Reflections on trans presence at a Dykes Who Hike event

They have very successful groups across the country. Why would they be accidentally lost if they joined a similar inclusive group? The OP wasn't 'accidentally lost' despite having a clear disrespect for the whole ethos of the group she so desperately wanted to join? Perhaps they're not so awful after all.

Nice. You couldn't care less about traumatised women.

Obviously we are all sorry for your loss, but that was callous. It's not a race to the bottom.

They are not widows. While they call themselves such - I really couldn't care less about them. They have not suffered the loss that is anything approaching what women like me and families like mine have suffered and how dare you suggest otherwise. It is incomparable.

Yes. Only I've yet to meet a golf widow who argues passionately that her husband popping on a pair of court shoes and calling himself Deirdre is the same thing as mine dying at 33 in horrific circumstances.

it’s amazing. I’m a bit obsessed with lavender tbh. Lavender and blueberry cake is amazing as well.

That is a really nasty and ignorant thing to say about women whose partners have decided they are trans in midlife and have consequently suffered pain, grief, frequently financial, sexual and coercive abuse. I don’t suppose you have even looked into their testimonies. You seem blinded by this ideology and truly believe that transwomen can do no wrong and are all delightful people.
I am sorry you have lost your partner, but your lack of empathy for their experiences really disgusts me.

Yes. Only I've yet to meet a golf widow who argues passionately that her husband popping on a pair of court shoes and calling himself Deirdre is the same thing as mine dying at 33 in horrific circumstances.

Well it's Brighton, this type of thing is de rigeur I used to live there and TWs everywhere.
If they tried joining a similar group here in Somerset they'd be "accidentally" lost on the way round.

Of course it's trivial! Language evolves and has done since the dawn of the spoken word. It will continue to evolve despite the stamping and caterwauling of people with specific gripes. And also - this is just another level of hypocrisy. Unless of course you demand 'clear language' from those horrifyingly offensive women who call themselves 'trans widows'. As an actual widow - that is offensive and I judge them harshly. I don't demand they stop calling themselves that though.

Are you a widow? Have you had to tell your young children that their father isn't coming home? Over and over again - because that's what you have to do until they can understand that he hasn't just gone to the work. You haven't, have you? All you've done is defend on some women who have decided to co-opt that identity because their husbands left them. It's not the same. The only difference here is that you couldn't give a shit about language unless you can use it to attack trans people.The hypocrisy is staggering.

Trans widows are not saying they are literal widows. Do you understand what a metaphor is?

I presume golf widows come in for equally bitter criticism

The 'trans widows' threads are about abuse. It's not about 'husbands leaving them'. They are threads where women help support each other through terribly difficult abuse.

Are you a widow? Have you had to tell your young children that their father isn't coming home? Over and over again - because that's what you have to do until they can understand that he hasn't just gone to the work. You haven't, have you? All you've done is defend on some women who have decided to co-opt that identity because their husbands left them. It's not the same. The only difference here is that you couldn't give a shit about language unless you can use it to attack trans people.The hypocrisy is staggering.

Bullshit.

A painfully transparent attempt to deflect from you not addressing a single one of the points I made showing just how shallow your "language is trivial" riposte was.

Back that claim up with specifics or withdraw it.

You've made it perfectly clear that you're only interested in language when it serves your agenda. I call out hypocrisy where I see it.

Do you genuinely not see the connection between "dead name" and "trans widow"? Why are trans people allowed to express the break with their past in terms of death, but not the people who shared those old lives with them? Wow. You really do see trans people as higher value than anyone else, don't you?

Language evolves, yes, but it can also be
forced to change as an act of control.

Native languages stamped out by colonisers. People's own names for the places they live, for themselves and their people, erased.

"Trivial"?

Even you, when you try to control the names that women who lose their husband to a transition chose to call themselves. "Trivial", yet at the same time you cannot bear to allow that language to evolve.

So I'll ask again. And given that you spent some time on another thread arguing for the importance of language when you didn't like what was being said but found you could only take exception to how it was said:

Why do you think the female half of humanity is less deserving of a name that means all of us but only us than people who have slightly different shades of ginger hair, or come from different sides of the Mersey?

Do you truly value women so little you can't imagine why anyone would ever need to speak to us or of us, or that we might want speak about ourselves and the reality of being female?

Why do you value us so little that you see no need to connect us to our history and each other? Do you think we have achieved such social, political and economic parity with men that not only do we no longer need Feminism, we don't even need the words in which it could be written?

Or do you, as I think is more likely, not think about it at all? Do you assume we all know really what a woman is so why does it matter if we play along and pretend a few men are "women" too even if that only makes sense in a world where we agree the defining differences between men and women are mental?

Either way, I pity you.

(Also, thank you so much for your considered use of words like "caterwauling", "stamping", and "gripes". This post will come in handy next time someone tries to claim the high ground by claiming Gender Critical Feminist posters on FWR are nasty, agressive or rude.)

Language evolves and has done since the dawn of the spoken word.

But a man has never evoloved into a women.

What you are describing isnt evolution because its not an organic, slow process that we as a society understand. Its a group of men imposing their beliefs on women.

Caterwauling is going on the ever lengthening list of adjectives used to belittle and demean women's speech.

We have had so many!

We are frothing and squealing and shrieking and whining and spewing.

Some people really hate women having a voice at all.