shocked that I just left the room immediately and went to bed.
I've now woken up, I'm still here, WWYD??

God you are so brave, really admire you holding it together and being strong

The police will take your telephone notes/records seriously.

Without wishing to be flippant at all, I witnessed a road rage assault and tapped the registration plate into a memo on my phone. It turned out to be the start of my shopping list, so the police & CPS went ahead based on:

broccoli
yoghurt
defendant's registration plate

OP - well done. We are all here for you. Holding your hand. You're a strong woman and you will get through this. HUgs. xx

Just read the whole thread. All I can say, Just, is WOW. You are so brave and even though I don't know you, I can't tell you how proud of you I feel. Stay strong and remember, this is NOT your fault. I believe you.

How are you doing just ?

Hope the new business is keeping you busy :)

Have you heard from your bf?

I hope your ok, we're all here for you.

He's got (or did have) Rohypnol in the house, or similar. Your recollection of the first assault indicates that he administered something and probably did the same to his wife so he could assault you undisturbed. It's likely that he did the same thing the last time when you woke up in the middle of it.

None of his actions were on the spur-of-the-moment but thoroughly premeditated, and I doubt that you were his first and only victim. He's been doing this or things like it for some time, I reckon.

I'd be interested in hearing any latest developments, if there are any.

Dear OP, I have no wise words, sorry, but just wanted to add my voice on here, in solidarity to you and to wish you strength. We are here for you.

Hi OP - you have been extremely brave and absolutely did the right thing in reporting.

Your bf is a tosser, by the way, but I'm sure you've worked that one out for yourself.

OP ive only just caught this thread. Am sending you hugs and support.

Who on earth said it was classed as a non urgent crime?

Same here OP, I hope they throw the book at him.

I just read this. Hope you are okay op xx

I've just read this whole thread. OP you are so strong. The power of mn is a wonderful thing. I'm sure you are glad you posted on here now to get the strength to go to the police.

I'm so pleased the police are taking it very seriously. I wish you strength to get through this.

OP you are a strong and wonderful person. You deserve much better than men like your ex around as I'm sure you know. Only the best for you!! I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. But even with everything going on for you right now you've been strong and you have done absolutely the right thing, that speaks volumes about who you are and what you can do. You can kick loser bf to the kerb because you don't need him.

I'm so glad you reported this, a man like this is a danger to everyone including his family. As others have said, nothing you could have done would explain or excuse what he did. You would have been right to report whatever the situation with your friend, but fwiw if I was his wife I would want to know. I hope she gets out and takes the child with her as soon as possible. Although who knows what has been going on there and for how long.

I hope you're doing ok.

Best wishes to you OP.

Just saw this thread OP.
Well done for reporting this piece of shit to the police.
You said you had nobody there for you, one of my best friends went through this recently, a trial etc and has came out the other end.
I'm sure she would be more than happy to support you and/or give you info or advice on what to expect.

Send me a pm if you're interested and I'll put you in touch with her. ((((Hugs))))

Just found this thread and wanted to say thank you.

Brave women like you are making this world a safer place for my daughters.

Dreadful story, how are you doing now?

Hi everyone :)

Thank you so much for posting and asking after me. I'm fine

The investigation is still going on - then it will be sent to the CPS and they'll review the evidence and decide whether or not to charge him.

It's funny how much my feelings have changed. When it first happened I just wanted to run away and hide from the whole situation. I certainly didn't want to report him. And I honestly believe that were it not for the support of everyone on mn I would not have done anything. I just didn't have a clue.

But now I am so pleased I did. And I hope he is charged. And I hope there is a trial. And I will attend with my head held high and my dignity intact. Because he CANNOT do this to ME and expect to get away with it. He probably thinks he will. I think he has sociopathic tendencies. I dread to think what he's done to others.

I think I'm more affected by the whole thing than I realised. It's dawned on me recently that I have an almost hatred of men at the moment - if I think they're attracted to me. I will be downright rude. And it panics me to think of being in any sort of relationship. And my sex drive has disappeared completely. I thought it was all just anxiety and general life stress, but maybe not? Maybe there's a subconscious thing going on? I certainly think about it a lot. And run it all over in my mind - was there ANY possible way he could have thought I consented?? There just isn't. None. He very simply tried to get me drunk and/or drugged and then carried out a plan he had formed another time. He disgusts me beyond words. I am so bloody angry!! How dare he???

But I am also so relieved to feel that I made the right decision. Thank you all lovely mnetters xxxxxx Without you lot this wouldn't have happened and I am so grateful and honoured to be part of a forum where this type of support exists. You should all be very, very proud of yourselves. Thank you xxxxxxx

I will of course update the minute I hear anything.

People saying bad things need to shut the fuck up. This exact scenario happens more than people know, and no, people don't always report. Sometimes it hurts to much and is too scary to do so.

OP I have PM'd you x

OP you are amazing. I wish I had your strength I really do.

Another person here with no wise words, just to say thank you, you are an incredibly brave & determined lady. I admire you much.
I know it's going to take time, and sincerely hope he gets what's coming to him. But either way , you have made a difference. And hopefully stopped his sick perverted crimes.

I hope that you can trust again and have the life your deserve.