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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Some clarity in how the trans movement became so embedded, so preeminent

409 replies

MarcTheGenderSkeptic · 22/09/2026 13:17

Despite being called a conspiracist here by a TRA, actually I work very hard to continually interrogate my thought processes, and not fall into easy generalisations etc.
So, I was reading Róisín Michaux and her fascinating conversation with someone high up in HIV funding, and the push in the last 20 years is to get everyone in the tent on retrovirals, meaning reaching out to not just gays and addicts, but sex workers (incl trans) and critically, the "third genders" who have migrated to the West in large numbers to end up as sex workers. And the decision was made to go for maximum anti stigmatization, which means zero messaging on personal behaviour, and critically deciding to accept these men as women. Don't blame them, get more onside.
Guess who has to move aside, and accept the messaging on health grounds that biological men can be women? Made even worse by the increase in HIV in European women who are the partners of men who use the services of these "third genders".
Then yesterday I read the amazing post from Hellofabore about how for 30 years plus, the sports authorities including IOC and FIFA decided to make total inclusion the policy, phasing out gender testing, primarily to allow the male DSDs from Africa mainly to be included, as they were IDd as female at birth, and the cruelty to deny they're still female is wrong.
Again, the overwhelming need is to not stigmatize these individuals. Of course a huge group (we know who) are stigmatized for objecting to losing sports opportunities.
And then back to Róisín Michaux again, her illuminating the revolution in psychiatric medicine, where men back in the day were diagnosed with transvestic disorder, a pure paraphylia, again to stop judging and be more inclusive, underwent massive de-stigmatisation and de-pathologisation, from paraphylia, to dysphoria, now to common all garden "sexual health category".
Three enormous areas where the drive to include men, to destigmatise their plight, to bring them in from the cold, couldn't happen in a vacuum. Society organised along sex-based lines couldn't be simply recategorised, no, a large population group (51% XX) was expected to move over, make their definition porous, extend the collective hand of kindness and inclusion, to this hardcore of men who were deemed most at risk, and needing most help.
At the same time, this blurring of definitions and imposed inclusivity spread from sport and medicine to law and education, the most motivated men worked hard to get the Gender Recognition Act on the statute book, and via Stonewall culture, "social training" and the "trans child" escalated as concepts and then real world consequences as noone in polite society other than a very brave few said anything.
So now we have developing nations male DSDs and "third genders", socially incorporated transvestites/transsexuals, and queer culture first world transgenders in the mix, a political culture in the West frozen into aquiescence and policy drift, and the only light of realism and sanity, an army of women fighting back, with amazing results re SC ruling, banishing self ID into the long grass, and medical and sports bodies tacking back to sanity.
But reading the almost scary analogousness of how health brought in trans and third genders at the expense of women, sport brought in male DSDs at the expense of women, psychiatry brought in transvestites from the cold at the expense of women, you can then see how the most motivated men got the Gender Recognition Act on the statute book to turbo charge the social trans/trans child revolution.
For me, I can now see the past as it travels into the future.

OP posts:
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MarcTheGenderSkeptic · 24/09/2026 23:37

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 22:47

Since men can't become women, it's hugely insulting to women for such deluded individuals to take on the appearance of women while saying they are, have become, women.

You speak for all woman do you? I'm a natal female & I'm not insulted as many aren't. Why be insulted by facts? And those facts are certain traits, behaviours and aesthetics ARE more associated with women. 'Woman' like any other socially constructed category requires associations of which include both common reproductive & behavioural traits.

I don't see the majority of women, incl GC ones, have any issue with gender non conformiity.

Then you would be wilfully blind if you had spent any time on this forum given the routine mocking of feminine expression by natal males.

impersonating.

Don't look now but you are doing 'the thing' as in mocking natal males expression of their feminine inclinations you just said doesn't happen.

WELL DONE!

