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Original poster

Why some women don't identify with feminism

390 replies

happysmiley · 25/04/2010 10:57

I aaw on another tread someone saying that the more they thought about it, the more they thought they weren't a feminist. Someone else on a different thread said that the Feminism topic has a "reputation" elsewhere. I know that if I were to ask most of my female friends if they were feminists, I'd probably just get a puzzled look, maybe a reluctant "yes" but not much enthusiasm.

So why is this? Why don't women identify with feminism?

And what can we do to get women on board? Because if women aren't willing to sign up, men hardly will.

OP posts:
MillyR · 25/04/2010 12:53

There are two billion Christians, including one billion Catholics. There are about 1.2 billion Muslims.

Tortington · 25/04/2010 12:52

just picking up happysmiley's point re; the going out to work takingpressure off her dh.

i would just like to remind you that wokring class women have a lways worked - AND that the right to work wasn't won.

now equal pay is a diff matter. and ofcourse needs to be sorted

dittany · 25/04/2010 12:50

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Molesworth · 25/04/2010 12:49

"Make sure everyone knows that feminists don't all subscribe to a ranting, man-hating, extremist philosophy."

You say that as if feminists are failing to correct these myths, but in fact feminists don't have a voice in politics and in the mainstream media.

dittany · 25/04/2010 12:48

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ImSoNotTelling · 25/04/2010 12:47

I can't stand up for myself. I like the idea that society and the legal system will step in, in situations where i can't stand up for myself. (Of course a lot of the time at the moment they don't).

Tulips I am a feminist and I don't want you to have to work or stop dressing sexily. What I want is for you to have teh right to work if you choose, and that if you dress sexily it doesn't mean that some men think it is a signal that they are allowed to shout obscenities at you, touch you, or rape you. And that if these things do happen, society and the legal system will back you up, rather than saying you deserved it because of dressing sexily.

Original poster
happysmiley · 25/04/2010 12:41

dittany, try Islam then. Terrible press because of the extremist element. But plenty of people willing to stand up and be counted as muslims. Most obviously say that they don't agree with the extremists, that they simply agree with the central elements of their faith which aren't extreme and don't hate anyone who is not a muslim.

Maybe feminists need to be equally clear. Make sure everyone knows that feminists don't all subscribe to a ranting, man-hating, extremist philosophy.

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AmberTheHappyLuddite · 25/04/2010 12:39

Some brands of feminism ironically promote the idea of women as victims who don't know their own minds. I find that offensive.

I am a feminist however, but I belive in gender equality and do not see women as weak-willed idiots who cannot stand up for themselves.

Molesworth · 25/04/2010 12:38

tethersend, you're right: when David Mitchell said that women won't find empowerment up a pole, he was applauded, whereas when feminists say the same thing we get told we're trying to limit women's freedom

Original poster
happysmiley · 25/04/2010 12:35

I think that lot of people (men and women) see feminism as an attack on men. That if women can it must be at the expense of men. But I don't think it has to be a zero sum game.

On a personal level, DH has benefited greatly from the fact that I go out to work. It takes the pressure off him as the breadwinner. He knows that it's not his sole responsibility to support his family and we can rely on my income if we need to.

On the domestic front, I think that feminists should be fighting for greater rights for men to flexible working arrangement and parental leave (and I know many are). It benefits them to be able to take an active part in family life. Most have started to find that they enjoy it.

I think we desperately need to move away from the idea that women's gain is men's loss. It certainly isn't true.

OP posts:
dittany · 25/04/2010 12:29

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Tortington · 25/04/2010 12:28

i dont identify with feminism on a political level at all. Furthermore i reject the notion that to do so,means i am 'thick'

i believe that fractioned groups take away from the whole and therefore hinder libertas.

i believe in much more than gender equality, i believe in equality for all.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 25/04/2010 12:27

But why wouldn't you want equal pay for doing the same job?

piscesmoon · 25/04/2010 12:26

I am a feminist-I think that it gives the right to choose. I chose to change my name, be Mrs and stay at home when my DCs were young-a career isn't important to me. I don't like feminism if it tells me that I can't do any of these things and if it dictates how I should think. I am all for rights of women-primarily the 'right to choose'.

dittany · 25/04/2010 12:24

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Original poster
happysmiley · 25/04/2010 12:23

All I'm saying is that there are a lot of groups out there that get a bad press, but it doesn't stop people identifying with them, but feminism seems to only appeal to a small minority.

OP posts:
dittany · 25/04/2010 12:20

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TulipsInTheSunshine · 25/04/2010 12:20

I don't support alot of feminist rantings as I don't like the attitudes towards men.

If most feminists wanted to have equality in truth that would be fine but the vast majority seem to want a complete role reversal whereby men become the 'lesser' gender.

Plus, you know what?...

I like dressing sexily for me and dp... when he's attracted to me i feel more attractive... and vice versa, he dresses nicely for me.

I want to be at home with my children for as long as posssible and do not expect to go back into the workforce for the same pay as a man in an equivalant position who hasn't taken years off to raise babies... and no i wouldn't want dp to stay home with them while i worked... tried it and hated it.

I don't mind a man giving me a compliment on, shock horror, my appearance any more than i would take offense a woman complimenting me on the same.

I think men and women are very differant, both genders have their strengths and flaws... that does not make either gender superior to the other but it also means that we will never be completely equal in every respect.... women will naver sprint in the same race as men, men will never give birth.... ce la vie

Yes there are some unfair inequalities remaining but I do think women who want to succeed seem to have no problem climbing to the top of the career totem pole or making their presence felt in political circles, and that has been true for years already.

BelleDameSansMerci · 25/04/2010 12:19

dittany I think that stuff doesn't bother some women because a lot of people actually don't give a shit about stuff that's not happening to them personally.

dittany · 25/04/2010 12:18

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dittany · 25/04/2010 12:17

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BelleDameSansMerci · 25/04/2010 12:12

tethers - spot on, as usual. I think that's the thing that makes me despair the most.

Original poster
happysmiley · 25/04/2010 12:12

So do the Tories, but I know more of them.

OP posts:
tethersend · 25/04/2010 12:11

Ironically, many women don't like feminism because men don't like feminism.

BelleDameSansMerci · 25/04/2010 12:10

Saw that a lot on the "asking for it" thread... Very depressing.