Women are a "socially constructed category"
I won't even use any gotcha! or cat out of the bag phrase, but actually to thank you for finally saying things as clearly as you have.
Do, women, like men, are a socially constructed category.
Oh sure, there is biology as well, but the critical thing is what you've mentioned.
So, of course a member of one socially constructed category can become a member of the other socially constructed category. Biology now doesn't apply.
As long as that member feels like the traits possessed fit that category.
And so we're back to the circular definition of gender. Male is the male social construct, female is the female social construct. Yet again, the definitions then fall to the stereotypes of those constructs.
And in this world, sure, some women are women because of all the things we've always biologically associated with women. And some are the result of having commonality with the construct that people can adopt, whomever they are.
I recall once talking to a female who had your ideas, we were really at cross purposes. I asked her straight out "so, what's your definition of being a woman, what a woman is?"
She replied 1001 possible definitions, none that I held.
And as they say folks, that was that.

OP posts:
Helleofabore · 24/09/2026 23:25

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 23:19

You could say exactly the same about any other beliefs as in religious or political ones that society has deemed worthy of rights.

Yeah. Religious or political beliefs also make poor sex categorisation tools for human sex categories.

Luckily there is a very accurate way to categorise sex categories in humans and it is not psychological or behaviorial traits. Religious and political segregation outcomes are not really relevant or comparable to sex categorisation of humans. Particularly since religious and political belief can change whereas sex categories in humans cannot.

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 23:19

Helleofabore · 24/09/2026 23:13

And again.

Inclinations and behavioural traits are not valid sex category tools in anyway. There is a overlap that makes both of those not meaningful to use to define sex categories in humans.

You were the one so insistent in bringing in butch women as some
kind of gotcha.

You could say exactly the same about any other beliefs as in religious or political ones that society has deemed worthy of rights.

Helleofabore · 24/09/2026 23:13

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 22:18

'Snookie' is simply a security blanket. And in the case of gender critical women that's categorising femininity as a sexual stereotype.

‘female coded’ apparel ? Female people have worn trousers throughout the ages. an inconvenient fact to be sure for your argument. However, it is true. Just as male people have worn what some people call ‘dresses’.

Last time I shopped for leggings at my favourite Lululemon store I was 'appalled' to notice there were none in the mens section of the store. See where this is going? Stop digging.

The key difference is, neither of the groups of people wearing that apparel claimed to be the opposite sex in general. A rare few female people did claim to be male to escape negative sexist discrimination to enable them to achieve careers they were blocked from entering. Otherwise, the selection of apparel did not change the sex category of the personal choosing that clothing.

As already stated that doesn't explain the necessity to mock the expression of femininity in natal males.

Just like behavioural traits, clothing choices are a very poor categorisation tool for defining sex categories.

The point you are missing is its the common inclinations not the clothes that matter. No one is saying female coded clothing makes a woman rather is its the inclinations towards them provide an association. Men in drag aren't trans women for this reason.

And again.

Inclinations and behavioural traits are not valid sex category tools in anyway. There is a overlap that makes both of those not meaningful to use to define sex categories in humans.

You were the one so insistent in bringing in butch women as some
kind of gotcha.

Heggettypeg · 24/09/2026 22:56

Men are the sex class that continually tries to reduce women to sex objects and exploit them on that basis.

Members of that sex class performing overtly sexualised representations of femaleness is therefore arguably in poor taste, at the very least.

Claiming that their male sexualised representation of femaleness is actually real womanhood is a whole other level of obnoxious.

Shedmistress · 24/09/2026 22:50

Good grief.

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 22:47

MarcTheGenderSkeptic · 24/09/2026 22:36

This is quite something. Since men can't become women, it's hugely insulting to women for such deluded individuals to take on the appearance of women while saying they are, have become, women.
I don't see the majority of women, incl GC ones, have any issue with gender non conformiity.
I see the majority of women have issues with men who think they're women and try and impose this view while doing the impersonating.
And as to this weird view that GC women don't care about Trans men, what's all the angst about teen girls pushing for mastectomies?
That's GC women not worried about them?

Since men can't become women, it's hugely insulting to women for such deluded individuals to take on the appearance of women while saying they are, have become, women.

You speak for all woman do you? I'm a natal female & I'm not insulted as many aren't. Why be insulted by facts? And those facts are certain traits, behaviours and aesthetics ARE more associated with women. 'Woman' like any other socially constructed category requires associations of which include both common reproductive & behavioural traits.

I don't see the majority of women, incl GC ones, have any issue with gender non conformiity.

Then you would be wilfully blind if you had spent any time on this forum given the routine mocking of feminine expression by natal males.

impersonating.

Don't look now but you are doing 'the thing' as in mocking natal males expression of their feminine inclinations you just said doesn't happen.

WELL DONE!

MarcTheGenderSkeptic · 24/09/2026 22:36

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 22:04

It is vastly off topic for this thread, but it has drifted too far to be recovered now (sorry ), but would you care to expand upon what you are saying here?

In fact its right on topic to discuss how gendered behaviours influence trans identification thus 'embedding the trans movement'.

Is it something about how women feel that only women should be allowed to have a feminine presentation? Or that women are angry at feminine men for some reason?

Not women in general but specifically gender critical women seem to resent any feminine presentation in trans women.

The overt reason that women are so enraged by transwomen, and are not bothered by transmen, is that males are inherently dangerous to women (some few males, but we can't tell which ones until it is too late), so transwomen invading female-only spaces is a genuine cause of fear (not necessarily fear of any particular transwoman in front of us in the moment, but fear of the dismantling of safeguarding for women across the board).

Again, if its the potential danger or use of female coded language (as perviously asserted) that trans women present then why the necessity to frame such grievances in mocking demeaning language such as 'woman face' 'men in dresses' 'cross dressers' & 'AGP' or as any other sexual deviancy? Why, the deliberate mocking of attempts at feminine expression of natal males?

However it is worth discussing whether there are, as you propose, other deeper psychological factors at work behind this rage.
One snippet of evidence is the way that society widely accepts the adoption of what used to be coded 'masculine' clothes by women, whereas there is still a common taboo against men ordinarily wearing 'feminine' coded clothes. Some taboos for women still remain: we can wear tailored trouser suits to the office, but don't ordinarily wear ties. The taboos for men are wider and deeper.

Nail on head. And the reason? INTERNALISED MISOGYNY. The demeaning of feminine expression AKA femmephobia has a long history rooted in the systemic devaluation of traits, behaviours and aesthetics associated with women and femininity. Historically, patriarchal structures have positioned masculinity as the universal human standard leaving femininity to be viewed as inferior, superficial, or manipulative.

Describing feminine traits, behaviours and aesthetics as purely a 'stereotype' is simply another form of femmephobia. Just because patriarchal & social expectations exist regarding feminine expression doesn't mean that's the only cause of them. In fact gendered traits are considered as both a nature/nurture phenomenon with genes, hormones & evolutionary survival & mating pressures influencing their expression.

The idea modern women in the west are haplessly slaves to social expectations with zero individual autonomy not only infantilises them but is a deeply sexist trope that your average MRA spouts ad infinitum. In fact they will only be too happy to shout from the roof tops how feminism was a 'learned' indoctrinated phenomena & what women want is just to stay home & have babies. See the parallels of denying personal authenticity?

And now for how gendered traits, behaviours and aesthetics are relevant to the OP's question. Given these are biologically influenced & long standing evolutionary strategies that are shared by the sexes they implicate the psychological & cognitive interchangeability of men & women. In other words, trans people are here to stay because shared gendered traits are part of the human condition.

Edited

This is quite something. Since men can't become women, it's hugely insulting to women for such deluded individuals to take on the appearance of women while saying they are, have become, women.
I don't see the majority of women, incl GC ones, have any issue with gender non conformiity.
I see the majority of women have issues with men who think they're women and try and impose this view while doing the impersonating.
And as to this weird view that GC women don't care about Trans men, what's all the angst about teen girls pushing for mastectomies?
That's GC women not worried about them?

OP posts:
Wishesandhorses · 24/09/2026 22:26

'enraged' by men with gender identities..... er, no. And certainly not about what they're wearing. Yes, it's frequently sexist, reductive and a visual representation of what turns out to be unpleasant and sexist attitudes towards women being enacted, but whatever.

It's the total lack of capacity to permit women single sex spaces or equality that is the issue. Not the costume.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/09/2026 22:21

Shedmistress · 24/09/2026 22:15

I think this thread shows perfectly how it got embedded.

Normal people are just flooded with so much utter nonsense they just walk away and leave the nonsense to itself. There's only so many times you can explain the bleeding obvious.

Unfortunately by that point the nonsense people end up being the ones left in the meeting rooms, and who then voted for their own nonsense to be made into policy.

thats exactly how it works. Explains most political party conferences, for one thing.

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 22:18

Helleofabore · 24/09/2026 10:06

What the fuck is a ‘ snookie ‘ in your world? Back in my childhood it was slang for kissing and I have no intention of ‘going’ anywhere with you for a ‘snookie’ or any thing else.

‘female coded’ apparel ? Female people have worn trousers throughout the ages. an inconvenient fact to be sure for your argument. However, it is true. Just as male people have worn what some people call ‘dresses’.

The key difference is, neither of the groups of people wearing that apparel claimed to be the opposite sex in general. A rare few female people did claim to be male to escape negative sexist discrimination to enable them to achieve careers they were blocked from entering. Otherwise, the selection of apparel did not change the sex category of the personal choosing that clothing.

It seems to be a very weak argument even in the present era. All the women in my family have had more trousers in their clothing choices than dresses or skirts. So what!

Just like behavioural traits, clothing choices are a very poor categorisation tool for defining sex categories.

'Snookie' is simply a security blanket. And in the case of gender critical women that's categorising femininity as a sexual stereotype.

‘female coded’ apparel ? Female people have worn trousers throughout the ages. an inconvenient fact to be sure for your argument. However, it is true. Just as male people have worn what some people call ‘dresses’.

Last time I shopped for leggings at my favourite Lululemon store I was 'appalled' to notice there were none in the mens section of the store. See where this is going? Stop digging.

The key difference is, neither of the groups of people wearing that apparel claimed to be the opposite sex in general. A rare few female people did claim to be male to escape negative sexist discrimination to enable them to achieve careers they were blocked from entering. Otherwise, the selection of apparel did not change the sex category of the personal choosing that clothing.

As already stated that doesn't explain the necessity to mock the expression of femininity in natal males.

Just like behavioural traits, clothing choices are a very poor categorisation tool for defining sex categories.

The point you are missing is its the common inclinations not the clothes that matter. No one is saying female coded clothing makes a woman rather is its the inclinations towards them provide an association. Men in drag aren't trans women for this reason.

Shedmistress · 24/09/2026 22:15

I think this thread shows perfectly how it got embedded.

Normal people are just flooded with so much utter nonsense they just walk away and leave the nonsense to itself. There's only so many times you can explain the bleeding obvious.

Unfortunately by that point the nonsense people end up being the ones left in the meeting rooms, and who then voted for their own nonsense to be made into policy.

Northernlightsss · 24/09/2026 22:04

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 10:06

99% of your posts are meaningless, logically incoherent, or just plain factually incorrect. But I don't have the time or inclination to pick apart each one line by line - it has all been said and done before, many times over.

This one struck me as different because if you dig deep enough there may just be the kernel of an interesting idea worth discussing. The trouble is that whilst your grammar is correct, the sentences don't quite string together to make a coherent argument.

the real problem is & has always been the association of femininity with women [...] that's why gender critical 'feminists' only reserve their viciously mocking rage for trans women not trans men. [...] a deep resentment that's directed at trans women as a proxy for feminine expression

It is vastly off topic for this thread, but it has drifted too far to be recovered now (sorry @MarcTheGenderSkeptic ), but would you care to expand upon what you are saying here?
Is it something about how women feel that only women should be allowed to have a feminine presentation? Or that women are angry at feminine men for some reason?

The overt reason that women are so enraged by transwomen, and are not bothered by transmen, is that males are inherently dangerous to women (some few males, but we can't tell which ones until it is too late), so transwomen invading female-only spaces is a genuine cause of fear (not necessarily fear of any particular transwoman in front of us in the moment, but fear of the dismantling of safeguarding for women across the board).

However it is worth discussing whether there are, as you propose, other deeper psychological factors at work behind this rage.

One snippet of evidence is the way that society widely accepts the adoption of what used to be coded 'masculine' clothes by women, whereas there is still a common taboo against men ordinarily wearing 'feminine' coded clothes. Some taboos for women still remain: we can wear tailored trouser suits to the office, but don't ordinarily wear ties. The taboos for men are wider and deeper.

It is vastly off topic for this thread, but it has drifted too far to be recovered now (sorry ), but would you care to expand upon what you are saying here?

In fact its right on topic to discuss how gendered behaviours influence trans identification thus 'embedding the trans movement'.

Is it something about how women feel that only women should be allowed to have a feminine presentation? Or that women are angry at feminine men for some reason?

Not women in general but specifically gender critical women seem to resent any feminine presentation in trans women.

The overt reason that women are so enraged by transwomen, and are not bothered by transmen, is that males are inherently dangerous to women (some few males, but we can't tell which ones until it is too late), so transwomen invading female-only spaces is a genuine cause of fear (not necessarily fear of any particular transwoman in front of us in the moment, but fear of the dismantling of safeguarding for women across the board).

Again, if its the potential danger or use of female coded language (as perviously asserted) that trans women present then why the necessity to frame such grievances in mocking demeaning language such as 'woman face' 'men in dresses' 'cross dressers' & 'AGP' or as any other sexual deviancy? Why, the deliberate mocking of attempts at feminine expression of natal males?

However it is worth discussing whether there are, as you propose, other deeper psychological factors at work behind this rage.
One snippet of evidence is the way that society widely accepts the adoption of what used to be coded 'masculine' clothes by women, whereas there is still a common taboo against men ordinarily wearing 'feminine' coded clothes. Some taboos for women still remain: we can wear tailored trouser suits to the office, but don't ordinarily wear ties. The taboos for men are wider and deeper.

Nail on head. And the reason? INTERNALISED MISOGYNY. The demeaning of feminine expression AKA femmephobia has a long history rooted in the systemic devaluation of traits, behaviours and aesthetics associated with women and femininity. Historically, patriarchal structures have positioned masculinity as the universal human standard leaving femininity to be viewed as inferior, superficial, or manipulative.

Describing feminine traits, behaviours and aesthetics as purely a 'stereotype' is simply another form of femmephobia. Just because patriarchal & social expectations exist regarding feminine expression doesn't mean that's the only cause of them. In fact gendered traits are considered as both a nature/nurture phenomenon with genes, hormones & evolutionary survival & mating pressures influencing their expression.

The idea modern women in the west are haplessly slaves to social expectations with zero individual autonomy not only infantilises them but is a deeply sexist trope that your average MRA spouts ad infinitum. In fact they will only be too happy to shout from the roof tops how feminism was a 'learned' indoctrinated phenomena & what women want is just to stay home & have babies. See the parallels of denying personal authenticity?

And now for how gendered traits, behaviours and aesthetics are relevant to the OP's question. Given these are biologically influenced & long standing evolutionary strategies that are shared by the sexes they implicate the psychological & cognitive interchangeability of men & women. In other words, trans people are here to stay because shared gendered traits are part of the human condition.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/09/2026 18:38

ArabellaScott · 24/09/2026 11:34

Eh?

'a deep resentment that's directed at trans women as a proxy for feminine expression'

Oh my god, is this the 'you're all jealous because men who call themselves women are better women than you' line? Really? Honestly?

Such a curious individual, this poster.

Wishesandhorses · 24/09/2026 18:18

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 17:01

OK, but in the context of this debate, we are talking about modern western civilisation, as that is where and when the issue of 'trans' is taking place.

In fairness though, we are frequently told this has always been a thing everywhere.

ArabellaScott · 24/09/2026 18:15

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 15:06

Whatever a woman does is womanly. Whatever a woman does is 'feminine'.
[...] Nothing a man does can be inherently 'feminine', by definition.

This is logical.
But if you define the word feminine in this way, you lose the handy and useful meaning of "all things relating to the sexist stereotypes, like floral prints, frills, giggles, and swooshy long hair".
I think that effeminate gay man can be described as feminine.
Equally some women most definitely go out of their way not to be feminine, so if everything they do is feminine by definition, they are scuppered.

You make a good point about the power dynamics of punching up vs punching down. A transwoman is punching down, no matter how 'kind and lovely' that individual is.
Being 'punched-down-at' is enraging, so that is another possible source of the anger.

Those things are just stereotypically feminine.

KnottyAuty · 24/09/2026 17:02

Beowulfa · 24/09/2026 11:09

In Howseland, men are associating with the social categories of women by going to work wearing lipstick.

For some reason they are less interested in associating with all the women going to work not wearing lipstick, having organised packed lunches, remembered clean PE kit, posted the thank you cards they made their kids write to Nan and checked the elderly father in law has a taxi booked to the dentist.

This!!

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 17:01

Wishesandhorses · 24/09/2026 15:39

Cultural norms as to what constitutes 'femininity' changes in time and place.

It can only mean 'what the female sex do'. If a man is swishing his hair and giggling in frilly florals in an Amazon society for example where 'femininity' is performed by hunting and weaponry skills, and women don't do the swishiness, how is he then performing femininity?

All a man can do is perform his perception of the stereotypes (always negative, reductive and insulting) he perceives the sex of women to do in his current time or place. And it's normally an out of date pantomime - do any of us really know many women anywhere in workplace or family who swish, giggle and live in frilly florals as the main post of their identity?

To call men feminine who show particular gentleness, sensitivity or 'campness' in ways that particular society of the time don't regard as fitting stereotypes of masculinity regarded as appropriate to their sex is another act of sexism and policing said masculinity. (In the 18th century some of the top masculine guys in British society were swishing around with the best, swords, frills and all.)

Edited

OK, but in the context of this debate, we are talking about modern western civilisation, as that is where and when the issue of 'trans' is taking place.

Wishesandhorses · 24/09/2026 15:39

Cultural norms as to what constitutes 'femininity' changes in time and place.

It can only mean 'what the female sex do'. If a man is swishing his hair and giggling in frilly florals in an Amazon society for example where 'femininity' is performed by hunting and weaponry skills, and women don't do the swishiness, how is he then performing femininity?

All a man can do is perform his perception of the stereotypes (always negative, reductive and insulting) he perceives the sex of women to do in his current time or place. And it's normally an out of date pantomime - do any of us really know many women anywhere in workplace or family who swish, giggle and live in frilly florals as the main post of their identity?

To call men feminine who show particular gentleness, sensitivity or 'campness' in ways that particular society of the time don't regard as fitting stereotypes of masculinity regarded as appropriate to their sex is another act of sexism and policing said masculinity. (In the 18th century some of the top masculine guys in British society were swishing around with the best, swords, frills and all.)

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 15:06

ArabellaScott · 24/09/2026 14:45

The new question that arose for me was about women's angry reaction to men who express femininity.

Whatever a woman does is womanly. Whatever a woman does is 'feminine'.

Maybe it comes down to intent.

The offensive bit is a man performing something and claiming it is feminine. Nothing a man does can be inherently 'feminine', by definition.

A man growing his hair long or wearing certain pieces of clothing doesn't make him 'feminine' in any way, so I suppose by claiming that he is actually aping women and saying 'I am you', is the presumptuous, and possibly offensive bit. We know that he isn't and can't actually be nor grasp what it is to be a woman.

A punk wears pink eyeshadow but doesn't label it 'feminine'. He may have labelled it rebellion or subversion. He was perhaps poking fun at masculinity or society itself. I guess that's 'punching up'.

It's maybe similar to irritation at 'appropriation' - those who have more power taking things from those who have less power, including a narrative, identity, etc.

Men claiming to be women suggests that women's experience as women is meaningless, our lived, embodied experience can be dismissed, and that a man can just choose to 'put on' womanhood with some fripperies and accessories.

I don't necessarily hold these views, fwiw, just playing with some ideas.

Whatever a woman does is womanly. Whatever a woman does is 'feminine'.
[...] Nothing a man does can be inherently 'feminine', by definition.

This is logical.
But if you define the word feminine in this way, you lose the handy and useful meaning of "all things relating to the sexist stereotypes, like floral prints, frills, giggles, and swooshy long hair".
I think that effeminate gay man can be described as feminine.
Equally some women most definitely go out of their way not to be feminine, so if everything they do is feminine by definition, they are scuppered.

You make a good point about the power dynamics of punching up vs punching down. A transwoman is punching down, no matter how 'kind and lovely' that individual is.
Being 'punched-down-at' is enraging, so that is another possible source of the anger.

Helleofabore · 24/09/2026 14:55

I think the whole thing rests on whether the person claims to be female or not.

I have always thought, and I believe that Greer pointed it out a very long time before, that it was misogyny for any male person to claim that they were in any way female. Because the only thing they ever were, was a version of male that they personally rejected as being ‘male’ by description. For whatever reason. That is the material reality of the situation. All the philosophical theory in the world cannot change that material reality.

And they did that usually by adopting sexist stereotypes to make their claim. Or even just to illustrate their claim.

So, even if it is not a sexual fetish, there is the constant reminder of the misogyny that is inherent in any claim that a male person is female.

MarcTheGenderSkeptic · 24/09/2026 14:50

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 14:35

Your point about whether the clothing is adjusted to fit the body or vice-versa is a good one (I have not read it before, no offence).

A hip trendy rule-breaking gender-bender will make every effort to ensure the clothes fit and look good.
A transwoman will make every effort to ensure the clothes look womanly.

You can't see a person's intentions from the outside, but after a while you can observe their attitude and actions, and listen to what they say. This also is key to making the distinction.

I'm not so sure about this. I've observed a few TIMs in public that are typical greasy/skateboard/grunge aesthetic, no ladylike ways, and yet they're surrounded by women fawning over them, and even a few males around acting what I deem as ultra inclusive.
Then some overtly anxious passive guys who've enhanced their busts hanging out with their mums, who again are all smiles/busy bees around them.
And a few ultra femmes, who have a clique about them, interestingly many males buzz around these guys as well.
Who in these support groups is telling these guys they shouldn't use female loos etc?
None I'd say.

OP posts:
BendoftheBeginning · 24/09/2026 14:47

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 14:35

Your point about whether the clothing is adjusted to fit the body or vice-versa is a good one (I have not read it before, no offence).

A hip trendy rule-breaking gender-bender will make every effort to ensure the clothes fit and look good.
A transwoman will make every effort to ensure the clothes look womanly.

You can't see a person's intentions from the outside, but after a while you can observe their attitude and actions, and listen to what they say. This also is key to making the distinction.

Yes, excellent distinction! I am still deeply comfortable around the foppish, dandyish and fabulous. It’s the “I’m a girl, isn’t it obvious?” males who raise my well-earned caution.

ArabellaScott · 24/09/2026 14:45

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 13:58

The issue for transwomen is that adopting stereotypical femininity (whether overtly sexualised or not) is all they have. Apart from the drugs and the surgeries, all they can cling to to assert their womanhood is this 'femininity', dressed up in mystical language of innate identity etc.
Femininity is the be-all and end-all of expressing their trans identity.
So yes, they assert that if you don't achieve the ideal of 'feminine', you are less of a woman than they are.
But the sticking point is that expression of femininity does not make them a female, and deep down they must know this, no matter how much they assert otherwise.

This is old ground.

The new question that arose for me was about women's angry reaction to men who express femininity.
It may be, as you say, that it is a reaction to being non-consensually exposed to a man's fetish, rather than a reaction against taboo breaking or a conservative boundary-keeping of femininity for females only.

It is very valid indeed to question whether the transwoman who turns up to the office in a knee-length skirt, frilly blouse and pearls is any less of a fetishist than the one who turns up dressed as if for sex-work, and therefore is the former any less objectionable than the latter.
If the frills and pearls on a transwoman are still an offensive fetish, where does that leave liberal ideas of the acceptability of 'gender-bending' dress?
Is the difference purely whether he vocalises that he is a transwoman and expects to be treated as a woman, rather than just being a hip trendy rule breaker?

The new question that arose for me was about women's angry reaction to men who express femininity.

Whatever a woman does is womanly. Whatever a woman does is 'feminine'.

Maybe it comes down to intent.

The offensive bit is a man performing something and claiming it is feminine. Nothing a man does can be inherently 'feminine', by definition.

A man growing his hair long or wearing certain pieces of clothing doesn't make him 'feminine' in any way, so I suppose by claiming that he is actually aping women and saying 'I am you', is the presumptuous, and possibly offensive bit. We know that he isn't and can't actually be nor grasp what it is to be a woman.

A punk wears pink eyeshadow but doesn't label it 'feminine'. He may have labelled it rebellion or subversion. He was perhaps poking fun at masculinity or society itself. I guess that's 'punching up'.

It's maybe similar to irritation at 'appropriation' - those who have more power taking things from those who have less power, including a narrative, identity, etc.

Men claiming to be women suggests that women's experience as women is meaningless, our lived, embodied experience can be dismissed, and that a man can just choose to 'put on' womanhood with some fripperies and accessories.

I don't necessarily hold these views, fwiw, just playing with some ideas.

StandingDeskDisco · 24/09/2026 14:35

FlirtsWithRhinos · 24/09/2026 14:29

If the frills and pearls on a transwoman are still an offensive fetish, where does that leave liberal ideas of the acceptability of 'gender-bending' dress?
Is the difference purely whether he vocalises that he is a transwoman and expects to be treated as a woman, rather than just being a hip trendy rule breaker?

Yes. I mean, is that not obvious? I've written about this quite often before.

As a rough rule of thumb, if the dress is adjusted to fit a male body and the man doesn't claim to be a woman it's all good.

If the body is adjusted or augmented to fit the dress, or the dress-wearer claims they wear the dress because they are a woman then there's some sexist/patriarchal "woman = feminine presentation" stuff going on somewhere.

Your point about whether the clothing is adjusted to fit the body or vice-versa is a good one (I have not read it before, no offence).

A hip trendy rule-breaking gender-bender will make every effort to ensure the clothes fit and look good.
A transwoman will make every effort to ensure the clothes look womanly.

You can't see a person's intentions from the outside, but after a while you can observe their attitude and actions, and listen to what they say. This also is key to making the distinction.